This is something that was actually written quite a long time ago. For those of you who read my drabbles, yes--this is a further exploration into the dream-sequence. Set during New Moon, this is my (extended) take on Bella's nightmares. Enjoy! Review?
BRiNG ME TO LiFE
A Twilight FanFiction
By Musings of a Shaken Mind
You're so exhausted that you fall asleep quickly. It's an odd occurrence--often, you twist and turn for hours, trying desperately to reach a state of unconsciousness. But then, you've had a lot on your mind, recently. But today has been particularly hard, and so you have no trouble falling asleep.
And, as soon as you do drift into dreams, you regret it.
Wake me up inside
It's the same dream, the same nightmare.
It's the same every night, though… exactly the same. You're used to it, you suppose. You're used to the terror it brings, the pain, the fear… and mostly the loneliness.
That's what hurts the most, you think. After a few months of being surrounded by a new, loving (on the most part) family, you're really scared, now that there's no-one here for you. No Alice, to talk to. No Emmett, to laugh and smile with. No Esme, to mother you. No Carlisle, to explain things that you can't fathom. No Rosalie to hide from. No Jasper to be wary of. And most of all? No Ed—no.
It's still too hard to think the name, isn't it? Too painful. You're not strong enough for that, not yet. Perhaps, you think, in time…
You're twisting, you're turning. Its black all around you, but it's so loud. 'Cause all the screams you're hearing, they're all your own. Your lips are gasping, you're fighting. You're terrified.
But you are breaking. And falling. It's killing you.
You're just humouring yourself, though, trying to preserve what little sanity remains. You know it's never going to get any easier.
Wake me up inside
Your eyes are open, and the sun shines down around you, although there's no sparkling. It's like Alice in wonderland, with Snow White's seven dwarves and Cinderella's castle and Prince Charming ready to whisk you away on horseback.
But the witch is still offering you the poison apple, and you bite it. Because you want to. You're begging for it, you're screaming for it. And you want to.
Every night. There's no reprieve, no end in sight. You just wander. Through the woods that are new, and yet so familiar, at the same time. Déjà vu? How, when you have no waking recollection of moving through woods like these? None near Forks are so visually dramatic. Or so dark, so dense, so terrifyingly black.
Certainly, the ones out the back of the house are not so frightening
Now all you're left with is that bad taste in your mouth, like blood and copper. It's burning you; your tongue is on fire. And then it spreads. It spreads, and it burns, and it keeps burning. Why won't it stop burning? Why is it still burning?
Call my name, and save me from the dark
You wander; you stumble, through the dark. There's nowhere to go. There's just darkness. Every night, it's the same. You're lost in the woods. They spin and swirl around you. They don't form a pattern, but it's not random. It's organised, somehow, in an odd way. It's like some abstract piece of modern art; you know there's meaning somewhere, you just can't find it, or decipher it.
Maybe, if you could find the code, you could be free. The question is—is there one? Is there a way out, an escape? Is there any way that you'll ever be free?
Water won't stop the stinging, you know you're dying. You feel it, the hot lava running through your fingers, it's brutal and it's beautiful—because you're dying, and you're all alone.
Bid my blood to run,
You begin to cry, and the tears in this fucked-up dream world aren't salty. They aren't clear, they aren't safe… they're dangerous. They're blood. Crimson red and painful. You reel backwards, trying to escape the smell. But you can't. For the moment, you're glad that there are no Vampires around; this would be painful for them. Not that they'd care. They'd probably just drink your blood.
Because the only Vampires you'll ever see again, if you do ever see any again, are the blood-drinkers. The human-killers. They're the ones that the Quileute should be afraid of. Although, to be fair, the 'vegetarian' vampires did ultimately cause you more pain.
You realise that it's strange that you're reasoning through the moral ethics of Vampires, in this dream.
Now all that's left to do is cover you in white and put you on display. Dress you up in princess dresses and keep you nice and cold. Put you in a glass case and wait for your prince. Cause he's got to give you the magic kiss.
But you've already kissed the Prince. You know how it works. You kissed him on the lips, and then he turned into a toad, and hopped away.
Before I come undone
But you've still got that bad taste in your mouth. It's still on your tongue. You're choking, you're crying. You can't deal with this, because it's still too painful, and you're still too weak.
Too late, it's too late. You're everything. You're nothing. It's gone. Everything you loved. You can't cry out, you can't scream for help. You might be insane. Or deaf. Or mute, or dumb, or blind, or something. You just keep crying the tears of pitiless blood. They run, and they run. They stain your white skin red, and suddenly you're a monster. You're far more monstrous than anything the Cullens could dream of. Worse, even, than the Zombies in that stupid movie. Worse, because it's not onscreen. It's not fake, it's not Hollywood. It's real. It's you. You can't escape it, and you hate it.
Its all blood and copper— the taste, the smell, the feeling. And you hate it.
Didn't you realise? Did nobody tell you?
It's like Alice in Wonderland, with Snow White's seven dwarves and Cinderella's castle and Prince Charming ready to whisk you away on horseback. And the witch.
Because baby, you're the princess in this fucked up fairytale.
Save me from the nothing I've become
But my god, you're prince ain't coming.
And it's all blood and copper. It's all blood and copper.
You wake up, and you're screaming.