Author's Note: I REALLY have to thank my beta, and I actually forget her fanfiction name thing so I'll call her Lauren Dixon because that's what she is on my email, anyway she's inherently AWESOME and gets all those little things I always seem to miss... plus she helps me with plots and stuff... that's how awesome she is...
Disclaimer: O fpm'y pem Fpvypt Ejp.

Chapter One

Captain Jack Harkness

Suddenly, Jack noticed that something was wrong.

The above sentence was an understatement. Not only was "something" wrong - everything was wrong. He could tell he was alive, and that he did have a body, but... it was all wrong.

He couldn't see like he used to. Not the same colors and shapes, in any case. He couldn't hear, either. And he couldn't physically feel anything, not in the way he usually did. He knew he wasn't himself anymore; well, he was, obviously, but he didn't have any arms or legs, nor a torso or a head. He didn't have any muscles -

Oh, wait. There's one. He flexed it.

A foreign feeling of alarm rose up from somewhere. "...the bloody hell?" he heard.

As he had noticed before, he couldn't hear anything. So, technically, he hadn't heard that, either. But it rung through his mind as if he had heard it, and it sounded like...

"Doctor!" he replied.

He knew it was the Doctor! He didn't know how, but he knew it! He also had no idea how exactly it was that he responded, as he had no mouth to do so with, but it had happened, and that was that.

"Doctor?" he heard, the voice twisting in confusion.

Another spike of alarm, this time so sharp that the feeling became almost mutual.

"Oh my God!" the 'voice' exclaimed, causing it to become clearer in Jack's mind. "I'm the Doctor!"

This confused Jack, if nothing else in his current situation did. Of course it was the Doctor. He didn't know how he knew, but he knew. Something about how he perceived the presence of the Time Lord, he assumed.

Slowly, Jack began to realize that he could see, in his own way. An image filtered its way up to his consciousness. He recognized the inside of the TARDIS instantly, and his attention focused to the Doctor kneeling on the grate flooring by the console, looking at his hands.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked, in that way he just learned.

The Doctor in the image lifted his head instantly, his expression filled with confusion and alertness. "What was that?" he said.

"Doctor, are you alright? What's wrong?" Jack repeated.

The Doctor stood up, glancing around the room. "Who's there?" he asked.

"Call me Captain Jack Harkness," Jack said, and honestly added, "Confused as hell, wherever I am."

"Jack?" the Doctor asked incredulously. "Where are you?"

"No clue. But I can see you. Kind of."

The Doctor spun around. "How are you doing this?" he asked.

Something external suddenly grazed past Jack, and he shivered. He hadn't known there even was an 'external', wherever - or whatever - he was, but now he knew for sure.

The Doctor stumbled. "What was that?" he asked.

"You felt it, too?" Jack asked him.

"Well, the TARDIS shook, if that's what you mean," he said.

"No, I mean the..." Jack fell silent as realization dawned on him.

"Jack?" the Doctor asked, supporting himself with the console as he continued to look around.

"Oh my God," Jack said, and shivered again.

The Doctor stumbled. "Jack, what is it?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm the TARDIS."

"You're the what?"

"I'm the TARDIS!" he exclaimed.

The Doctor paused. "Oh, that's great," he said sarcastically. "Really. We're in flight, I don't know how this bloody thing works, and now even it can't help me, because it's you!" He kicked the console. "How are we ever going to get back to Earth?"

"Wait, you don't know how the TARDIS works?" Jack asked.

"Who do you think I am, the Doctor?" He threw his arms in the air.

"You're not?"

"No, Captain Harkness, sorry, but I'm not." He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I am, if you look at it from one way; but basically, I'm not."

"If you're not the Doctor," Jack asked warily, "Then who are you?"