Cacophonous Solitude

Night is simply beautiful. The wispy tendrils of fog rolling languidly through the air and city streets, the moonlight casting her ethereal glow over the land – soft and gentle unlike the sun during the daylight hours – and the silence, the calming haunting silence that wraps around everything.

"So pretty," words fall from pale silken lips set into an even paler face with hazy eyes of stardust. Here atop the mausoleum at the cities' epicenter a young boy sat admiring the air of the lonely little town, lost amongst the folds of time. No one passed through this desolate town anymore, not since the fire.

It happened several centuries ago, he doesn't know how it started only that it hurt. The searing pain of hundreds of men, women and children; their grief and their sorrows plagued him, occupying his solitude. He was cursed to relive it, to remember it and he hated it and hopped desperately that one day it would just stop – that the souls would one day be free of their tragic prison within the fibers of the ruined town.

He continued to watch even as the sun spilled over the horizon bringing with it the false hope and joy of day. He smiled as the warmth caressed his pale features. He wasn't stupid nor was he naïve but years of loneliness were better spent smiling when he could; he had grown tired of the tears and he could do nothing to revoke this hand fate had so maliciously dealt him.


Allen sighed as he walked across the rooftops of the town to amuse himself. He'd done it thousands of times over the past years and now it was close to second nature. He didn't have much else to occupy his time with and he couldn't simply sit idly by – that's when the memories and the sorrow would surface. The town had become his playground; he knew its ins and outs and everything in between.

Not only did he know of the town but he knew of everyone who had ever passed through – those that plagued his memories and those that he had met during his own existence. The meetings were brief and few and far between but Allen treasured every one of them. It gave him memories that were his own, memories that he could look back on and smile. It was these sparse encounters that gave him the will to continue his pointless existence in this forsaken town.

Keep walking forward. Those words were burned into Allen's mind – since the first visitor he'd ever had came to the town – and they would always perk him up when he was feeling a little more than lost amidst the sands of time. A century was a long time to spend alone after all, and he had had the displeasure of living through several of them.

Allen had seen many things in his existence without ever leaving the small town but he yearned for an end to his eternal isolation. He had contemplated his existence on many occasions and had developed many wild and outrageous theories about how he would meet his end and what his purpose is, though that too was just a means for passing time.

Allen hopped up onto the balcony of the church bell tower which was by far one of the more unstable places in the town; the majority of the supports had been burned away during the fire and the rest had rotted with the passing of the years, but it was the highest point in the town and from there Allen could see its entire layout – from the fringe houses near the river to the overgrown cemetery a few yards away from the church base. But what he really looked for when he was up here was if any people were making to pass through. He had somewhat been deterred by the half a century that had passed without a single person coming through though he knew it was only to be expected. What would people want with a town that had fallen to ruin and probably dropped off the maps altogether?

Still he would sit and stare at the horizon for hours. A couple hours per day were hardly a sacrifice when one was ought to live forever. Sometimes the days and weeks would bleed together like a blurred photograph and before Allen knew it months had gone by, not that it mattered…not that he cared. At this point he just wished the souls of the damned city would find peace, maybe then he too could close his eyes for a slumber from which he would not wake.

As the pale boy continued to contemplate life and its oddities Allen caught sight of an object moving on the horizon, to his surprise and excitement it was heading directly towards the town 'at a disturbingly fast pace' the boy amended as he left his perch heading to the outskirts of the town to see who the new visitor would be.


A small black jeep pulled into the deserted city streets. Allen watched with interest as the driver surveyed the area as he made his way through the streets, stopping at what was once the Town Hall. Silver eyes followed as a figure stepped from the jeep; had it not been for the sharp eyes that were scanning the buildings and streets around him Allen would have assumed this visitor was female, due to the long tresses that fell from a high ponytail and the figures' graceful stature.

Allen slipped down from the roof into an alley and simply watched the male. Kanda grunted as he took in the utter emptiness of the town and began walking away from his vehicle. Allen silently followed, his curiosity piqued by the intense gaze in the male's eyes as he observed everything around him.

Hours passed, the sun had begun to dip in the sky and Allen was still following the male though the town from the shadows. Besides not wanting to disturb the man who seemed fully immersed in whatever he was doing, Allen didn't really know how to approach and introduce himself. It had been quite awhile since his last visitor and that man hadn't exactly been pleasant to deal with, nor had he left Allen with particularly good memories of him, though the pale boy wouldn't trade the memory for the world – it was his and it was precious just like all the others.

"Who's there?" Kanda snapped around, cobalt eyes glaring into the shadows. Allen cringed at the harshness in the male's tone as he shied further into the shadows. Kanda was met with only silence and he was quickly loosing his patience. The figure had been following him since he'd entered the town and he was sick and tired of being stalked around like some sort of attraction. "Come out now, before I fucking drag you out and cut you into unrecognizable pieces you damn stalker."

"I'm not a stalker," Allen stumbled from the shadows a pink flush on his pale features. He was too shocked at the accusation of being a stalker that he hadn't even considered anything as he found himself in quite a flustered state before the male, 'what a first impression' Allen thought as the blush grew darker – first impressions were important, especially when there wasn't often more than a couple conversations before the person would head out on their way.

