"Which button is it, Dan-? Wait… Here!" Laurie jabbed her finger into a button on Archie's dash, decorated with a megaphone icon.
"Attention New York! This is a Public Service Announcement," she said, gazing out of Archie's left eye at the crowds of people below.
"As you all know, it's 1985, and we've come a long way from our humble beginnings in the forties- both America as a better nation, and her masked heroes and heroines. And surely, in the future, we'll go even farther. Doctor Manhattan tells me about phones that work without any wires, and fit in the palm of your hand. But he also said not to expect these until the nineties, so we'll have to wait around and see, won't we?
"Now, I know some of you- well, a lot of you- don't like us very much. And I can understand that. I mean, take Rorschach for example. He obviously had issues, and was definitely the most violent of us. He hated women, killed with abandon, and had no morals to speak of. But we aren't all like that- not at all. We just want to help you guys out! We want to stop the rapists and the murderers and the thieves just as much as you do, and as always, we will hand them over to the police rather than act as the judge, jury, and executioner.
"That being said, I'd like to address our, uh… Ardent fans. Please, please do not expose yourself to unnecessary risks in the hopes your personal favorite hero will come along and save you. New York is a big city, and there aren't that many of us active. You may get seriously injured, or even killed, and we don't want that.
"Along the same lines, those that despise us should not expose themselves to risks either. In fact, none of you should.
"Should it happen, though, that somebody tries to mug you or something along those lines, just run. I'm glad we inspire people to stand up for themselves, but it's a bad idea to stand and fight a man with a weapon if you are unarmed and haven't been properly trained for such a situation. And most of you are unarmed, and have no knowledge in martial arts. Don't be a martyr. It's stupid.
"I understand that there's a movie being made about us, and that many people are going to see it. Just try to remember that the people in the movie are not necessarily the same people out here, on the streets. Don't form assumptions of us based on this film, please. I would appreciate it.
"I thank you all for your time and energy! Please, have a lovely and safe night." Laurie pressed the button again, turning off the loudspeakers. Daniel smiled behind her.
"Good job. You think they absorbed any of that?"
"Maybe. Dunno. It was worth a shot, though, right?"