Full Summary: AU. Post-Voldemort. Rated T for language. On the last train ride to Hogwarts, Hermione takes a bet with Ron that she can make it to the Quidditch team and win their first game... as a boy. Harry, as usual, has no idea what's going on. With Ginny pining after Harry and Harry seemingly pining after Ginny, Hermione's stuck in the middle, confused with her emotions towards her raven-haired friend and with what's going on. Loosely (okay, barely) similar to She's The Man.

A/N: Hello! Here's that story I said I'd post. I hope you guys like it! I tried my best to make it humorous... Anyway, hope you like!! ^_^

Chapter One: Hermione Takes The Bet

Friday, 9:30 PM, Gryffindor girl's dormitory

Dear Diary,

How did things turn out this way? It's only the first week of school and already I'm so busy with things. Not to mention that stupid bet. I'm going to kill Ron… But I did provoke it. I can't even tell Harry about it. It's between Ron, Luna and I.

*groan* Why am I so bloody competitive? Why couldn't I just tell him "sod off"? Argh! Okay, relax.

Reminders for tomorrow, Saturday:

1.) Buy broom and Quidditch gear

2.) Clarify what time Quidditch try-outs are with Harry

3.) Find a spell on how to make hair shorter (if not possible, cut hair) and voice deeper.

4.) Practice broom flying

That ought to do it. Oh God, who am I kidding? I can't win this bet! Not to mention how scared I am of heights. How am I supposed to get on the Quidditch team when I can't even fly on a broom? Let alone get on one.

Sweet Merlin, I am doomed! Not to mention if Ron wins, I have to kiss Malfoy. Oh God, the thought alone is making feel like puking.

Maybe I should start from the beginning…


It started in the train to Hogwarts; I was seated in a carriage with Harry and Ron. I was reading my book, Persuasion by Jane Austen. Harry and Ron were, well, being idiots by arguing over some article on a Quidditch magazine.

"The Chudley Cannons should've won this game!" Ron bellowed, his face a bright red.

"No way, Puddlemere United has a right to win!" Harry argued.

I rolled my eyes. Boys. Ugh.

Eventually, their "argument" got a whole lot louder, so I had to step in and…

"Boys! Will you please just sort this issue out else where? I'm losing my hearing." I screamed at them.

Their startled gazes flew to me. "Sorry, Herms. We'll try to be more quiet." Harry apologized, sincerely.

"Don't apologize, Harry!" Ron reprimanded.

See? Harry will always be nicer, sweeter, kinder and more handsome than Ron. If it weren't for him, Ron would probably be a pile of ashes right now.

Anyway, Ron narrowed his eyes and me and I sent a menacing glare back at him.

"If you can't handle our take on our own issues, get out." He sneered.

"Me? You're telling me to get out? I found this carriage first, Ron! You get out!" I yelled at him. The prat.

"We'll be quiet, 'Mione." Harry interjected, eyeing Ron.

Ron sat back with a humph! Then he and Harry returned to reading the Quidditch magazine.

"Noisy git." I mumbled, going back to my book.

"Prissy know-it-all." He murmured back.

"Brainless prick." I said, louder.

"Talentless show-off."

"Ignorant cretin!"

"Troublesome braggart!"

"Guys!" Harry yelled. We immediately kept quiet. "Look, I'm not going to stand in the way of your argument but don't do it when I'm around. I'm going to look for the candy trolley. Any requests?"

"I'm good, mate." Ron replied.

Harry looked at me. "How about you, Hermione? Do you want anything?"

"No thank you, Harry. You know I never get anything from there." I replied, smiling at him.

He nodded then slid the carriage door open and left.

I sighed and went back to reading my book. Ron went back to reading his magazine.

"Catty smartass." He mumbled.

"That's it, Ronald!" I yelled, throwing my book down. "If you don't shut that enormous mouth of yours, I'm going to hex you into next month."

"Brave words from a bookworm! You may be smart but you couldn't even handle my argument with Harry!" He shot back.

