A New Addition: The Telling of Bella's Pregnancy Through Edward's Eyes
I'm hoping you won't wake an notice my absence, but,
if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just
gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and
I'll be here when you wake again. I love you.
The windows were open and the wind was blowing in the coolness of the air as I entered the house. It had been a while since I'd gone hunting and there were a variety of animals on the mainland. I didn't have the heart to wake Bella before I'd left so I left a note on the pillow beside her before I left instead. The scent of freesia mixed with stale food painted the area, making Bella easy to find. How could I forget that her body temperature was different from mine? The deliberation that I needed to be with her at all times hadn't occurred to me because I was simply overwhelmed with thirst. She must have been burning up from the heat.
I found Bella lying on the couch in the TV room asleep. The blue light from the television screen illuminated over her body bringing out every detail of her restful face. She was so amazingly beautiful when she slept, although she's been sleeping heavier and longer than usual. More than likely that was due to all of the activities I'd planned for us on a daily basis. Swiftly, I wrapped myself under her body being careful not to wake her. She didn't budge once.
Small beads of sweat formed over her arms, cheeks, and eyelids. I lightly caressed the back of my fingers over her forehead. She was warmer than usual, almost feverish. A small moan slipped from Bella's lips. I watched as her lips slowly parted, expecting her to say something silly from a dream she usually had. Instead, she shifted her head from her left cheek to her right, moaning once more before resting it on my chest.
While waiting for her to cool down, I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift through moments we'd shared so far on the island. We wandered through the trails of the jungle splendid with tropical flowers and stunning waterfalls. I'd shown her the canopy of colorful parrots, which she'd taught to say our names—they echoed throughout the entire jungle that day, filling me with glee. Then there was the time she swam with the porpoises, laughing when they tickled her skin. I smiled at that one.
But mostly I adored when we would watch the sunset over the cove. Her eyes would be focused on the many hues of the sun and my eyes focused on her. I'd seen the sunset thousands of times therefore I didn't need to relish in its beauty. It was no match for exquisiteness my wife held. Surely that was the only time that I could actually touch Bella without her badgering me about making love. She dazzled me most when she wasn't putting me in a catch-22, at least when I assumed it to be an indubitable complication. Not now.
Of course the actual lovemaking was my most favorable memory of them all. Bella had been right: practice does make perfect. And it was indeed perfect in every way. My mind drifted deeper into subconsciousness. She'd attacked me with so much passion, pleaded with such intensity that I could no longer refuse her requests. I no longer had the strength to. My defenses were broken down and I caved into the temptations.
Shredding her nightgown, I pulled her on top of me and with one swift forceful thrust, two halves connected into a whole. She was a part of me, one union as our bodies moved rhythmically into a synchronized symphony. From the way she held onto me for dear life to the loud moaning in my ears I literally drowned in the sensations, welding her body into mine for an unforgettable experience. The heat from her body, the moistness of her femininity, the way it wrapped around my entire being......
Bella's body suddenly shuddered. Her heartbeat lightly changed and her slow breathing began to speed.
She was awake.
I gathered my thoughts back to the present and waited for her eyes to open. They fluttered, and then slowly opened. I put my hand or her forehead and noticed that it was clammier than covered in sweat. Again, I kicked myself in the ass for leaving her here without me.
"Good morning, beautiful." I smiled down at her.
Bella groaned her reply.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think about how hot it would be with me gone. I'll make sure to have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."
That's when I noticed her distorted face.
"Excuse me!" Before I could think to ask her what was wrong, Bella shot straight from my arms into the direction of the bathroom with her hands clamping her mouth.
"Bella?" I got to her right before she sank to her knees and put her head directly in the toilet. I wanted to touch her as I listened to the bile viciously eliminating itself from her body but figured it wouldn't make the situation any better. So I waited. It seemed like forever instead of the five minutes it took for her to finally make her way up from the floor.
"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, but she didn't answer me right away.
Not able to take being away from her any longer, I wrapped my arms around her waist and Bella rested her head on my chest. I swept the once again sweaty hair from her face and listened to her already fast heartbeat gradually slow down.
"Damn rancid chicken," she moaned.
"Are you alright?" It sounded more like a plea than a question.
"Fine. Its just food poisoning."
