Okay, so some readers of my other story might let out a small sigh because this is not an update for it, but instead a new story. I'm not giving up on my other fanfic, I intend to have an update soon, I'm just suffering from serious writer's block. The stress of college is creeping up, which has made my brain completely lose it.
This story came to me and I wanted to get it out. Well it didn't necessarily come to me, I just happen to be a huge Sarah Dessen fan and wanted to incorporate that into this. Sarah can write teen romance like no other, at least in my opinion. If you haven't read her books, run to a book store and grab it all, she is fantastic.
This is definitely Twilight (obviously), but with a mix of the books 'The Truth about Forever,' and 'Just Listen,' by the amazing (there are no words to describe the love I have for her) Sarah Dessen. If you haven't read those, first of all you should, and second of all you should read this too :).
Description: All human. Bella Swan was a normal and somewhat popular girl until an incident led her to start her senior year as an outcast. She is forced to sit alone at the reject table with Edward Cullen, a kid with a reputation and no friends. What will she learn about him and about herself?
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or the characters. Also anything that has been created by Sarah Dessen.
* * *
Google can do a lot for a person. Millions and millions of people spend time everyday searching the most random things, places, and people. Example one, I found that I have Coulrophobia, a fear of clowns, which is probably a really uninteresting fact, although it is a common fear, another fact I picked up. Thank you, Google. It doesn't matter the color of your skin, your sexuality, or your age—everybody Googles.
I am an avid Googler, which I'm pretty sure is not an actual word, but it would be pretty damn ironic of me to find out through the site. All this isn't relevant though, what I'm getting to is that I have spent a lot of time on the computer this past summer, and I mean a lot. Most teenagers spent their time lounging by the local pool, or getting wasted and passing out at the local Wal-Mart parking lot, at least I saw Tyler Crowley there doing that the other night.
If you search the word Outcast, 7,280,000 things can be found. Definitions, clothing, and a hip hop duo are just some of the results. The definition was really all that I was looking for, but there are a few Outkast songs that I enjoyed. Anyways an outcast is somebody who is rejected by society or home, that 'somebody' meaning Bella Swan.
I was not always an outcast, I used to run with what could be called the in crowd. Then there was an incident at the end of junior year that led me to where I am today, by myself. In one night I had lost my best friend, the rest of my friends, and myself.
Now as summer is about to come to a close, I would have to start my senior year of high school as a complete nobody. At some point in the future I would have to face people, and especially one person, that I just did not want to. Life can be somewhat peaceful in the confined white four walls of my bedroom, but in the real world things are different.
On the outside I have created the perfect 'I'm alright' look, seeing as though I have had time on my hands to perfect it. It involved keeping my eyes straight ahead, my shoulders back, and walk with dignity—without tripping. Two of the three would at least be easy to achieve.
My parents have been convinced by the look, they don't know anything is wrong. Even after that night, I was able to not become a sobbing mess and go on with my life. Renee and Charlie still even think I have friends, which is because I would drive around for hours every so often and then go home to tell them I was with Jess, Lauren, or anybody else that I could think of.
"So Bella," my mom said at dinner. "You all ready for your senior year?"
"Yeah." I said, trying to sound somewhat enthusiastic.
We weren't really a big talking family, at least me and my dad weren't. Charlie and I were simple people, if you have nothing good or bad to say just be quiet, which was our saying. The conversations were handled by my mom mostly, with a nod here and there from me, sometimes I would go crazy and throw out a—gasp, yes or no. Renee does not care though, she just keeps going on and on about anything or everything.
"I remember when you used to sit on the couch, coloring in your little Barney coloring book that you would keep in that little backpack you loved." She said, letting out a sad sigh. "It seems like just…yesterday."
"It was yesterday…" Charlie said with a smirk.
"Oh shush!" I said, sticking out my tongue.
"I am serious," he snorted. "When I came home from work you were sitting out there, paper and crayons in hand."
"First off, it was a colored pencil." I clarified. "Secondly, I was doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper and couldn't find a pen." Which reminded me that I had to finish that later.
"Was Barney a word?" He joked.
"No, but retirement home was." I smiled.
"What? You aren't gonna take care of me when I'm old and senile?" He fake pouted. I always teased Charlie about sticking him in a retirement community when he picked on me. It worked though.
"Not a chance." I said with a laugh, it was moments like this that made my life seem back to normal, but they were just short moments that passed with time.