Kanda was taken aback by the appearance of the young boy who was so pale it was a wonder he could move around in the shadows without glowing.

"Then why are you following me?" deep cobalt eyes fell into pools of silver moonshine. His eyes trailed to the deep crimson pattern contrasting with the pale flesh. Beginning in an inverted pentacle, half hidden by white hair, a line traced down over the boy's eye to taper off just before reaching his chin.

"It's abnormal to see people around here," the young boy fidgeted slightly under the cold stare.

"How so, are you the only one who lives near here?" Kanda asked, eyes drifting to the white locks that framed the childish face.

"In a manner of speaking," Allen said smiling a nervous little smile.

"Che," Kanda scoffed, "brats should be at home, not playing around in some old city – or what's left of it anyway." Now that Kanda thought about it, he realized the child before him could be no more than in his early teens, yet here he was stalking a complete stranger through the burned down streets of a city that had probably been out of commission for decades.

"This is my home," Allen's voice was hesitant and Kanda was silenced. How anyone could live in this shit hole was beyond anything he could imagine. "Mister, are you going to stay long?" Allen's inquisitive voice broke Kanda from his thoughts.

"Why would I stay long in a dump like this?" Kanda asked, subtly asking why the boy lived here but the implied question was lost on the young boy. "And don't call me mister."

"It's not a dump," Allen pouted childishly before a devious glint flitted across the innocence of his silver eyes. "If not mister, what do I call you, miss?"

"Do you want to die Moyashi?" Kanda's glare was piercing.

"Moyashi?" the boy cocked his head to the side in question looking far too adorable to be legal.

"Yeah pipsqueak, you got a problem with it?" Kanda asked a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"It means I'm small?" Allen asked incredulously.

"Give the kid a prize," Kanda said sarcastically as the smirk fully lit his features.

"Well excuse me for my genetic composition," Allen's face flushed with embarrassment and mild annoyance.

"Che," Kanda turned away from the boy making to continue his survey of the town.

"So miss, what shall I call you, 'cause short of simple honorifics I really have nothing unless you want me to simply call you bastard and be done with it," Allen's voice was vehement as his childish features contorted in visible annoyance. Allen yelped as the tip of a very sharp looking sword was pointed at him, at a much too close proximity to be safe.

"Go away Moyashi, I'm sure your parents would want you to come home in one piece tonight," the threat hung heavily in the air as cobalt eyes smoldered with rage. 'Now that there is a volatile temper,' Allen thought as he took a step back holding his hands up in front of him in surrender as he slowly backed away.

"I swear, only lunatics ever come through here," Allen muttered as he had backed up to what he deemed to be a safe distance and turned tail and ran off into the shadows of the nearest alley. As far as he was concerned this male was as much of a homicidal maniac as the last man who had passed through the town a little more than half a century ago.

Despite the foul attitude, the man did intrigue him. The cobalt eyes were darker and more intense than any of the stormy skies Allen had ever seen, which was saying something since he'd seen thousands if not millions over the years.

"Che, brat." Kanda stared after Allen long after he'd disappeared from view 'so other people have passed through here, maybe the kid will be of some use after all' Kanda thought before returning his attention ahead of him and walked further into the town.


Night had fallen and Kanda had returned to his jeep after more fruitless searching – there had been no trace of life, save for the boy with the stark white hair. Kanda was reclined in his seat with his feet propped up on the dashboard; he rolled his head back looking up to the starry skies and the large glowing disc of a moon. The moon reminded him of pools of silver set within pale cream colored skin. Kanda cursed as images of the boy flitted through his head.

Frustrated and unable to sleep Kanda left his jeep, opting to take a late night walk to clear his mind. What he hadn't expected to see was the same child who was causing his unrest to be sitting calmly atop a mausoleum, a soft and inhuman beauty hung about him.

"Oi Baka Moyashi," Kanda called from a few feet away from the base of the graveyard structure. A startled look displaced the calm as the boy's eyes met his. "Get down from there." Allen hopped off the structure landing gracefully in front of Kanda.

"My name is Allen."

"Che, like I care," Kanda said haughtily, taking in the frown that turned the corners of the dusty pink lips. "What the hell are you doing in a graveyard at night? Haven't your parents taught you anything?" Delicate white brows knitted together as silver gaze fell to the floor.

"I'm sorry miss," Allen's voice was cold and unpleasant, "my parents, God rest their souls, probably would have bothered to teach me things about social appropriateness and morals had they not been so preoccupied with abandoning me and then ending up six feet under with everyone else in this accursed town." Allen almost chocked on the words when he realized his mistake in saying that – the memories were pressing on him, influencing his thoughts. Allen never had any parents so even though the story was somewhat plausible it was still not his story to tell.

Kanda's gaze softened feeling like an ass for his thoughtless comments about parents when the kid had none, 'that means he lives here alone…all alone,' Kanda thought feeling his stomach knot in distaste for the situation.

"It's Kanda," not knowing how to respond to the child who'd seemingly become immersed in his thoughts. "That's my name," Kanda explained when he saw the questioning look in the boys' chrome eyes.