Bella's been eating way more food than her normal routine. At home, she would take time to chew her food like it was a cautious habit. Lately she's been devouring the whole fridge, almost to the point where it became sickening to watch. Part of it was my fault for over-feeding her. Every time I'd put food on her plate Bella would sweep it up that much quicker. One time she even fell asleep over the countertop with her face only a few inches from her plate. And the eggs….my god the eggs. They gave off such a pungent odor when cooked that I settled for every recipe on the Food Network to cover up the smell. Omelettes seemed to work best. For as long as I live, I never want to see another chicken egg again.
Several empty egg cartons almost spilled over the garbage can. I made a mental note to empty them later.
"You don't need to see this. go away." Bella pulled away from my grip to rinse her mouth in the sink.
"Not likely, Bella." I put my hand on her back, trying to comfort her. Instead she pushed me back, or at least made a feeble attempt to do so. But I wasn't going anywhere while she was in this condition.
"Go away," she tried to yell, but it only sounded like somebody lying on her deathbed.
Bella was always trying to be so strong in her weakest state. My girl just didn't know when to give up the bravado facade and throw in the towel. For someone whose so headstrong, Bella's fragile human body could never compete with it. In those cases, I stepped in and became that ounce of strength that she needed.
This was one of those times. As I normally did when I thought she was being completely absurd, I ignored her request and swept her from her feet. Instead of putting up of fight this time, she accepted my chivalry as I carried her to the bed.
When she was settled in I lied down beside her, staring into her eyes, which were drooping with exhaustion despite the fact that she'd slept ten hours on and off the previous day.
"Food poisoning?" I was thinking to myself, but hadn't realized I said it aloud until Bella responded.
"Yeah...I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out." She yawned. "But I ate a few bites first."
Food poisoning was highly unlikely, especially since I made a moot point that all the food stored for Bella was extremely fresh. She probably didn't cook it all the way through, though it's not like Bella to make a mistake in the kitchen. I'm actually positive that I've never witnessed her burn anything she cooked regardless of my inability to consume human food.
"How do you feel now?" I put a hand to her forehead. She was still warm but not as much.
"Pretty normal." She even forced a smile. "A little hungry, actually."
I put my hand up in a cautious manner."Whoa. Lets not rush it, love. Let me get you a glass of water first."
She gave me a smug look.
"Bella, do you want to have a repeat of what you just went through in the bathroom?"
"Well, no," she grimaced as she recalled the past few minutes. "but…I'm really hungry."
"And I promise to feed you after you hold down this glass of water."
"Wha--when did you.....never mind. I already know." Apparently, she hadn't seen me leave the room to get the water for her. She sat up and attempted to chug down the whole glass.
"Bella, slow down before you make yourself sick again."
"I'm fine." she choked on her last sip and sat the now half empty glass on the nightstand.
"Maybe we should stay in for a day or two. Take a break from all the outdoor extracurricular activities. God knows I've kept you quite busy since we've been here. It's no wonder you're tired all the time."
"Well," she chuckled, "we have been quite busy. But I'm pretty sure we've been just as preoccupied with the indoor activities, too."
I rolled my eyes. "Out of all the things to think about while you're ill, that's the very first thing that goes through your head. You really do have a one track mind."
"Actually, I was only pointing out that there are similarities between these 'extracurricular activities…." She teased.
"Here we go....."
"No, think about it, Edward. Both outdoor and indoor activities lead to the same results. They require lots of energy, leave me physically tired and breathless—"
To avoid the direction that conversation was headed, I whisked Bella in my arms and headed out of the blue room.
"Where are you taking me?" she asked.
"To get some fresh air." I said. "Its obvious the heat in here is messing with your ability to think clearly."
When Bella didn't get sick again I went into the kitchen and cooked her breakfast as promised. I'd made her a well portion of eggs. As she sat down at the table, I fixed my eyes on her to watch her eating habits. I didn't want to monitor her so openly, but I needed to ensure she wasn't going to scarf down her plate as fast as she did the water.
"You know," she took in a forkful of eggs. "you don't have to watch over me, Edward. I'm fine. See?"
Bella swallowed the eggs, sticking her tongue out her wide open mouth. I rolled my eyes at her childlike display.
"Just eat, Bella." I smirked in her favor, admiring the delicate flush her cheeks gave off when I did it.
