Let me say that my second period class is hilarious, mainly because of three (sometimes four) guys.
This happened on Monday and I decided to write about it because it was funny. Really funny.
But it might be one of those "you had to be there" things so I'm not sure how this one turned out.
Danny might be a bit OOC but that's just because that's how I characterize him...I'm weird that way.
I don't own DP, by the way.
It was a Tuesday at Casper high, during second period, and Mr. Lancer was just getting into a new lesson.
Danny Fenton, for once, had been on time to his class that day, and as he sat there listening to the announcements he wondered how he was actually going to put up with an hour and half of Lancer's ramblings. Tucker fiddled with his PDA next to him, knowing full well that, despite the actual time on the clock, class didn't officially start until Principal Ishiyama finished the announcements.
There was a beep, and Danny realized that class had officially started, and he sighed. He was bored already.
"All right class, good morning," Mr. Lancer was writing on the board with his back to the class, "Claire, spit out your gum, Dash don't you dare throw that paper airplane, and Tucker put your PDA away or I will sell it on the internet."
All of his students wondered how he was able to do that.
"If you'll direct your attention to the board," Lancer turned around, not missing a beat, "you will see the words ethos, pathos, and logos. These three words are actually devices to be used in a persuasive argument. Who can take a guess at what they mean?"
A short carrot-topped kid raised his hand eagerly.
"Anyone besides Mikey?"
The only thing that would make the silence more affective would be if there were crickets chirping.
"All right, Mikey. What do you think ethos means?"
"Ethos is when you make an ethical approach to an argument," Mikey answered.
"Right," and with a sigh, Lancer continued, "and to save you all the trouble of just bursting with enthusiastic answers to my questions, I'll explain that pathos appeals to emotion, and logos uses plain logic. Now, some examples…"
Mr. Lancer looked around the room, his eyes resting on Dash Baxter, "if Dash were to tell you that football was a fun sport, his argument would be ethics based because he has experience in playing the sport and is therefore qualified to talk about it."
Danny snickered, turning to Tucker and Sam, the latter of whom was behind him, "but what if he's been hit in the head so many times he doesn't even remember what he had for breakfast this morning?"
Tucker could hold in a laugh, and Sam barely did. Neither of them noticed the girl in front of Danny raised her hand.
"Mr. Lancer, can I move?"
"May I ask why, Leah?" Lancer asked as he walked towards his desk to fetch a new marker; the one he had had gone dry.
"Danny's weird," she said simply. Danny turned back around in his seat.
"What?" Danny sounded offended.
Mr. Lancer suddenly had an idea.
"It sounds as though you should have persuasive argument here, Leah," uncapping his marker, Lancer gestured to the bored, "what reasons do you have to convince me to let you move seats?"
"Mr. Lancer…" Leah whined.
"That's not a reason," Lancer smirked, "come on."
"Danny's weird," Leah restated.
"Am not," Danny muttered. He could've sworn he heard Sam giggling behind him.
"And he does weird things," Leah continued, meanwhile the whole class seemed to be cracking up.
Lancer had written all of that down on the bored when Tucker raised his hand.
"Can I just take a picture of what's on the board?" Tucker snickered, then yelped as Danny kicked him in the shin.
"No, Mr. Foley. No electronics out in my class." Mr. Lancer said, "anything else, Leah?"
"And he says weird stuff." Leah said finally.
"And because you sit near him, you feel like you are qualified to talk about this, thus making it and ethical argument. Now Mr. Fenton," Lancer pressed on, "care to make an argument stating the fact that you are not weird?"
"I would," Danny said indignantly.
"Which approach would you use?"
Danny looked deep in thought, "I will use all three rolled up into one big ball of…persuasion."
"Wow, he does say weird stuff," Dash snickered.
Mr. Lancer bit back a smirk, "and how do you expect to do this?"
Danny said nothing, thinking.
"Start with ethos, are you qualified to say you are not weird?"
"Well, I am me," Danny said, "and I find myself to be an awesome guy."
"I support that argument," Sam chimed in from the back.
"Weren't you just laughing at me?" Danny asked.
Sam smirked, and Danny realized that everyone else seemed to be laughing at what he was saying.
"And for pathos," he went on, "well….Leah, when I say stuff, she laughs and it hurts inside."
Even Mr. Lancer couldn't keep himself from chuckling, "there's an emotional argument. He's hurting inside." Lancer wrote it on the board.
"And I don't have anything logical to add except, do I look like a weird guy to you?"
Mr. Lancer looked from the board, to him, and back to the board.
"So far Leah is winning the argument." Lancer decided.
"Oh ouch," Danny winced, "wait, wait, wait, are you telling me that if I started crying right now, that I would still lose?"
"Are you going to start crying, Danny?" Mr. Lancer asked.
"No, not just that!" Danny exclaimed dramatically, "I am going to start bawling my eyes out for ethical reasons in a logical way."
The entire room had burst in to raucous laughter at that. Lancer had to wait for himself to stop laughing before he could go on, "Okay, Danny, show me logical crying."
"Well I can't do it now," Danny said, indignant, "I need a few minutes to picture a dead, crying puppy and then I'm set!"
"Dude, he totally needs to be here more!" Kwan said to Dash in the back.
"Well, Leah," Mr. Lancer said after the laughter had finally died down, "if Danny is as weird as you say he is, I would think you wouldn't want to torture anyone else with his weirdness."
"What?" Leah asked, horrified.
"That, and there are no other seats to give you. Work on your persuasion technique."
"Does that mean I win? I like to win." Danny spoke up.
"I think we can agree on a draw, for now."
"Crap! That's crap, and I will persuade you to believe so!" Danny pounded his fist on his desk for effect.
"You gonna cry, Fenton?" Dash asked.
"You're darn right I'm gonna cry!" Danny said angrily, "just give me a minute to think of that scene where Macaulay Culkin died in My Girl…"
Turning back to the board, Lancer mused to himself.
Despite what he argued, Danny Fenton was indeed one of the weirdest kids he had ever met.