Sorry this took so long. Hope it was worth the wait!
Beta-ed by Lyxa
I stared at her dumbly.
"What Alice? What's wrong?"
Her eyes were frantic and her breathing was harsh. It wasn't that far away from my room to hers, so it was obvious that whatever is going on, it was as big as Johnny Depp dying. Well to her, anyway.
"Bella," she said quietly.
"What Alice?" I asked softly, even though I was getting impatient now.
"I-I just got off the phone with Bella. She told me..." She paused and looked at the floor with sad eyes, "She told me that she and Jacob are a couple now,"
I stared at her blankly for what seemed like hours but, in fact, only a few seconds had passed. Had I heard her right? Did she just say what I thought she said? I looked at her face again and it confirmed me that, yes. Yes I had heard her right.
At that revelation my chest tightened and I breathing became more difficult. My shoulders started to slightly tremble and my lip quivered. This wasn't really happening was it? The love of my existence was with another guy?
My vision suddenly clouded over and I thought I was going to pull a 'Bella' and faint. But when it didn't happen I quickly spun around and wiped at my eye, not wanting Alice to see. When I removed my hand from my face I looked down at it and stared in disbelief. I was crying.
I was somewhat shocked but still aching from the feeling that Alice's news had invoked within me. I hadn't cried since I fell from a tree in my backyard and broke my arm when I was seven. Alice had even once commented that if she hadn't known that I had feelings for Bella, she wouldn't have thought I had any at all. To think that this one girl that went by the name Bella Swan, was the only one that could get me like this. To get Edward Cullen into a sobbing fucking mess!
I started towards my wall, needing to hit something. I hit the wall like I was trying to break through it and escape from the feeling that was growing inside me. Life was so fucking unfair! I hated everything and everyone at this moment. I hated Emmett and Jasper for encouraging me. I hated Alice and Rosalie for trying to help me. I hated Jacob and all his stupid fucking friends for taunting me about how Bella liked Jacob. I hated Jacob for taking her away from me. I hated Bella for wanting to be with him and be so oblivious with my feelings towards her. I hated myself for hitting the wall so hard, knowing that my mother would have heard and I mostly like fractured my hand again!
"What is going on here?" I heard my mother, Esme, ask as she barged in my room.
Oh. Did I mention I hated my mother for coming into my room at this very moment while I was having an emotional break down?
I turned around to face her.
One look at me and her eyes widened in shock. She had completely looked past how I pounded a hole in the wall with just my fist and walked over to me to put her hands lovingly on my face to wipe my tears with her soft fingers.
"Edward! What on earth is the matter?"
I shook my head not wanting to tell her.
She looked away from me and towards my sister.
I saw Alice glance at me as I silently begged her not to tell.
"Uh-uh Mom? I don't think Edward wants to talk about it right now."
Esme looked kind of hurt but nodded her head in understanding. She looked back towards me and saw the hole in the wall. A moment of anger slashed across her beautiful face but she quickly composed it. She looked down and took my red, swelling hand carefully into her small ones.
"Edward. I know this has to be a pretty big deal whatever it is, because you have never punched a wall before." She looked at it closer and lightly kissed it. "But I do think you probably fractured your hand again. You're going to need to have your father fix it again."
I swallowed. That meant I was going to have to tell Carlisle what happened. Then he would tell Esme.
I sighed and looked down at the floor, nodding my head.
"I'm going to get you some ice. Your father will be home in about an hour. You'll tell him then and have him fix up your hand."
And at that she left the room.
I looked back at Alice and she was looking at the floor too, clearly at a loss for words.
I walked over to my bed and flopped down on it. I put my uninjured hand on my eyes and started rubbing them, trying to get rid of the headache that had formed by the pain in my hand and the pain in my chest.
"You don't have to say anything Alice," I interrupted. "The damage is done. There is nothing I can do now. I lost her, and there's nothing I can do about it."
"Edward don't talk like that! You haven't lost her! You still have a chance to be with her! Jacob and Bella aren't going to be together forever!"
"Alice stop! All you're giving me is false hope and I can't take any more of it,"
She was silent for a moment but then she spoke again, "Don't give up Edward. I know Bella loves you, she's just too stupid to see it."
I cowered in my room when I heard Carlisle's Mercedes pull into the drive way. I was not ready to face him. Carlisle wasn't one to get mad. Every time I told him I did something wrong, he always had the same reaction: silence and a disappointed shake of the head. And that infuriated me. When I told him I smoked pot, when I got arrested for stealing beer, when he found out exactly how sexually active I was, when I punched Jacob Black, all I got was silence and the shaking head. When he did that I felt shitter than I would have had he yelled at me. It made me feel like he felt I was a failure of a son; that he expected so much more.
