I tried to never regret anything, no matter how bad it was. I only had one life, and I intended to live it. My one hope at the end of my life, was that I could look back and smile at every thing I had done.
Living Like We're Crazy In Love
By Gabby Reisz
"Wow." I whispered.
Kara walked shyly into the room. Her floor length dress, whiter than snow, sparkled against her skin. It was laced with beads and ruffled at her entrance. She was beautiful.
I felt selfish envying Kara. It was her day, one of the most important in her life. It was her day to shine. I leaned down and scratched at my leg. The bride's maids dresses were somewhat cute, but itched like hell.
The day had finally come. Kara and Rian were getting married.
I was there the day he purposed, well, we all were. Rian and Kara were the only ones who didn't know, and Rian was the one who made the mistake of telling the loudmouth all-around fun boy Alex about the proposal. He told my boyfriend Jack, who told me, of course. And then we all laughed at Zack for being the last one to know.
Rian was planning on spending the weekend in New York, but when that didn't work out, he improvised. Instead, he planned a very romantic evening at Druid Lake. It may have been polluted and cold, but Rian had skill when it came to making her feel special.
The guys and I may not have heard what they said, but we saw the proposal. It was a somewhat tear-jerking moment for me. Rian got down on one knee, pulled out the little black box, and Kara screams yes. It was a perfect storybook beginning.
The planning, not so much. Kara isn't a very good wedding planner. And unfortunately, neither am I. Oddly enough, Zack is. He got the flowers, called the caterers, booked the reception, and found time to learn how to waltz.
Kara's eyes began to water, again. I wondered, did she have cold feet? I surely hoped not. We only had an hour left until the ceremony, and there was no turning back. I hoped the guys were doing OK.
It was time for the bride's maids to leave for the ceremony. Kara's sister, best friend, and myself told Kara our last words before departing, which made her even more emotional, and then left.
We lined up at the alter, stood up straight and smiled. Thats all we had to do the rest of the time. I took a peek over at Jack, Zack and Alex. They all looked amazing in their Zack approved tuxedos.
The ceremony went off without a hitch. Luckily, Kara didn't start excessively crying until the 'I Dos', but I think we were all crying by then.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife." said the minister. The crowd went crazy with applause as Rian and Kara kissed for the first time as a married couple. They looked so happy. I glanced over at Jack, who was smiling widely at me already.
After the reception, Rian and Kara were off to Jacksonville for their honeymoon. The guys and I would meet them there in 2 weeks after kicking off the All Time Low tour. I already missed them both, but at the same time, I was extremely happy for them.
"Um, Jack? Where am I going to sleep?" I asked Jack, embarrassed. We were aboard the tour bus and I was a little worried. Had Jack and I gone far enough that we could spend every night together, or was it too soon?
"Whatever works for you." he said, swiftly, yet sweetly kissing me as he hopped off the bus to get more stuff. He was so cute sometimes.
That still didn't answer my question. The bunks were small and tight, but Jack and I were close right? I just decided to see where things would go, and go with the moment.
"Don't worry Grace, my bunks always open!" Alex laughed as lounged on the couch. Ha ha, very funny. Alex hadn't let up on the jokes ever since Elyse dumped him. He was a little thrown off when she said goodbye after he got drunk a little too much. I felt bad, but I was in love with Jack, and Alex should respect that, at least a little bit.
Alex was having trouble with women lately, well it was 3 months ago that he started dating Elyse and she just dumped him 3 weeks ago. I was beginning to get a little worried about him.
Zack... was being Zack. He hadn't really dated since our little triangle back in summer, he hadn't had any mental breakdowns or any similar fiascoes.
The guys were already playing Halo before we were even out of Baltimore. It felt weird not having Kara or Rian around, but I was still excited that they were actually married.
To keep myself occupied, trying to stay away from Halo so I don't make the guys feel bad, I mostly read, slept or hung out with the guys' friends. They knew a lot of people willing to step out of their lives for months on end to chill with a bunch of 20-year-old musicians. I was just glad I was included.
Being on a bus with a bunch of guys was like living in a laundry hamper. They smelt bad, very bad. They ate, everywhere. There was pizza left in the most random places. Though the smells were very strange and the place was a mess, it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my lifetime. It was like a party every 5 minutes.
The guys like to dance. I wondered why there wasn't a stripper pole installed somewhere, but knowing the guys, there was probably one hidden somewhere under all the clothes and alcohol.
"So what are we doing tonight?" I asked as I squeezed myself through the tiny hallway into the back room. It was 5:30 on our 3rd day on the bus. Alex and Zack were watching something on TV that I wasn't paying attention to, and Jack was in the front talking to Rian on the phone.
"Who knows, ssh, my show is on." Alex said, not removing his eyes from the TV. I turned to see him totally gazing at the blond actress on 'The Hills'. This made me laugh to myself.
"Alex, I thought you would be more of a Reba type of guy." I said jokingly. Zack laughed but Alex didn't seem too excited. He unglued his eyes from his 'reality show' to glare at me nervously. I shrugged at him and slouched onto the couch.
The tour schedule was crazy. We were on our way to Virginia, then back up to Philadelphia, to New York, down to Washington DC, and on to North Carolina. All these shows were only a day or 2 apart, so we had to keep driving until we got there. It was insanely hectic keeping on time.
"Hey." Jack said as he walked into our little party.
"Whats up?" I asked.
"Rian and Kara are having a good time in Jacksonville. And we are gonna meet him there and head to our show immediately after that."
"OK. Now shut up, I have to see if Heidi is really going to forgive LC." the entire room exploded with laughter, and Alex hid face in embarrassment.
"You're such a girl sometimes dude."
"I happen to like being a girl!" Alex said accidentally.
The last couple of nights I had been sleeping on the couch in the back room. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do about that. Did I want to sleep with Jack? Of course. Was I ready to sleep with Jack? No idea. Would I be comfortable in those cubbyholes? That I honestly didn't care about.
But that night I made a decision. Once the guys were heading off to bed, instead of being the first loser asleep like the nights before, I waited. It took a while, but once all the guys and their groupies were asleep, I hopped up off the couch and tip-toed into the hallway.
Luckily, Jack's bunk was the most obvious. He had his name written on a paper hanging above his bed. Written next to his name was scribbled, 'piece of shit', most likely by Alex.
I moved the curtain to see my amazing boyfriend completely lost in sleep. I took a moment to just admire him, all the wonderful things he had done. I felt I surge of luckiness filter through my body, giving me goosebumps.
I finally found the power to lift myself up into the cubbyhole. It was almost like he was waiting for me. I fit perfectly into the space, but instead of just laying there, I snuggled my way into his arms. It made me feel foolish for laying out on the couch those nights when I could've been with Jack.
He always had a thing to him that Zack and Alex didn't, some kind of magnetism. I automatically felt better then before. All the jitters about this moment melted away. I felt like I wanted to spend all my time with Jack, and I was beginning to feel like I wanted, but also needed him.
I just lied there, fighting my drowsy eyes. I didn't want to sleep, not just yet. I wanted to savor the moment for as long as possible. But after a while, my eyes fought back and slowly shut themselves. I felt my mind closing in and slowing down. The night had finally closed over me and Jack.