"Kanda," Allen tested the voice out on his tongue – rolling off surprisingly easy despite being foreign in nature. A smile made its way to his face. "It's nice to meet you Kanda." Kanda snorted a the boy's change in attitude, he felt foolish for having felt any pity for the boy when clearly his emotions were just as unstable, if not more so, than his own temperament.

"Where do you stay?" Kanda asked.

"Anywhere I feel to," Allen said shrugging.

"Why don't you leave?" Kanda asked.

"This is my home," Allen said simply.

"And you're in the cemetery because?" Kanda asked.

"It's calming," Allen said.

"You are one strange kid," Kanda said.

"I suppose," Allen said seemingly unbothered by the mild insult. Kanda sighed and began heading back towards his jeep, he didn't say anything but Allen followed anyway. Once there Kanda resumed his seat in the small vehicle.

"What are you looking for?" Allen asked as he sat on the stairs leading up to Town Hall.

"What makes you think I am looking for something?" Kanda asked.

"You seemed to be intently searching the town when you first came in," Allen replied.

"I'm looking for someone, or traces of where he could have been," Kanda said.

"Who?" Allen asked.

"None of your business, nosy brat," Kanda said smirking as the boy pouted.

"If you tell me who it is then I could tell you if he's passed through here," Allen said as he leaned back against the stairs to look at the sky. Kanda glanced over at the smaller boy – so calm and carefree. A cold wind blew raising dust and scattering dry leaves, soft silver eyes fell shut as a shiver ran through him.

'He's cold,' Kanda thought absently. He didn't know why he cared, the boy had been living there alone for however many years and was probably used to a little cold air.

"Moyashi come here," Kanda said before he could even process his thoughts. Allen's eyes opened and his gaze fell on the Japanese male before doing as he was told. "Get in," Kanda gestured to the door on the passenger side of the vehicle.

"Why?" Allen asked cocking his head to the side.

"Just do it," Kanda snapped and had to hold back a smirk as Allen hurriedly climbed into the seat, sitting awkwardly stiff. Kanda reached behind him, pulling a blanket from his belongings in the back of the jeep and shook it out before tossing it over Allen who had been staring at him inquisitively the whole time.

"What's this for?" Allen asked as pale fingers traced the folds of the cloth.

"You're nothing but skin and bones Moyashi, even the smallest breeze could probably get you sick," Kanda said.

"I'm not cold," Allen frowned.

"I saw you shiver," Kanda stated watching as the boy's eyebrows furrowed, looking far too much like a small child who'd been caught at something. "If you're going to get sick and die do it after I leave." With that said Kanda tilted his head down as he allowed his eyes to close.

Despite the harsh bite to Kanda's answer Allen felt a twist of joy in him. He had memories of such warmth and joy, ones of small children and their parents and older siblings – all wonderful memories though none were his own – he couldn't help but wonder if the fluttery feeling in his heart was how those children had felt when they were scolded and protected by someone who cared about them. Allen pulled the blanket closer around him nuzzling his face into the soft material that smelled like the Japanese male, a musky earthy smell, it was soothing.

Kanda cracked an eye open to glance at the boy beside him who'd fallen asleep, a content smile on his pale features. 'He really is a fool, smiling like that even in his sleep,' Kanda thought before falling into his own contented slumber.


When Kanda awoke Allen was gone, he had frowned upon seeing the empty seat beside him but he figured the kid would come back eventually, though he didn't want to admit that he actually wanted to see the silver eyed brat again.


Allen had woken with tears in his eyes around dawn and had quickly disappeared into the shadows of the town's oppressive buildings. From the shadows blurry silver eyes took a glance back to make sure Kanda hadn't been disturbed before he sought sanctuary in the decrepit church.

"God, please help me cope with these memories, that I will not loose myself under their weight," Allen was bowed before the alter, white locks sticking to damp cheeks as he prayed.

He remained in his humbled state for hours until the images stopped flitting through his head and the tears stopped coming.


Kanda walked through the town cursing himself for being unable to block out the white haired boy from his thoughts. 'I'm only going to ask the kid about people who may have passed through here' Kanda thought a scowl set upon his face 'that's the only reason I'm looking for him.'

After having searched for hours Kanda had grudgingly returned to his jeep. He had absolutely no idea where in the damn town the kid could be. What bothered Kanda most was not the fact that he couldn't find Allen, but the fact that he had been looking for him, wanting to catch a glimpse of that milky skin. The boy intrigued him; he was enchanting like some sort of nymph or dryad, a presence that was nature's perfection yet the embodiment of temptation – sinfully irresistible.

Kanda leaned against his jeep, a fiercely angered scowl upon his face. He mumbled a variety of profanities until he caught a glimpse of white between two buildings. Cobalt eyes narrowed a Kanda was off running before he could even process what he'd seen.

"Oi Moyashi!" Kanda called. Another flash of white around a corner but no response came, "what the fuck is your problem? Stop running baka!"

"Kanda, what are you doing?" Allen asked as he ran up beside the yelling male. Kanda stopped abruptly in his tracks – Allen had come from behind him – what had he been following?

"Are there any other people living here?" Kanda asked as his eyes narrowed on the place he'd last seen the flash of white.

