All I Ever Had

Here I am,
A broken Man.
Quiet thoughts,
Unspoken dreams...

Zelgadis looked down to the silver locket in his hand and opened up its oval lid gently to look at his treasure within. Inside was a small brown photo of his only friends, Lina, Gourry, Amelia, and Filia. Next to Lina was himself and the only reason he was smiling in the picture was because Lina's arm was draped around his shoulder. The picture itself showed serene happiness in the group for once in their chaotic lives.

He was no where near the group anymore. They had long since split up. Amelia had married and ruled Seyrune well with her husband and had had two children all ready last he heard. Filia had raised Valgaav and both were still in the small-secluded village in the new world. Gourry had settled down with Sylphiel, and Xellos.... He couldn't care less. The one who had meant anything to him was Lina. But he would never hear her laughter, or see her smile.

He had wanted to travel with her much longer then he had been able to... He would have stayed by her side for the rest of their lives.... But dreams like that... he rarely even had the thought of telling anyone... let alone the person he wanted to tell the most.

Here I am,
Alone again.
I need her now,
To hold my hand...

How long had it been now? Four years? Five years? It didn't really matter to him... It was too long for him either way. Honestly it had to at least have been Five years without Lina. That was the loneliest time in his life he could think of... and it wasn't over yet. He smiled sadly thinking of the time that had been a true taste of heaven for him... Before she had left him.

It had taken until she was nineteen before she had shown anything close to caring about him in more then just a companion like way. He had been twenty-four at the time and already Amelia had left their group to take responsibility for her country.

When he and she had been left alone to travel after Gourry's wedding, the first week had been silent for them in a way. Mostly during the dark of night while traveling or camping beneath the starry, or blackened sky. That was when they would have more time to think instead of worrying about travel. How many nights had gone by when one of them would catch the other looking at them in an indescribable way?

Countless it seemed... And it had taken months before either of them had done anything. He remembered how one cold night he had been staring at the fire and had closed his eyes tightly resting both his arms on his legs with a sigh. It had felt like a brief moment before he felt a hand touch his arm, and a head lean against his shoulder hesitantly. His eyes had flown open and he had turned his head to see Lina's fiery red hair right next to his cheek. The scent of flowers, woods, and a smell that was definitely Lina reached him and he found his voice gone for the briefest of moments....

She is all...
She's all I ever had...

"What are you-- Lina what's--" he stuttered in embarrassment.

"I'm cold..." she whispered, as if that was a good enough reason. He frowned and looked down at her.

"Stone was never a good heat source Lina." he spoke a little more sternly then he had meant but it was his self-doubt kicking in, and by the way Lina had shrugged, he knew it hadn't worked.

Lina - 1 Chimera - 0

"You are warm though," her hand touched his and she brought it up to her cheek. "I can feel it." he looked at her strangely as she spoke, having a faint feeling that she wasn't talking about body heat anymore, but of his emotions.

"Is that the only reason? I'm a good heat source?" He pushed away his thoughts with his questions.

"I wouldn't say that's the only reason..."

"What other reason could it be?" he swallowed uncomfortably; her closeness was making it hard to really think straight.

"I can think of a really good reason... but I'm not sure if you'd consider it good." Lina looked up to his eyes and took a breath trying to not chicken out. He had no reason to care for her, her mind informed her, and how could she be sure that it was what he wanted? She couldn't... not unless she straight out said or did something.

"How could it not be good?" He held her gaze until she moved up to him and held her mouth an inch away from his and kept the gaze. He had a very good idea what she was about to do and both of them knew it. And from the looks of it she was giving him a fair chance to back off, and shove her away. When he didn't, she closed her eyes and pressed her lips against his in a tender kiss. He was sure he had melted as they both held each other, emotions dancing in their stomachs and warmth running through their bodies...

She's the air I breathe.
She's is all...
She's all I ever had...

Zelgadis stepped on a twig as he was torn away from the sweet memory into reality. By the end of four moons, he had opened himself up the most he ever would. They had shared everything that a person could with each other. It was as if their souls had melded into one being, their emotions and bodies joining as if that was what they had been waiting for.

There had been nights where after they had made love, their arms would be entwined around each other, just staring into the night sky, not minding the cold because of the warmth from the other. When they had run into a festival they had joined in the dancing, especially when music for the young lovers played. Albeit reluctantly, he admitted to himself, at least they had found a way to throw up a spell of illusion around him to make him appear human, but it took a lot out of him to put it lightly.

It's the way she makes me feel,
It's the only thing that's real,

During the first six months it was like living in a world set apart from reality. Nothing could harm them. They had gone extremely out of character from how they had once been. That much was sure. But you'd be surprised how someone will change when they discover what it feels like being held as the another person kisses their forehead, bodies touching each other, as if time stopped, because that moment feels like forever.