"Because you were bloody yelling in my ear! Quidditch isn't even worth yelling for."

"Says the girl who couldn't even last a minute in the real game."

"This is coming from the boy who actually quit the sport."

"I bet you couldn't even last a day in training. Let alone ride a broom."

Something in my head snapped and I wasn't thinking straight. He was so going to get a taste of his own medicine.

"I bet I can. Not only that, but I bet that I can also make the team and win our first match."

Ron smirked evilly. "How about we make this more interesting?"

I leaned closer. "I'm listening."

"You have to try out for the team, make it on and win the first game."

I scoffed. "I know that."

"As a boy."

I nearly choked on my own saliva. "It's on."

"Good. Now, if I win, you have to stay on the team for the rest of the year and kiss Malfoy."

I clearly wasn't paying any attention to what the hell he was saying. All that was going through my head was that I was so going to beat Ron.

"And if I win, you have to buy me any book I want from Flourish and Blot's and purposely get detention in Potions."

"Another thing, you can't tell anybody. And I mean anybody."

"That's not fair! How about I tell one person?"

"Fine. But I choose the person."

"Go ahead."

"Hmm… I choose…" He trailed off.

I eyed him suspiciously.

"Luna!" He exclaimed, brightly.

I thought that was fine at first. I mean, it's just Luna, after all. But little did I know that she was just as clueless as I was about Quidditch.

"Fine. I'm okay with that." I huffed.

"So it's settled then?"

"Hell, yeah!"

Then we heard footsteps outside. Harry was returning. A while later, Harry slid the carriage door open and Ron and I were leaning back against our seats, reading once again.

"Well, I'm glad you settled it." Harry said, smiling at me. Suddenly, Ron stood up.

"I'm going to get a chocolate frog." He announced, sliding the door open.

"But I just—" Slam! Ron shut the door before Harry could finish. I kept my book and scooted a bit to the side. Harry sat down beside me. "What's his problem?"

I laughed lightly. "He's alright but he'll be better once we get to Hogwarts."

Harry and I lapsed into an uncomfortable silence. Soon, Harry emptied his pockets and on his lap were dozens of colorful candies.

He began picking around them. Actually, more like just shoving them around. Something was up.

"Harry? Is something wrong?" I asked, concerned.

He looked at me. "Um… Hermione, do you like Ron?" He asked, nervously.

"Well, we are friends, isn't that a bit needed?" I said, smiling.

"No, like, I don't know, like like him, you know?"

I felt my jaw go slack and my cheeks redden. "No, of course not! W-Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?"

"It's just that you and Ron are pretty close and he seems like he's—"

"Into Luna." I finished. He looked at me, shocked. I smiled. "He's into Luna. I'm pretty sure of it."


I nudged him with my elbow. "Relieved?" I joked.

He grinned back at me. "A bit."

I smiled. Then something caught my attention. I spotted a familiar golden trinket on his lap.

"Hey, can I have a chocolate coin?" I asked, peering over at it.

"Sure." He said, picking it out of the pile. He handed it to me.

I ate it happily. Ron hadn't returned even when the train stopped at Hogwarts. But then again, we hadn't really noticed until we finally got off.

"Hey, Ron never returned, did he?" Harry asked as we left our carriage, bags in hand.

"Er, no. I don't think so." I stammered.

"I wonder where he could be." Harry wondered out loud.

A while later, right before we were about to get off, I spotted a bright patch of red hair and beside it was a head with light blonde hair.

"Hey! There he is, Harry!" I exclaimed, pointing at Ron's bright head of hair.

"Oh, yeah! I see him! Hey, is that Luna with him?" He asked, peering closer.

I smiled. "Yes, it is. Figured he'd go to Luna." I said, smugly.

"Oh, did you? Well, then Miss Smarty Pants, let's get off the train."


After dinner, we were sitting in the Common Room, the three of us. Harry was occupying the entire couch with his lanky body and his legs hanging over the edge. I was sitting on an armchair beside him, my legs neatly folded underneath me and I was leaning on the arm, reading my book. Ron was seated on the floor, in front of the table, playing chess with himself.