"No, it's just me," Allen said following Kanda's gaze. "Why?" Kanda said nothing; he was too preoccupied trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Allen rested a hand on Kanda's shoulder only for the male to snap his harsh glare on him and grab his wrist in a painful hold.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" Kanda asked heatedly.

"Nothing, what is wrong with you?" Allen winced from the grip on his wrist.

"I followed something white to get here, it was just a glimpse between buildings and around corners but I thought it was you. Since you so bluntly stated that you are the only one here then somehow this is your fault," Kanda was sneering now, all thoughts of how he'd been mesmerized by Allen were suppressed and he was just furious for being made a fool of. "What are you doing to me brat?"

"I swear I didn't do anything," Allen said. There was nothing in the town but the structures that had somehow managed to last the ages and himself of course, but there weren't even any animals living in this lifeless town let alone people. 'What could he have seen?' Allen wondered.

"You little fucking liar," Kanda growled as his eyes bored into Allen.

"I think you need some time to cool down and reflect over whatever it is you think you saw," the uneasiness in Allen's voice didn't go unnoticed by Kanda as his eyes narrowed. Allen had slipped quickly from Kanda's grip and had stumbled back a couple of steps, putting a couple feet of distance between him and the Japanese male.

"Don't you dare run off on me," Allen shuddered at the ice in Kanda's voice. Allen stared at Kanda in silence not knowing what to do. He was intimidated by the anger that radiated towards him – he couldn't die but if he was to be run through with this man's weapon of choice then he'd be bleeding for days upon days before he'd begin to heal like any normal human would.

"What have you done to me Moyashi?" Kanda asked. He was met with only silence as Allen took a step back hands in front of him in a silent surrender as Kanda began to stalk towards him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Allen said as he was backed up against a wall.

"Then why the hell can't I stop thinking about you?" Kanda's voice sent shivers shooting up Allen's spine. There was a brief silence before Kanda growled slamming his hands on either side of Allen's head. "I've barely known you for a day and I already can't fucking stand you." Allen tried to avert his gaze but something about Kanda's eyes had mesmerized him and he was frozen solid.

"Though that weird cheerfulness of yours pisses me off, I couldn't help but come looking for you after you'd left my side this morning," still Allen was silent as he felt himself being drawn into the stormy cobalt depths before him. 'He came looking for me?' Allen thought feeling his heart skip a beat.

"Obviously this isn't me. I'm not the one feeling these fucked up emotions, so what the fucking hell did you do to me?" Kanda glared down into the shimmering pools of silver. Breaking his gaze to the side Allen felt his heart beat spiking. This proximity was driving him crazy; he was completely encased in the scent that was Kanda, that earthy musky smell that hung about the jeep and his possessions.

Kanda's right hand slid down the length of Allen's cheek to his chin before forcing the boy to face him again. "If you don't give me an answer, I'll have to force it out of you."

"And if there's no answer to give?" Allen had somehow found his voice amidst the chaos of his mind. A rough growl was the only show of acknowledgement as warm lips crushed against his with a bruising force. Shock wasn't enough to describe the emotion that had shot through every fiber of Allen's body as he shoved Kanda away. With one last weary glance at the navy haired man, who was quickly composing himself, a furious aura surrounding him – almost tangible – Allen ran.


'What the hell was that?' Allen was desperately trying to calm his heart as he curled his knees to his chest in the bell tower. He'd never experienced anything of this nature so not only was he confused and frightened but a whole slew of new emotions were bubbling up within him. He continued to puzzle over the events that had transpired not a good few minutes ago.

Absentmindedly he traced his fingers lightly over his lips. 'Kanda,' Allen thought and felt his heart skip a beat again. 'Is this what liking someone feels like,' Allen wondered, all he remembered of love and emotions of that nature was the pain and loss that inevitably came with it – the grieving for dead loved ones and the aching of seeing their families alight, screaming and wailing in agony – love couldn't be all that great if it only cause people pain Allen had determined long ago.

'So why is there a fluttery feeling filling my chest?' Allen's mind drifted through theories and ideas as he had been given something new to puzzle over for the first time in years. 'My own emotions huh?' Allen thought mentally laughing at the thought, 'that's impossible…how can I have emotions if I am nothing but an idea?'


"Fucking retard, why the hell did you go and do that," Kanda cursed as he kicked the ground in annoyance. He'd lost all sense of reason and control of his body for that single moment while drowning in what he believed to be a chrome colored madness. He was angry when he'd been pushed away but the jolt had brought him back to his senses. He didn't deny that he'd enjoyed the sweet milky taste of the smaller boy but he didn't give a shit…he couldn't…there was no possible way that there was anything more than a shallow interest in the oddity by the name of Allen.

Chalking it up to a mixture of temporary insanity and whatever the hell the boy was doing to him Kanda pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he sought out the boy. He had to clear up the situation before anything happened that he'd regret. 'Damn kid can run fast' Kanda mused as he walked through the streets for any sign of white hair and pale skin.


"Forgive me father for I have sinned," Allen's voice was soft as he knelt before the alter, "I shall stray no more from the mission you've given to me."

After having carried away with his own thoughts, Allen was flooded with memories and feelings that weren't his own. Taking it as a sign that God was angry with him he had come down from the bell tower to pray and beg for forgiveness.