Again, she complimented me on my cooking skills and we talked. I was excited about her decision to attend Dartmouth with me and we discussed our plans for the future. After Bella finished her plate, I sat it in the sink and continued to the TV room with Bella. She was still tired. I used the remote to click on the television and flipped to CNN. We'd been here two weeks without live television: it was time to find out what was going on in the 'real' world.
Bella lounged across my lap with her head resting on my legs and indulged in the news as well. A long while passed and, when it seemed nothing had changed drastically in society, she shifted her body to face me. I nestled her into my arms and she positioned herself to kiss me.
Then that look of distortion returned to her face. I knew what was about to happen.
Bella swiftly disconnected from me, her hands covering her mouth. The illness surfaced quicker this time for Bella didn't make a beeline towards the bathroom. Instead she ended up in the kitchen sink. I'd only heard her spew out the contents of her stomach beforehand in the bathroom. Holding her hair back now, seeing it firsthand was rather unpleasant. What was even more disturbing was the fact that I now knew there was nothing I could do about it. I turned on the faucet so Bella could rinse her mouth.
"Bella, we should go to Rio to see a doctor," there was no hiding the excessive anxiousness in my voice. This was a cause for deep concern.
Bella wiped the water from her mouth. She thought something, then frowned and shook her head. She answered before I could ask what she was thinking.
"No, I'll be fine after I brush my teeth." A look of embarrassment washed over her face. She was ashamed to be seen like this in front of me. Her eyes dropped from mine and she rushed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I convinced myself to give her a human moment while I waited for her a few feet from the door. My head fell back on the wall and I closed my eyes in frustration. There was no need for her to feel that way around me. First with pushing me away and second with embarrassment by actions she couldn't control. If she could trust me with her life, her love, and her body, then she should trust me with her insecurities as well.
Time stretched by since Bella had gone in the bathroom. It should not have taken her that long to brush her teeth and the faucet water stopped running a while ago. Afterwards, I heard her rummaging through what sounded like her suitcase. She was obviously searching for something. Then she paused. Suddenly everything went quiet. She wasn't moving at all but the sound of her heartbeat continued to thump unevenly. Sickening myself with worry, I loudly knocked on the door. Bella's heartbeat sped up and whatever was she must have been holding dropped with a small thud back into the suitcase.
I'd startled her. I cracked the door open a few inches, sticking my ear through the small opening.
"Is everything okay? Are you well?" I asked trying to fervently mask the concern in my voice. "Did you get sick again?"
"Yes and no."
Her response bewildered me. What exactly did she mean by yes and no? Did I actually detect the squelch in her tone or had I imagined it? My brows furrowed in confusion. Anticipating any further explanation while being apart from her struck a need in me to be by Bella's side. I couldn't take the space between us anymore.
"Bella, can I please come in?" My concealed distress was now evident.
I kept my eyes locked on Bella as I pushed the door further open and stepped inside. I knew immediately something was wrong. Bella's eyes were on mine but she wasn't looking at me. She blankly stared through me, an act I envisioned impossibly intolerable for her. I began to panic. Her facial expression switched between shock, confusion, and fear— she never settled on just one. I sat on the tile floor next to her suitcase, legs crossed, and placed my hand on her forehead to check for any signs of a fever. There was no change in her temperature.
However, Bella's ordinary reaction to my cold touch didn't register with typical behavior of her skin. No Goosebumps appeared on her arms; she didn't even shudder. But her eyes finally shifted to my own.
"Bella, what's wrong?"
"How many days has it been since the wedding?" her hushed words alarmed me. She didn't need to whisper when we were the only two people in the house. So I quickly replied.
"Seventeen." Not that it mattered to me. "Bella, what is it?"
Was she ready to go home so soon? I observed her moving lips but no sound emanated from them. The shape of her mouth hadn't formed any visible words, making it hard for me to distinguish what she was trying to figure out. Before I could ask out of annoyance Bella's finger shot up, beckoning me for patience. She apparently was prepared for my interruption.
I watched in agony as her silence ripped through for several minutes. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.....she was counting. Why was she counting? I'd just told her how many days we've been here. She couldn't have forgotten that quickly: the number of days was the same as the age I was frozen. By then I had begun to grow wary of her silence. Not being able to read her mind agitated the hell out of me. My mind was running a mile a minute as I watched her murmur those same numbers repeatedly before coming to a halt. Just as I was preparing for her to tell me what was going on, she started counting all over again.