"Bloody hell! I lost!" Ron exclaimed, annoyed.

I looked over at him and so did Harry. "Isn't that supposed to mean that you won?" I asked.

A face of shock came over him. "Oh yeah." He murmured, in a daze.

I rolled my eyes and Harry chuckled. When the clock struck nine, I closed my book and stood up. "I'm off to bed, boys. Don't stay up too late, alright?" I said, yawning.

"Yeah, 'night, Herms." Ron said, putting his pawn forward and destroying the bishop.

"Good night, Hermione. Sweet dreams." Harry said, looking at me and smiling. I smiled back at him.

"You too, Harry."

Then I climbed up the steps to my dormitory and soon, I lid down on my bed and fell asleep.


The next day, during breakfast, I sat next to Harry. I knew what I had to do. I had to ask about the Quidditch try-outs. I had to put my plan into action or else everything would fall apart and I was going to lose.

"Harry?" I asked, taking a roll and dropping it onto my plate.

"Hmm?" He asked, sipping from his pumpkin juice.

"Um, when are Quidditch try-outs?" I asked, biting my lower lip.

He looked at me as if I had grown an extra head. "Why?"

"Oh, um, no reason. None at all. I'm just curious, is all. Yes, that's it. So, when are they?"

"I think next week or the week after that." He replied, looking unsure.

"Oh, thanks."

"Why the sudden interest? You thinking of trying out?"

"What? Oh, no. Just wondering, really."

Harry shrugged. "If you say so."

He was so catching on. I had to change the topic. Um, what was going on in his life?

"So, how's Ginny?" I asked.

Harry looked at me skeptically. "Ginny? How the hell would I know?"

"What?" I was confused.

"She's dating Dean and I'm single. What are you babbling about?"

"Oh God, forget it. I'll see you later." I was flushing. And yet, I didn't even know why. It was just Harry. Just a simple misunderstanding.

But how come the way my heart was thumping against my chest was telling anything was "just" about Harry right now?

"Hermione, are you alright?" He asked, behind me. My feet stopped walking. I felt time stop and the world stop turning.

"Yes, I'm fine. Is there a trip to Hogsmeade this week?"

"I-I think so."


Then I rushed out of the Great Hall.

Urgh. I felt like I was going to vomit and I had no idea why.


Luna managed to steal Ron's broom Thursday. We snuck out that night. And she was telling me that I had to learn how to fly sooner or later.

I had told her Tuesday about the bet and she was all for it. Anyway, it was last night to be exact when I tried to fly on a broom. Ah! I feel sick just thinking about it.

When we went out into the Quidditch pitch, Luna gave me Ron's broom.

"Are you ready, Hermione?" She asked, calmly.

I nodded. "I guess."

"Okay, now, get on the broom and kick off the ground and just let the broom handle everything else."

I nodded and got on the broom. I immediately felt rigid and my hands went cold.

"Kick off the ground!" Luna cheered.

I nodded once more. Then I steadied myself and pushed off the ground.

Unfortunately for me, I flew higher than expected so when I opened my eyes, I freaked out because I was twenty feet off the ground. Then the broom went out of control and tossed me around.

In the end, I nearly fell off the broom, which was still having a seizure in the air. When I finally fell off, I landed on Luna; she is rather soft for someone so skinny.

"Oh my God, Luna! I'm so sorry!" I apologized, getting up.

She sat up and dusted the dirt off her clothes. "Oh it's quite alright. I've been in worse situations." She said, giggling.

I stared at her incredulously. I just landed on her and she was giggling. How on earth could she giggle?

"Um, right. Anyway, let's go back. I'm a bit tired." I said, faking a yawn.

She nodded then we headed back for the castle.


So you see, diary, my life has turned around for the worse. I hate it! Absolutely hate it! Oh sweet Merlin, I'm going to faint. Tomorrow, I'll have to step up my game and try my best.

There is no way I'm going to lose to Ron!


A/N: That's all for now! I would really like to know what you think so please review!