"Please God, put these weary souls to rest, that their worries will no longer plague me," Allen's voice got fainter as he glanced up at the worn stained glass image of faith, "that I too may rest."

"He's not listening," Kanda said, alerting the smaller boy to his presence in the church. Allen whipped his head around in shock, eyes wide as he registered the fact that he wasn't alone. Cobalt eyes widened a fraction at seeing the tear stained face before him. After overcoming his shock Allen rubbed furiously at his eyes with his sleeve in vain attempts to hide the evidence.

"Oi, stop that," Kanda growled as he made his way over to Allen, gripping the thin limbs and pulling them away from the now red flushed cheeks. "You'll just make it worse you dolt," a hand moved up to caress the blushing cheek, gently tracing circles on the raw skin.

Silver eyes widened to small saucers as Allen went rigid under the touch. "Che, you've rubbed it raw," Kanda's voice was slightly annoyed though holding none of its normal roughness. Kanda hadn't been far from the church when he saw Allen slide down from the roof to head inside. He'd meant to make it clear that he didn't care about Allen in the least but here he was. He'd instantly forgotten why he'd been searching for the boy when he saw the tears marring the pale features of his skin.

"You come here a lot?" Kanda asked to which Allen nodded. "Sitting in cemeteries all night and beseeching forgiveness from an idea; living all by yourself out here has really gotten you bent." Allen frowned as he shifted his gaze to the chafed wood that made up the floor. Kanda sighed at the silence and though annoyed, his expression didn't reflect this.

"You want to die?" Kanda asked, Allen tensed and shuffled back hitting his head on the alter; his eyes clenched shut as his hands flew to nurse his throbbing head. "Baka," Kanda grumbled as he moved forward pulling Allen into his arms. 'Why can't I just leave him alone?' Kanda thought begrudgingly as Allen went stiff in his arms.

"You were asking to be allowed to rest, if you really hate it here that much then you should just leave," Kanda said as he skimmed his fingers through the white locks of hair that were just as soft as he'd imagined it to be.

"What is the significance of this?" Allen asked; he understood from vague memories of children being hugged by those older them as a means to comfort them for the loss of their parents. Embracing was a means of offering comfort and security but what he couldn't understand was why this gesture was coming from Kanda.

"This embrace," Allen said. "As best as I can see it, we're almost complete strangers yet you're offering a gesture of comfort that is meant for those whom you are close to. I don't understand." Kanda wasn't sure how to answer such a question, it was odd and unorthodox. Was there such a definitive significance behind this gesture?

"I wanted to so I did, it's as simple as that," Kanda said as he momentarily tightened his grip for emphasis. 'What's this feeling?' Allen wondered as he relaxed into the warmth of Kanda's arm, scent washing over him soothingly.

"I don't know why but I don't care anymore," Kanda muttered as he stood, bringing Allen up with him, "don't leave my side." The command wasn't harsh like Allen had grown accustomed to over the past two days with the man. Before Allen could say anything he was dragged out from the church to the black jeep waiting patiently for its owner.

"His name is Lavi; he's the smartest idiot in the whole fucking world. He's annoying as hell and he'd probably have talked your ear off about something historical had you come across him. He's got fire red hair and he wears an eye patch leaving a single emerald eye visible – if he'd come through here it would have been about a month ago," Kanda said as he sat Allen in the jeep before climbing in to sit next to him.

"You're the first person to come through here in several years," Allen said after processing the information he'd been given. Kanda nodded as he sighed. 'Another dead end,' he thought as he leaned back in his seat.

"Who is he?" Allen asked.

"I suppose he's what you'd call a historian, though he's far too scattered to fit into a single classification. He's been traveling the world to learn things and record events as they happen, or some shit like that. He's been missing for almost a year now and myself as well as two others have been searching for him," Kanda said. 'Though I am looking for someone else – baka Usagi just happened to obstruct that temporarily,' he amended in mild annoyance.

"Where will you look for him next?" Allen asked.

"Next town," Kanda shrugged, his leads had all dried up and he had no particular direction to head in next. He didn't like traveling blind, but there was nothing he could do if the idiot hadn't passed through the town.

"I hope you find him," Allen said, eyes upturned to the darkening sky.

"You and me both. Once I find the moron I can get back to my own life," Kanda said, tracing Allen's form with his eyes. 'The temperature is going to start dropping soon,' Kanda thought as grabbed the blanket and once again draped it over Allen.

"You will stay here tonight. If I wake up and you're gone I'll cut your Achilles tendon when I find you, and I will find you," Kanda said, "now go to sleep."

After staring at Kanda blankly at Kanda for a moment a pout affixed itself to his pale features. Kanda leaned over, tracing his thumb across the puffy red skin surrounding Allen's still bloodshot eyes.

"You shouldn't cry for such pathetic reasons, it makes you seem all the more vulnerable, what with that infantile face of yours," Kanda said placing a light kiss on the raw skin. 'I'm going to regret being so nice to this kid' Kanda thought as he watched Allen's whole face flush red. Allen turned away bringing his knees up to his chest under the blanket.

Kanda was so hot and cold with him that Allen really couldn't understand what the male was thinking. The feelings that were rising in him were so foreign and worrisome. If he really was falling for this man, if this feeling really was love, they'd both know only pain.