I have a good relationship with my parents, even if we don't talk about everything—or anything. After that night, telling anyone would be bad, but if my parents knew all hell would break loose. The rumors were bad enough to deal with, I didn't need them to enhance the humility. It just made everything easier to act like myself, or my old self.
* * *
Jessica Stanley was twenty feet away from my car. In my head I have pictured this moment a thousand times, happening a million different ways, all kinds of emotions flowing through my body, the truth was—I was not prepared at all.
I sat there in my red truck trying to map out my next move. There was nowhere to go, I didn't have any friends left. I sat there, looking out my window at Jessica and her little posse of friends, who were once my friends. Jess looked different, her hair was a little longer, and she was definitely wearing more make-up and less clothing then the last time I saw her.
"Here it goes…" I said to myself, while grabbing my bag and opening the door to my car. I stepped out and already had the feeling of being watched, and I knew exactly who it was. When I turned my head, my suspicions were correct, Jess was looking straight at me. Maybe she is past everything, it's been a while, people change. Then her eyes narrowed and she yelled, "Take a picture bitch." With that my year had officially begun…
My day was going by in a slow, quiet blur. No one spoke to me, just of me—in whispers. Everyone heard, it was obvious, I mean I couldn't expect a town like Forks to not gossip. If it weren't about me, I would find it pretty juicy stuff.
It was lunch, an hour of school that I was dreading almost as much as gym. It was kind of like that scene in Mean Girls where there were all those different cliques of people at tables and Lindsay Lohan walks in and then gets to sit with the cool girls. Okay, so it's nothing like that since no one wants me at their table and I won't even go into detail on how I and Lindsay Lohan are different.
I had two options. Option one: eat by myself in the girl's bathroom. Option two: sit at the reject table with Edward Cullen.
I let out a frustrated sigh. The bathroom is just embarrassing and unsanitary, but I did not want to sit with Edward. He was bad news, I don't prejudge people, but I did see him beat the shit out of Mike Newton last year and then just walk away like nothing had happened. He spent most of his time suspended, and I'm pretty sure he got arrested last year, those were the rumors at least.
No one has ever sat at Edward Cullen's table, not even his own siblings. This thought made me unbelievably nervous, but I found myself walking towards the table anyways. He was sitting there, playing with the ipod that he always seemed to have attached to him. I got to the table, hesitantly sitting in the seat farthest from him. He didn't move at all, looking as if he had no clue anyone had sat down with him.
All that stressing out and it wasn't even a big deal to him, or even me anymore. I got out the turkey sandwich that I made earlier, and took a bite. This gave me a chance to finally look around the cafeteria, I regretted that instantly—since everyone was looking over at me. Even the lunch ladies could not help but take a quick glance. Jess, Lauren, and all her little friends were pointing and laughing. If Edward had noticed this, it didn't seem to bother him at all. I just put on a brave face, deciding to just forget about all of this.
I had finished my lunch thinking that it would be time to leave, but when I looked at my watch there still was a good twenty minutes left. I spent the time occasionally lifting my head to catch quick glances at Edward from the corner of my eye, but he remained the same, only sometimes moving to change the song on his ipod. Right before the bell was going to ring, Jess and her little group of friends came walking near me, making my body tense up. "Look everybody…" Jess smirked at me. "Bella is making friends so fast. That's what you get for being such a whore." They all laughed and walked out of the cafeteria.
My face instantly turned red, and the sandwich I ate felt like cement in my stomach. When I looked up at Edward he was starring right back at me, which made me look away instantly. A minute later the bell rang, when I looked back up he was gone. Biology was next, which wasn't a horrible class, science has always been a good subject for me.
When I got to the room, it said 'find out who you're sitting with' on the board, and there was a list of people who were paired up on the wall. I went over and found my name, right next to it was Edward Cullen. Never in my life have I talked to him before, and now I am near him, twice today. He was sitting at the back lab bench, I walked over and took the empty seat.
I kept my eyes on the front of the room, not wanting to look into his eyes again. They were nice from what I had seen earlier, very green, and they weren't completely filled with hate towards me like other people in this school. I could tell he was listening to his ipod still by the way he was tapping his fingers in front of him like he was doing at lunch. I was wondering what he was listening to, my guess was hard metal or rap.
"Welcome class…" Mr. Banner said from the front of the room. "This year is going to be a good one, I can feel it."
