Regrets

Summary: When Jennifer Knightly reads in the Prophet that Lupin was killed in the Battle of Hogwarts it sends her on a downward spiral of guilt and remorse, as she remembers her time at Hogwarts and how her prejudice caused her to make the biggest mistake of her life. [Lupin/OC]

Rating: PG-13 – for sensitive topics, mild fantasy violence and mention of character deaths.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter books or any of the characters, events, places or situations represented within; they are all the property of J.K. Rowling. Original characters of Jennifer Knightly, and her family, as well as anyone else you may not recognize from the books are copyright of wandaXmaximoff, 2008-09. If this story or any of its original characters are similar to those of another story, I apologies, as it was purely accidental.

Author's Notes: Well, I'm finally back with the new Harry Potter fanfic I've been working on for almost a year now!! Even though this isn't complete, I have twelve chapters already written, so I thought that posting it might encourage me to get a move on a finish it off! Hopefully, I won't keep y'all waiting too long for an update.

Huge thanks go to Peggy (Medieval Mystic: USER ID: 796384) for doing such a wonderful job beta'ing this story. I'm truly grateful for all the help you've given me, and so glad we've become friends through talking about fanfic.

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Prologue

As I stared down at the Daily Prophet, I could hardly believe the news was true. I'd known this war was going to have casualties but I was not prepared for one of those fatalities to be someone I'd known so well.

The newspaper fell from my hands, landing on the carpet below me, and I had to steady myself on the arm of the chair for a moment.

Nothing prepares you for the news of a death. Even if you've hardly spoken to the person in the last twenty years, feelings of grief, sorrow and anger still wash over you.

In my case, these emotions were coupled with guilt, remorse and regret... regret that I'd left it too late to ever make things right.

I all but stumbled to the kitchen. It was quiet without the children here and looked the same as always. I opened the cupboard. For about five minutes I stared at the pots and pans, before I remembered that I wanted to make tea. I filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove. I almost forgot to switch it on.

"Awful, isn't it?" Phillip came into the kitchen and placed the of the Daily Prophet I'd just been reading on the table. The headline announced that a memorial service for all those lost in the battle of Hogwarts will be held at the end of the week.

I nodded numbly. I stared at the cup in front of me and couldn't bring myself to pick it up. Then I lifted up my glasses and wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my robes. Until that moment, I hadn't even realised I'd been crying. "I'm going to make a cup of tea, do you want one?"

Phillip agreed, as the liquid began to heat up, and I got out the tea bags. The minutes ticked by in tense silence, neither of us knowing what to say.

"You know, I don't think I want this now," I said, suddenly changing my mind. I just needed to be anywhere that wasn't here. The walls felt as though they were closing in around me, and I could hardly breath. "I'll go for a walk to clear my head."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'll be okay. I just want to be alone for a little while."

"You know that I'm here if you need me, right?"

"Thanks," I offered a feeble smile.

I left the house and made my way to the small field at the back. It was a clear, sunny day at the end of May. Insensitive as it may have seemed, the weather didn't care if I was feeling so sad.

Strolling along the familiar path, I thought about the news and remembered the events that lead to the most shameful mistake of my life.

There were things in the past I wished I had done differently. However, there is one thing I regret more than everything else. And now that I have lost the chance to apologise, I will carry the guilt of my decision with me for the rest of my life.