Allen would live as long as the town continued to exist and the souls continued to cry for salvation. It would be a hollow lonely life but a life nonetheless. Kanda however would age and die and Allen would once again be left alone. A human's life span was less than a century – many barely living to see their fiftieth year. A century for Allen would be the equivalent to a decade to a normal person.

Allen had sometimes cried because he'd realized that all the people he'd ever met would have died long ago. From the very first person he'd ever met to the man he'd met only fifty years ago, they were all dead – such knowledge would make Allen feel a whole new sense of loneliness and be pit into further depression. In a few short years for Allen, Kanda would have lived out his life and join the others in death.

Allen didn't want to nurture these feelings of love. One day, not too far down the road, he'd loose himself to grief like all those whose memories he held. He would come to depend on the warmth and odd forms of kindness he found in the Japanese male and would be utterly lost because of it – it was bound to play out that way. Allen wouldn't be able to feign joy and remain living for the town's eternity and would go to hell for abandoning his mission.


It was nearing dawn when Allen finally surfaced from his thoughts. He didn't know when he'd fallen asleep, just that he'd been contemplating the strange emotion which he now identified as love and how such a feeling would be disastrous on him. Wanting to save them both the pain, he resolved to avoid the male until he left – he knew there was no trace of his friend here so he'd leave soon enough. Allen carefully and quietly snuck away from the jeep, taking refuge in the cemetery.

The morning air was cold against Allen's skin making his pores raise and his hair stand on end. Shivering as he walked he thought back to the warmth of Kanda's jeep. He instantly missed the covers and the silent companion but he would not go back. 'If Kanda does find me and carries out his threat I won't be able to walk for quite a while,' Allen mused – no he hadn't forgotten.

Though the idea of lying static until the tendons healed was daunting Allen rationalized that suffering some flesh wounds would be better than an eternity of loss. He wasn't sure if it was selfish of him to think this way but then again such things were natural given his situation.


Kanda woke once again to an empty seat next to him and felt the anger boiling within his veins. Had his threat been so insignificant? Did Allen not give a damn, that he'd rather spend his days unable to walk than to spend a night by his side?

'He cares, if he didn't then he wouldn't blush like he does and he wouldn't look at me with that kind of admiration,' Kanda thought. 'There is no way in hell he can look at me like that and not be interested, so why did he leave?'

Kanda left in search of the white haired enigma, wondering about what he knew of Allen, trying to come up with an answer to his ponderings. He really didn't know much about the kid, they had met not even a full three days ago so it would stand to reason that Allen would be uncomfortable with the idea of any sort of intimacy. 'He did grow up all by himself out here, with no one around to share his joys or worries with,' Kanda thought.

Allen was lost, he was unsure of what he wanted because his wants were probably a foreign concept to him, having survived all his life on needs alone. He would never have experienced such emotions as love and what with Kanda's awkward and rather untimely advances it was no wonder Allen was confused. 'Of course he wouldn't think I'm serious – I still can't believe I'm serious,' Kanda mused.

Hours passed as Kanda searched the town. Up and down streets and in and out of buildings he searched. Finally he made his way into the cemetery after having had no luck anywhere else.

"Moyashi I know you're in there, so come out and save us both the trouble of me dragging you out," Kanda called from the small gate leading towards the rows of broken and weather worn headstones. If Kanda had been anyone else he may have realized that such a statement was hardly reassuring and wouldn't evoke the desired result.

'Why won't he just go and find his friend? Why is he bothering with me?' Allen thought as he pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them close.

"I'm sorry ok," Kanda was exasperated. "I know how strange this must be – I've known you for barely three days so I was probably out of line kissing you but – It's your fault too you know. If you hadn't looked at me like that and if you weren't so damnably adorable then this shit wouldn't have happened."

"So it's my fault?" Allen asked himself softly as tears built up in the corners of his eyes, "I really am cursed then."

"Moyashi?" Kanda looked towards the mausoleum that stood in its ominous glory beside him. 'I swear that was his voice, it was muffled but…' Kanda thought as he pulled open the stone tomb door. Peering into the darkness Kanda shuddered as a draft of cold air blew past him. Sure enough there Allen was, curled up in the far corner of the drafty tomb.

"You little brat, you think it's funny making me search the whole damn town for you?" Kanda asked as he crouched in front of Allen.

"Why won't you just go away?" Allen's voice cracked. 'Why are you dangling in front of me when I can never grasp you?' Allen thought.

"Because I don't want to, and I've never been one to do things that don't suit my wants," Kanda said. "Likewise I'll take what I do want. And guess what Allen," breath tickling Allen's ear and neck. "Right now I want you." Allen shivered as he felt warmth pool in his heart at the sultry voice tickling his senses enticingly.

"I don't want you," Allen breathed as he scooted away from Kanda, back pressed up against the stone coffin at the centre of the room.

"Liar," Kanda said simply. "I don't know what it was like to live up entirely alone but you should know that lying is considered impolite." Allen was silent as his silver eyes met Kanda's stormy eyes amidst the dull shadows of the crypt.

"It would never work out," Allen said, "feelings like love hurt the most."