It's the way she understands,
She's my lover,
She's my friend.

Soul Mates... it was always possible. The way the communicated, the way they opened up and understood and accepted each other was quite different. And when they weren't lost in each other, they were just being how they had been before their union...

When I look into her eyes,
It's the way I feel inside.
Like the man I want to be,
She is all I'll ever need.

After a year, they finally married each other, neither chose to settle down at the immediate moment, but continued on in gaining power, practicing, and learning. Though things we're changing. Magic was slowly starting to dissipate. And slowly they began to save to buy land and a house.

He hadn't minded, it seemed all right. Things change, as well as people, and they both had most definitely. He was finally the person he wanted to be, and with her he felt like there was nothing else needed.

So much time,

After another year and a half the Mazoku we're starting to come back slowly into power. Killing off more humans, recruiting new demons, and finding the pieces of Shabranigdo. So they had come off of their 'vacation' and had gone back to killing and fighting demons. After a while he and Lina had been high strung. All this fighting, he missed being able to just not worry about anything and sleep in the house that they had built. It became worse when one exceptionally powerful demon had thrown a spell over him that had weakened his abilities and powers considerably, and unfortunately for them, they were never able to kill the demon.
And so for a few months she would cast magic, and he had to try and fight the spell to regain his abilities.

If he was objective to all the tireless fight, she on the other hand, was being pulled towards the fight. Her life was entwined in him, but also with magic and the chaotic nature of fighting. But not when it came to fighting her own spouse. He was willing to give up for the time, they were demons and trolls, and now the people were finally getting back into the swing of spells, he was sure it was fine. But she had argued that some demons were too powerful for the third rate wizards that did exist now.

So much pain.

"Why are we fighting about this ?!" she had yelled at him after one particular argument.

He sighed, "I don't know anymore." he lowered his head and sat down on his chair in the inns bedroom.

She frowned and went over to him, "It's because of your magic isn't it?" She kneeled in front of him and he was forced to look back into her red eyes, he leaned forward on instinct, and kissed her not knowing what to say.

How was he to protect her? He wasn't as strong or able to protect her anymore when she needed it. She was mostly watching out for him, and he had an odd feeling that he would be the death of her.

There's one thing
That still remains.
The way she cared,
The love we shared,

The next morning when the sun had come up to greet them; both held in each other's arms, she smiled at his sleeping face. She loved him dearly, maybe this once he would win the fight. She leaned over and kissed him to wake him up, which he did, and without complaint.

"L--" he yawned and broke the kiss, "Lina, what is it?"

"I'm thinking maybe we should go back home." She smiled at him.

He raised an eyebrow, "Who are you and what have you done with Lina?"

"I am your Lina you goof.... I just am kinda pregnant... that's all."


Lots of it.


Pretty little yellow canary's with a black and white cat chasing it, circled his head. Complete with weird music. (Loony toons!)

"At least you take things well." she sighed as his eyes swirled.

And through it all,
She's always been there.

It had taken them about four months to walk even to a halfway point of where their home was and as they walked down the main road he held her hand. "Don't you dare over exert yourself, or I'll tie you down to a bed and make sure you stay there."

Lina grinned, "You did that a week ago though-"

He blushed crimson at her remark and started walking quickly, "Oh shut--" he was cut off by several screams over the hill.

She is all...
She is all I've had...

"What was that?" Lina frowned. "Isn't the town Gillahad nearby here?"

He frowned and began running with her in tow, what they saw over it made his blood freeze.

"Mazoku." he muttered.

"That's the third town this month! Come on!" Lina cast a Ray Wing and flew off down the hill, readying up an offensive spell as she went. She was too far ahead of him....

"Lina, no!!!" he screamed at her as she reached the town in a mere moment, he had begun running the minute she had cast her Ray Wing, but he didn't follow suite because he had to conserve his spells--

He never had a chance to reach the town. A spell from within had gone off and a moment later if it had been a town, it wasn't any more then a mere pile of ashes.

He never knew what had hit it.... or him, as he was blasted back, into a blackness of mind, body, and soul.

The world is so cold,
So empty.

Zelgadis closed his eyes at the memory and felt his eyes burn as his vision went blurry. When he had awoken, he had seen the dying fires from the few remaining pieces of rubble there, it was hot around the area, smoke still clung to the land permeated with death, and he felt something inside of him gnaw at his chest.

The moment he had woken up he had felt something was gone... missing... erased from within him.


She is all...
She's is all I ever had...

He had searched desperately, the only thing he found were her scorched amulets Xellos had given her. And even then, he had searched the town for a week. His rationality had been destroyed with Lina. He searched, mind slipping into insanity. Intent he would find her, and it would all be ok. It would... wouldn't it? WOULDN'T IT? It had to be....

It's the way she makes me feel,
It's the only thing that's real,
It's the way she understands,
She's my lover, she's my friend.