I'd had enough.
"Bella!" I shouted, breaking her from her trance. "What are you doing? I'm losing my mind over here! Why are you counting like crazy?"
I saw the small bobble in her throat as Bella tried to swallow yet couldn't. She looked as if she was going to get sick again. Her left hand dropped into the suitcase scattering franticly for a certain object. I scratched my head at her silly antics. Finding it, she pulled the object out and held them up. Tampax regular tampons, 18 count, I'd read.
I shook my hand in confusion as if I was missing some point she was trying to make. She'd started her menstrual cycle, which is known for making weird changes in women's bodies.
"What? You're not trying to pass this off as PMS, are you?" Surely she couldn't think I was going to believe that her period was the reason for her terrible illness. Bella's periods were never this bad before.
"No," she stated nervously. "Edward, I'm trying to say that my period is five days late."
Again, I was lost. Of course Bella had never been out of the country before so she probably was aware of certain facts. Different continent, different climates, it can change the normal cycle habits. I threw my hands up in defeat. She had to break it down so I could catch up.
"So...?" I threw my hands up, getting quite angry with this game she was playing.
"So..." she swallowed hard before replying. " I don't think this is food poisoning."
Certainly I knew that much to be true. Still, we didn't know what was wrong with her. I began to decipher the changes Bella has displayed since we've been here. Food, sleep, and now pools of vomit. Calculate it in that order and one would come to the conclusion that she was.....
No...no, no. That is impossible. That can't happen. The phrase 'frozen into a complete state of shock' was an understatement. My whole body starred in its own frame of rigor mortis. I tried to find a proper reaction to this discovery, but there wasn't one….because this was unexpected and remotely impossible.
But then Bella began to point out the confirmations.
"The dreams.." I'd heard her mumble.
That was the ultimate sign. Days earlier, Bella mentioned colors in her dreams that I didn't understand. Then she said something about the corals, which should have been a red flag right there. It was the oldest tale of all time. Corals had fish—it was a fish dream. My mother told me the tale of how my grandmother knew she was pregnant before she even realized it. I'd asked her how that could have been possible. My mother then went to explain that my grandmother had a dream where she was swimming in deep waters with gold fishes. She went on to explain the different meanings of fish dreams—from eating to catching them, from seeing them in clear water to playing with them. I was a young man then and didn't dwell on the subject since the terminologies never applied to me. Now I wished that I did.
"The excessive eating," she continued as if she was thinking to herself. "sleeping all day, crying and getting all emotional. Oh!"
As if a realization hit her, Bella's arms flew to her stomach and her eyes grew wide. My body refused to move but my eyes could. What they saw was as clear as day. A round bump slightly tugged at the lower buttons of Bella's shirt, making its presence known like it was there all along. How did I not see it before? She was lying so freely across my lap in the TV room and I didn't see or feel it. I didn't see it because I didn't expect it to be there. Had it been there?
It wasn't supposed to be there!
This cannot be happening. I wanted children but I never imagined for a split second that the notion was even conceivable while in my frozen condition. Never. Of all the books I've read, all the stories shared throughout the years, not one of them mentioned the possibility of vampires having children. Not with Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper. If Rose knew something, she would have found a way to conceive a child with Emmett.
The women from the Denali clan mated frequently with human men as it was their preference. Only nothing of this measure ever transpired to this extreme. Every one of us knew why: vampires can't make babies. But Bella wasn't a vampire. I was. How could that part of me flow with life and the rest of my body didn't? Since I'd never been with a woman—let alone a human one—how was I to know that a...pregnancy was feasible between her and I?
Had this happened before?
Carlisle never told me anything about a case like this, and he's been alive for over 300 years! I'm positive he would have had some inclination about a situation such as ours.
"Impossible." Did I say that out loud or did she?
Through my peripheral vision, I watched Bella approach the mirror and lift her shirt. Yes, it was there as plain as day. Her small navel, which presented a small hole just a day ago, poked out like the tip of a finger. Again Bella placed her hands on the abrupt change in her figure. She tried to pull at it, tug it left right, and push it in but the bump didn't budge.
God, this can't be true.
I thought back to when Bella jumped off the cliff last year and immediately felt myself in her place. It felt like I was falling, only deeper into a daze. Literally, I was speechless.
What have I done?