Mr. Banner was one of those really enthusiastic people, he had the kind of optimism about life that I would kill to have—or kill myself if I had. He was my teacher last year as well, and I know first hand he can get old very quickly. This year was bound to be harder since this is the Advanced Biology class, which made me wonder how somebody like Edward Cullen could get into it.
"This year is a big one for all of you, graduation!" He said, causing some kids in the class to cheer like losers, although I was excited to get out of here. "It can be a tough and stressful year for kids, which is why I thought partners would be such a great idea to have. You will be working very closely with yours all year." Edward's fingers stopped tapping for a second, probably as unhappy as I was about having to work with him. After a second, the tapping started up again. "Today I will pass out a books, the new books I ordered though haven't come in yet so you are going to have to share just for today. Read the introduction of Biology, silently." Mr. Banner said, passing out a book to each of us.
When I got the book, I set it in-between us and turned it to the correct page. I started reading, which was uncomfortable because I had to tilt my head a certain way to be able to read it without getting too close to Edward. Once I finished reading the first two pages there was an awkwardness of not knowing when to turn it. It was hard to tell if he was even reading the book in the first place since he was still listening to his damn music.
After five minutes I figured he must be done, if not then I didn't even care anymore. I reached to turn the page, my hand bumping into Edward's, who was also going to do the same thing—we pulled away quickly. My face was probably a shade of red, my dad tells me that the wind could make me blush because it happens so often.
"Sorry…" he mumbled, and then turned the page for us.
I didn't say anything back, he had been going to school with me as long as I can remember and never once have I heard him speak. A part of me did not even know that it was capable. Luckily the introduction chapter was extremely short and neither of us would have to change the page again.
"Okay there is about ten minutes left of class, I'll let you sit and talk to your pals…quietly though." Mr. Banner said when everyone was done reading.
It was obvious that Edward and I would not begin a fantastic conversation about our summer vacation so I just sat there. I let out a small sigh, watching the clock slowly move second by second. I had a feeling Edward was looking at me, when I took a quick glance his way, I was right. Why was he starring at me, did he think that I was easy or something at that he might have a chance?
When the bell rang, I sprang out of my seat and made my way to gym. That class went by slowly, thank god it was the first day which meant I didn't have to change. The last bell finally rang, concluding the longest day of my life.
I got into my car, starting it up, it was probably the loudest car in the parking lot—but I loved it. I took one last look around the parking lot, spotting Edward who was talking to a tiny girl with short black hair. It was Alice Cullen, I didn't know her personally, but she has been around at parties that I would go to, usually with her boyfriend Jasper.
Edward was actually smiling at her, it was hard to believe that they were related. Alice was a popular junior and seemed like a nice person, definitely not like Edward. Then there was Emmett Cullen who was still a senior because he stayed back one year, he was really popular, but then again being star of the football team can do that for you. Neither of them were like their brother, which made me wonder how he got to be the way he was.
I was starring like a total creeper. The way he would smile at his little sister, it was a somewhat crooked smile. It was nice though, made his whole face a lot brighter. He had good features, his hair was one of them, it was kind of all over the place but it was a bronze color that no one else in school had. Edward was also good looking, very good looking actually. If he didn't have such a bad reputation he might have been able to make friends here, but I'm the last person to be talking about reputations and friends.
He said goodbye to his sister who was walking over to Jasper, him and Edward did that nod thing that guys do. Opening the car door, he took one last look around the parking lot, and that's when our eyes met. His expression was unreadable, probably wondering if I was stalking him or something. After a second he looked away, got in his car and was gone.
I put my car in reverse and headed home, it took awhile because my heart was pounding for some reason. What are the chances of a seventeen year old of having a heart attack? I wondered this the entire drive, my mom's car was in the driveway which meant I had to put on a happy expression.
"Bella…" My mom called when I reluctantly entered the house. "How was your day?" She said, appearing in the living room.
"It was great." Lie one.
"Did you talk to Jess and all your friends?" She said with a smile.
"Yeah, of course." Lie two.
"I'm glad, senior year is going to be the best. I remember just spending time with all of my best friends, going on road trips and just having the greatest time. You are going to have the time of your life." She said, giving me a hug, and then going back into the kitchen.
A part of me felt guilty for not telling her and my dad what had happened, but it just seemed easier for me to keep it in. I was not good with change, especially with the information I had, it could change everything. I guess I would just have to keep the lies coming, and everything would be fine. It won't be easy faking the best year of my life, but it was worth a shot.