"Sure this whole situation is unconventional but how can you be sure that it's doomed to failure?" Kanda sighed.

"Go away," Allen whispered.

"Is that really what you want?" Kanda asked.

"I…yes," Allen said.

"Fine," Kanda said standing, glancing down into moonshine eyes. 'I give him an hour at most,' Kanda thought as he walked away.

"Ka-" Allen cut himself off as he shook his head 'no this is what I want, it'll be easier this way' he thought as he turned his gaze back to the dark void of the floor.


Almost two hours had passed, leaving Kanda flustered and anxiously awaiting Allen. It was bound to happen, the boy was going to come to him – sure he'd averaged the time incorrectly but he knew he'd read the boy right.

'What the hell am I doing?' Allen mentally kicked himself for he found himself staring at Kanda from the shadows as he had the first time he'd come into the town. 'I already resolved to leave him alone and he finally left me alone. So why am I here?' Allen swallowed the lump of bile that had risen in his throat as his eyes traced the delicate yet strong slope of Kanda's neck.

"Really now, you don't have to stalk me," Kanda said finally picking up on Allen's presence.

"I…I'm not stalking you!" Allen yelped, face flushed as he stepped from the shadows to see the contented smirk on Kanda's face. 'Well now it's about time' Kanda thought as he leaned against the side of his jeep.

"So you going to stand there and stare at me all day?" Kanda asked, cocking a brow to further emphasize his question. Allen was silent as his blush darkened.

"The view is great and all but maybe you'd like to come closer, that is unless you're scared of something," Kanda baited slowly coaxing Allen into coming to him.

"I'm not scared of anything," Allen snapped, lips drawing into a tight line and brows furrowing slightly. 'Well that isn't entirely true,' Allen thought.

"But you are aren't you? It's because you want something from me isn't it?" Kanda said.

"I don't want anything from you," Allen said. 'Well that isn't entirely true either…when did I become such a liar?' Allen wondered in mild dismay.

Before Allen realized he was standing directly in front of Kanda. The Japanese male smirked as he reached out and brushed a few of the silky white locks away before leaning forward and pressing his lips gently to Allen's flushed cheek.

"What'd I say about lying brat?" Kanda breathed against Allen's neck causing shivers to run through the pale boy's skin.

"I never claimed to be polite," Allen muttered breathily as he allowed Kanda to embrace him.

"That's probably one of the reasons why I'm so infatuated with you," Kanda said breathing in the soft honey smell that hung off Allen.

'God, why do you tease me in this way?' Allen thought as his eyes fell shut and he silently welcomed the sensations of being in Kanda's arms.


"Stay with me forever," Allen whispered as he curled closer to Kanda.

It was late evening again and Kanda and Allen were in the back of the jeep. Kanda had cleared aside the stuff in the tray and spread the blanket, producing a makeshift bed. They had laid there for hours, silent companionship at its best, each lost to their own thoughts.

"I'm not sure about forever, that's a long time to spend with a brat like you," Kanda said jokingly only to see the pain flicker through silver orbs.

"Don't leave me alone," Allen said. At this Kanda understood a bit of why Allen had been so hesitant, he'd been abandoned by his parents, the only two people that were supposed to love you no matter what you did and then they had died. If those people had left him it was no wonder he would think that Kanda, a person he'd known for a few short days, a person who had no reason to stick around, would leave him and he'd be alone again.

"I promise," Kanda muttered as he felt the boy's breathing even out beside him – he'd fallen asleep. "Che, baka Moyashi."


Morning came and with it so did the dawning of reality in one pale boy's mind. He'd pent the whole night wrapped up in Kanda and had woken to those cobalt eyes that drew him into their storm. The tense atmosphere that hung about Allen wasn't lost to Kanda who immediately assumed that Allen was regretting coming to him.

"I'll be leaving today," Kanda said watching for a reaction from the pale boy. "There's nothing left here in this town and I've spent too long in this place." Allen was silent, as he felt the sinews around his heart clench. He didn't want the Japanese man to go but it was bound to happen – he had known that even then when he had fallen asleep in the security of his arms and when he'd begun to fall for him – he could do nothing to keep the male there, not that he would.

"Well I hope you find whoever you are looking for," Allen said a smile being forced to his face, "it was nice to meet you Kanda."

"Come with me," Kanda said.

"You're kidding right?" Allen asked laughing, though he knew there was nothing but seriousness in the other's words. Kanda said nothing, waiting for a response.

"I can't," Allen's voice was soft.

"Why the fuck not?" Kanda was angry now, he expected a variety of things from the boy – spastic hysterical outbursts and stuttering and loss of composure, he'd even considered unrestrained joy – but he'd never have expected the serious rejection to his offer. "There is absolutely nothing for you here!"

"This place is my home, it's in my blood and I can't just leave," Allen said. He did want to go, but he was tied to the town, he only existed because it did…because the sorrow and resentment of the tragedy that had occurred was given form in him.

"Last night you wanted me, you'd have given anything to be with me," Kanda was confused, "what now, this decrepit bunch of broken down buildings is more important to you? Are you fucking serious?"