Zelgadis sat down on the grass and leaned against the tree and looked down to his wrists. On them were her amulets. Despite the blast they had survived. Of course they had.... they were meant for a powerful Mazoku. They had to be able to survive hells fires and worse. He had been able to polish and clean them and get them to look like they originally had on Lina... except for the deep scratches on two of the four.

This was all he had left of her. Except for his memories. His reality had crumbled afterwards, she made life that much more.... he had someone to talk with, someone to listen to, someone to make love with, and someone to be with. It was a connection that couldn't be duplicated.

When I look into her eyes,
It's the way I feel inside.

Eyes were the gateway to the soul.... Her soul.... fire, passion, love, warmth, something that could melt a heart in a moment... he was cut off from his thoughts as he felt a dark presence near him.

He wiped his eyes and stood quickly facing the intruder and his mouth parted slightly, but then went into a sneer. "What do you want Mazoku?" he snarled.

"My amulets." he said simply. "I may have.... 'Loaned' them to Lina-Chan, but her use was over, and I'm afraid with the current difficulties of the Monster race... I am going to need those back."

"Why did you take so damn long to re-collect them since you killed her five years ago?!" he bit back a small choke of emotion.

"Oh, you figured out that that was me did you?"

"How could I not, a two days after her death my powers return full force? Then the weaker monsters I began killing, would tell me anything I wanted to know if I'd spare their lives, I began to hear things Xellos. You had it all set up, weaken the chimera, and you'd have a better chance to kill Lina!"

Xellos smiled without regret, "Hai, I was ordered to kill her. It was because of her child Zelgadis. Not for the amulets. I had honestly not thought much of them.... and had they been destroyed I know I would have known... You've taken good care of them Zelgadis. But now it's time I take them back."

"Go to hell!" he snarled, he then threw an Elmekia Lance at him which Xellos easily dodged.

"Zel.... you'll never learn." he blasted a fireball at Zelgadis who threw himself off to the side and tumbled into a kneeling position.

"RA TILT!" he shouted out the spell which completely missed Xellos and in the next moment he felt one of the most terrible physical pains go through him, and looked down to see the end of Xellos' staff glowing bright gold, protruding from his chest. As Xellos ripped it out Zelgadis collapsed and distantly felt his hands being lifted as the amulets were removed one by one, till all four were back to their original owner.

"I'm very sorry about this Zelgadis-san, but you must understand that this had to happen, she had to die, you could have lived but lets face it, you've not done much these past years have you? At least I can let you die knowing, your pain is absolutely delicious... As was Lina. You see, I destroyed the town, but I took her for myself making it look as though she were gone. She survived for weeks, but I must admit, I was foolish to leave that dagger in my room. She killed herself, rather then be raped again..." he smiled evilly, enjoying Zelgadis' pain, horror, and grief.

Zelgadis coughed up blood and felt his body spasm, 'But she's free from you now... thank God... I'm so sorry Lina...', his clothes were soaked in his own blood and as he died he felt the cold air touch his body as a light cracking noise resounded, and soon enough, as if his armor was just mud caked onto his body, it fell off leaving behind his human skin, which was going from light pink, to light purple quickly.

"So sad little chimera, you're cure was in your death."

Zelgadis closed his eyes, tears streaming down his face, "I can feel-" he choked out. Xellos frowned, even through Zelgadis' pain, he could sense happiness. And Zel was, for the first time in nearly a decade, he could feel the wind, and grass, despite the fact he was dying, "Thanks... nama...gomi." He then breathed his last.

Xellos' face had twisted into a dark glare. Zelgadis not only managed to insult him on his way into deaths arms, and possibly Lina's too, Xellos had inadvertently given him a gift. How disappointing... He then teleported away to leave Zelgadis' corpse lying in the grass, the moon shining on his body, and somewhere, in a place humans could never even begin to conceive, two lovers were once more reunited.

Like the man I want to be,
She's all I'll ever need.

Lina, Amelia, Zelgadis, Filia, and Gourry: O__O

Author-Sama: So what do you guys think?!

Filia: You couldn't get it any worse if you tried!

Author-Sama: Oh yes I could! I could have had Xellos help me write it!

Xellos: I would have if you hadn't knocked me out!

Author-Sama: Well you shouldn't be trying to throw things in about rubber chickens!

Mina: *Sweat drop*

Zelgadis: Why on earth did you post this anyway? Didn't it take you near a year to write?

Author-Sama: Nine months! And because I wanted to write it... actually I didn't know the end until today... Well to my readers-

Lina: Of which there are none-

Author: *glares at Lina* Leave a comment please!

Amelia: Shouldn't you be writing on your other stories now? You're weeks behind on a Chance to Change, and To Be Insane-

Author-Sama: Uresai. (shut up)