Hey look! I'm posting something new! And is not Spark. Which actually would be updated today but I am currently on what my family has deemed the 'Overflow Laptop' which has absolutely none of my files on it. I typed all of this up in the Document Manager. With a sticky keyboard. Yup.
So I will update Spark eventually, by the way. As soon as I get Ethan Frome and gender relationships out of my head. Well I have like 4 spare chapters written up. So.
This is all dialogue! And it feels like spring today which is a truly lovely feeling, even though it also feels like it is going to pour. Although I haven't been outside since 10 AM. Things could have changed since then. (It's so funny that today it's really warm and less then a week ago I had a snow day. I haven't had a snow day since 2004.)
So enjoy the story! ...yeah.
"Why are you sniffing the air? It's sort of... well, do you have a cold or are you on drugs? Either way I should take you to the hospital."
"Can you not tell that spring is in the air?"
"That's why you're sniffing the air happily?"
"You know, I'd really more say that spring is underfoot, if you know what I mean."
"Are you referring to all of this fine mud we are splattered in?"
"Yes, I am."
"Ah. You know, it's really not that bad."
"Yeah; it's a sign of growing things! Green shoots! Tulips and crocuses!"
"And sakura blossoms. I hate my name."
"That's a bit teenage angst-y of you, Sakura-chan."
"I'm nineteen, Kakahsi- I'm allowed. I have one more year left of legitimate angst."
"Um... sure. Or you could be cheerful today?"
"Why should I be cheerful? It's the beginning of March. It's muddy and damp because we had a spring feeling thunderstorm. I have a headache. Naruto woke me up at 5 AM to yell at me and wave random limbs around wildly for some reason that I'm still not even sure of because I was so drunk last night."
"Should I tell you what happened last night then?"
"Would it explain why Naruto was running around gaping like a fish with bug eyes-"
"-I like your animal metaphors-"
"-thank you. Would it explain why Naruto was looking like that, running around and screaming 'HE'S OLD! OH MY GOD HE'S SO FREAKING OLD! and flapping his arms like a chicken?"
"More animals, I see."
"Yup. Would it, Kakashi?"
"...quite possibly. It might also explain the bruise swelling up my eye."
"Oh yes, I had noticed that. I kind of just assumed that you'd walked into a low-hanging tree branch or something."
"It's possible. But not true. This time. Last week, however, it was true."
"I know. I saw you do it last week. I also have a picture for posterity."
"And blackmail, right, Sakura-chan?"
"Of course. Although seriously, Kakashi, I have more than enough blackmail material on you. And Sasuke. And Sai. And especially Naruto. Especially Naruto."
"I'm going to ignore that evil glint in your otherwise innocent, happy, yet surprisingly cynical and sarcastic eyes, aren't I?"
"...yes. It would be wise. Now. What happened last night?"
"I was drunk."
"Everyone was drunk. Except for Neji. But he doesn't count. Because I think he is physically capable of metabolizing alcohol at a faster rate than us mere humans, perhaps more on par with robots."
"Er. Right. Anyways. I was drunk and you were drunk. And everyone else except for Neji."
"What were we celebrating again, Kaka-san?"
"'I quite honestly don't know."
"I see. Continue on."
"Okay then. So, Naruto started a game of strip poker-"
"-that little horny bastard-"
"-which I distinctly remember you not participating in. Nor did I. In fact, it was comprised of Lee, Hinata, Anko, Naruto, and Sasuke. And Ibiki."
"Mentally scarring moment. Give me a second."
"I'm telling you a story here. So we were really drunk at the bar. I believe there were shots involved, as always happens when ninja get together. Also Tsunade was there and she'd brought some really good sake."
"I actually do remember that. I should break into her private stash more often."
"Share your spoils with me please?"
"Maybe if you're good."
"Sakura.... so basically what happened is that we ending up- well, there's no delicate way to say this."
"I know that we didn't have sex."
"Right, super-powered medic nin."
"ANBU squad leader and medic nin."
"Well your medic nin sensory super powers are what I was referring to in this particular case, not your ANBU super powers."
"We ended up making out in the telephone booth at the back of the bar until Naruto and Hinata came upon us and Hinata told us to get the hell out because it was finally her turn."
"Um, yea, so- that's what happened."
"How come you can remember it and I can't? I'm assuming that we drank roughly the same amount, yes?"
"We did. Remember, I'm bigger than you and weigh more plus more experience?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad, Kakashi."
"Do you want to punch me?"
"Actually no. I do want to punch Naruto but that's besides the point."
"Then why is your face all wrinkly?"
"I just wish that I could remember what it was like..."