I wasn't surprised to hear a knock on the door ten minutes after he got home.
"Yes?" I asked in a monotone voice.
Carlisle opened the door and looked at me with his hands in his white scrub pockets.
"You're mother wants me to take a look at your hand," He said and looked around the room. I figured he was trying to spot hole in the wall. My suspicions were confirmed when his eyes stopped roaming and he reached what he was searching for. He took a deep breath and shook his head. It made me clench both of my hands, which in turn caused me to wince in pain from my injured hand.
Carlisle saw this and told me to come with him to his office.
I slowly go up out of bed and did as he asked.
When we reached his office he gently took my hand and took the brace that I had given him after my hand was better the first time. He carefully put it on my hand, and just like that my hand was fixed. Well if you call not being to move my wrist or fingers all that much for a couple weeks "fixed."
It was silent in his large office for a while. All we could hear was the tick of our ancient grandfather clock on the side of the room.
I watched him as he slowly sat down behind his desk in his emerald green chair and brought his elbows to his desk. He clenched his hands and brought them to his face and rested it on them, blocking my view of his mouth and nose.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
I stepped nervously from foot to foot.
Finally he opened his eyes and removed his face from his hands.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?" He asked breaking the silence.
"I'd rather not," I mumbled.
"Edward," He scolded.
I took a deep breath.
"I got angry okay? Alice told me... something and it caused me to become livid and my reaction was to punch the wall. End of story,"
"No not end of story," He said infuriatingly calm. "It's not as simple as that. You never get that angry. Now tell me what happened. Your mother and I are desperate to know,"
"I don't want to," I snapped, "Besides it's none of your fucking business!"
"It is when you ruined a wall of the home that I provided for my family. Now tell me. Your mother and I are concerned for you Edward and we want to help."
"You can't fucking help me! All the people that have tried to help me with my 'problem' didn't help at all!"
"Regardless, your mother and I want to know,"
He stared at me like I was barely there. He face was a emotionless mask.
"Bella fucking Swan, okay!"
I had no idea why I cracked and told him. Maybe it was to get a reaction of him, but it never worked. He still had the same blank expression.
"What about her?"
"I'm in love with her alright?"
"Yes I know. You'd have to be blind not to know that. What does this have to do about punching a hole in your wall?"
"Oh now it's my wall now?"
"Just answer the question,"
"Well she happens to be fucking blind. Because I've been going out on dates with her but all she can fucking think about is Jacob fucking Black!"
"Jacob? Haven't you two hated each other since you were kids? I thought he moved when you two were in sixth grade."
"He did but he moved back last year," I shook my head frustrated. "That's not the point though! She likes that fucking dog and she won't even give me a passing glance,"
"As I recall you saying, she went on a couple dates with you,"
"Yeah but one was a fucking dare and the other was a pity date. That date was today and that's when everything went downhill."
"What do you mean?"
I rubbed the back of my neck.
"I told Bella how I felt about her..."
"And she didn't fucking believe me! She said that I was lying! And a little while after I got home, Alice came into my room freaking out saying that she agreed to be Jacob's girlfriend. How fucking messed up is that?"
He just stared at me for a moment, his face contemplating.
"She doesn't really like him son," He stated.
I knitted my eyebrows in confusion.
"What? Are you fucking insane? Did you not hear anything I just told you? Of course she does! She told me remember?"
He shook his head.
"If she really likes him like she claims she does, she would have been his girlfriend sooner. You don't think it's just coincidence that she agreed to be his girlfriend right after you declared your love for her, do you?"
I grimaced. I didn't like how he said I 'declared' it. It sounded so Romeo And Juliet and I fucking hate Romeo.
"What's your point?"
"She doesn't really like him. I know for a fact that Bella loves you, but she just is in denial-"
"That's what I fucking thought too! But look where it ended up! Her in the arms of that flea bag!"
"She's doing it to make herself believe that she likes him more than you. It's simple psychology."
I scowled at his super brain. Why did he have to be a fucking doctor? He may have not been psychiatrist, but he had to take a fucking class on it.
I shook my head.
"That can't be why,"
"Now who's in denial?" He smirked which took me aback for a moment because his face actually moved!
I didn't answer. I just stared at him while thinking about what he said.