"I'm sorry," Allen's voice was soft and regretful. 'Last night should have never happened,' Allen thought. Kanda's expression hardened and he scowled turning away from the white haired boy not wanting to show his disappointment. "It's not that I don't–"

"Che, you actually thought I was serious? You're more of an idiot than I thought you were," Kanda's voice was cold and biting, it made Allen cringe.

"I'm not real Kanda," Allen said sighing as he wanted the older male to at least understand a little of what he was feeling "I'm the collective memories and regrets of this city. I'm an idea born of the residual energy of these cursed ruins…it wouldn't work out."

"What a load of crap! Baka Moyashi, living in your own little world so long you can't even tell imagination apart from reality," Kanda was clearly not buying the explanation. Allen knew it had been a long shot in the first place but he had wanted so much to ease the pain of rejection by giving a reason, yet the Japanese male simply scoffed at him thinking he was some stupid little dreamer – not that he wasn't a dreamer.

"Just stay here and rot with your damn fantasies and regrets," Kanda's voice was venomous as he hopped in his jeep and revved the engine. Allen said nothing as he held back the tears that were threatening to fall. He watched until long after Kanda had disappeared from view, only then did he let the tears fall. There under the bleeding sky Allen cried tears that for once were his own.


"Damn him and his alluring eyes," Kanda cursed as he belted it out towards the next town. "Damn him and that stupid pathetic look on his face…damn him and his stupid problems…damn him for making me feel like this."

"What is his fucking problem anyway? It's damn clear he wants me as much as I want him," Kanda growled trying to comprehend what had happened. "And what the fuck was he spewing crap about not existing and shit for? Did he seriously think that I'd buy that nonsense?"

"Fucking hell, the damn kid won't get out of my head," Kanda cursed, slamming the breaks and hitting his head against the steering wheel in frustration. He couldn't remember the last time he'd become so emotional over anything – it was always slice first and talk later or his much practiced indifference.

"It wouldn't work out my ass, you're the only one preventing it from working out," Kanda grumbled as his anger phased into annoyance and back into anger.

"Damn it all, this is Lavi's fault!" Kanda scowled as he hit the steering wheel again. "If the baka Usagi hadn't gone missing then I wouldn't have met…and I wouldn't have fallen…shit."


'I'm such an idiot,' Allen thought as he resumed his mundane ritual of walking across roofs and perched himself in the bell tower. He wasn't looking for anyone anymore; he didn't want anyone else to come through the town. Yes complete isolation would be much easier.

There Allen sat crying in his solitude, crying for the memories that plagued him and crying for his own pain – pain that should never have been because he was never to have fallen in love. He truly was a fool.

The tears kept coming, an unrelenting tide of grief –Allen was drowning in sorrow, chest clenching tightly. "I want him…even if it's for a day," voice soft and trembling Allen clutched at himself trying desperately to chase the chill away.

But it was too late; he'd never see Kanda ever again. The man was proud and strong and Allen knew the man wouldn't lower himself to beg, and he most definitely wouldn't come back for him. So when the boards creaked and he felt a hand brushing away his tears he'd thought he was dreaming.

"Kanda?" Allen looked up through teary eyes.

"Baka Moyashi, just had to go to the highest place in the damn town," Kanda said smirking at the expression of shock peering through the teary silver eyes.

"Why?" Allen asked.

"I promised that I wouldn't leave you alone didn't I?" Kanda's smirk grew wider breeching on a smile. "I'm not so much of an ass that I'd break a promise to some cry baby of a kid." Allen said nothing as he lunged into Kanda's arms, reveling in the warmth.

The movement had been just enough to send the two along with the tower spiraling into a heap of broken beams and rubble. Besides a few scratches and bruises the two sustained no real injuries.

"Nice going brat, you destroyed the church, you know you're going to hell for that right?" Kanda groaned as he crawled out of the rubble with a quite dizzy Allen at his side.

"Until then can I stay with you?" Allen asked cocking his head to the side cutely.

"I'm not going to hell with you," Kanda said smirking as he headed to the jeep fingers interlaced with Allen's.

"I didn't ask you to go to hell with me," Allen pouted only for Kanda to pull him into a soft kiss. Allen groaned softly at the sensation as Kanda trailed his tongue over Allen's bottom lip sensually. Kanda pulled back a bit, a contented smirk upon his features.

"Well maybe you should have," Kanda murmured breath ghosting over Allen's lips.

Silver eyes widened in mild shock at the statement and before he knew it he was in Kanda's jeep and they were blazing down the road, away from the town he'd inhabited for the past several centuries.

As it turns out, the only thing keeping Allen trapped within the town had been himself. The mistress Fate may deal the hands but there's nothing stopping the players from changing the game.


A/N: Hurray for my first AU fic! Well not really, this was kind of weird…I wrote it while in my data management class (most boring class I've ever had the displeasure of attending) I liked the initial idea when I'd had it but I'm not sure I like how I ended up writing it – seems a bit bland.

Also the title is a bit sketchy *shrugs* anyway let me know what you think, maybe I'll take it down and fix it up when I get new inspiration for it. I may stay away from AU fics for awhile though, 'cause in comparison to my other Yullen fics this one was seems to be lacking (in terms of the setting especially) or maybe that's just my perception.

Until next time, thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my works.

Comments are welcomed – they make me happy :)