"You are not in trouble Edward for punching the wall,"
Of course I wasn't. I was never fucking in trouble. He never got mad enough.
"But I will be telling your mother about this. You scared her half to death,"
I nodded in understanding. She was such a worry wart.
"You may leave now Edward."
He was writing something down on a piece of paper when I left the room.
"Dude you're playing like shit!" Emmett said.
"No really?" I asked sarcastically and held up my stub hand. "I can barely move my fingers. How do you expect me to play good?"
"That's not what I meant! You're not even trying. You are not into the song right now."
I rolled my eyes.
I continued to be sarcastic, "Well sorry for not being totally focused on this right now, but I am a tiny bit bummed out about seeing Jacob parade Bella around the whole fucking school... just a tiny bit."
I could barely reign in my anger just thinking of it. Everyone saw them together with Jacob's arm around her waist. It sickened me. And as soon as he caught my eye all he did was smirk. Fucker!
At least Emmett had the nerve to look guilty.
"Sorry man. That does suck," He got a mischievous glint in his eye. "You want to go punch their faces in?"
"I would love to Em, but I don't think my hand is up for the job."
Jasper and Emmett laughed.
"Dudes, we need to decide who's gonna be the bass player and the drummer!"
"I still say we should Mike for bass and Demetri for drummer," Emmett said.
"No! I can't fucking stand Mike Newton,"
Jasper rolled his eyes.
"You only hate him because he asked Bella to the dance ONCE!"
"Yeah well I took care of him," I said smiling at the memory of his face swollen and bloody.
"You got anger problems dude," Jasper shook his head.
"Whatever. It's not gonna be Mike,"
"Fine. Tyler it is," Emmett sighed.
"How 'bout drummer?" Jasper asked.
Emmett said "Demetri," right when I said "Felix." We glared at each other.
"Can you two agree on anything?"
"Demetri is a fucking tool! I hate him."
"Of course you do," Emmett said. "It was because Bella gave him a hug after him catching her in the hallway after tripping."
"No!" I said in denial, "Felix is just a way better drummer."
"Yes!" Emmett said mimicking my tone, "You kicked him the balls almost right after Bella left him alone. I would be surprised if he could still have children after that."
"He's just a pussy. Besides I bet he only wants to be in the band to get rematch."
"Fine whatever. Felix it is then. Besides it would be nice to have someone that's as big as me."
Jasper and I rolled our eyes. He was so conceited sometimes. Why isn't he with Rosalie again?
"Whatever. Let's call them so we can practice." Jasper said
After hours of practicing we called it a day.
I was so mentally exhausted from thinking constantly about Jacob and Bella. I could tell that not only did Jasper and Emmett notice, but so did Felix and Tyler. I knew that they knew why though, and "Get over it" was written all over Tyler and Felix's face. Whatever fuckers. You've never been in love.
I was about to lay down when I got home when I got and UKNOWN CALLER from my cell phone. I contemplated picking it up. I decided to do it because the curiosity was getting to me.
"Hello?" I spoke in the phone.
I growled into the phone. Jacob.
"How did you get my number douche bag?" I all but snarled.
"I looked in Bella's phone. I must say, not too happy about my GIRLFRIEND having some other guy's number."
"Shut the fuck up Black if you know what's good for you."
"Whatever. I just called to gloat. I knew I could get her and you couldn't. Guess you're just not man enough for her are you Cullen?"
"I'm twice the man you'll ever be."
"Oh. And is that why I heard from Felix that it looked like you were about to bust out crying all through rehearsal?"
My nostrils flared. I was gonna kill him.
"No, that is not true," I lied in a way I hope was smooth.
"Liar. Well anyway I just want to say that Bella is mine now. So fucking stay away from her,"
"Don't tell me what to do! And besides what if she wants to talk to me?"
He snorted. Pig.
"Highly doubt she will," He scoffed. "But I guess she can if she wants to,"
"You guess," my anger was rising. "What do you mean you guess? It's completely her decision. You don't own her!"
"Oh it's not like you haven't acted like you owned her for six fucking years! Yes she can talk to you if she wishes, but I'll still kick your ass."
"Psh. You wish fucker,"
"Well I guess we both know who the best man is," He said recalling our conversation in the bathroom. "By Fucker. Stay away from her." And then he hung up.
I just about threw my phone at the wall and made another hole, but thankfully I didn't.
I was so fucking livid I actually contemplated throwing a tantrum. I hated my life!