Author's Note: The "past" begins with Edward and Bella's wedding in Chapter 4 of BD before veering off in an AU. The "present" is the future in that universe.

"L'anno del Mai" means "the year of never" in Italian… it's a phrase equivalent to "when hell freezes over." It'll be explained more if I decide to write more in this storyline than this oneshot.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; it owns me.

Present

Jake's hot mouth crashed into mine and I opened it to let his tongue in immediately. Our tongues danced together and the heat was nearly too much.

Edward must have known how hot I would be – Edward always knew – and he pressed himself against my back, reaching his hands between me and Jake to cup my breasts in his hands.

Jake sucked in a breath at the contact of Edward's hands with his own bare chest but didn't pull away.

I smiled at how wonderful it made me feel that Edward and Jacob were finally comfortable with each other – even like this.

Past

The wedding that Alice had planned for me and Edward had nearly gone off flawlessly. And the fault certainly did not lie with Alice.

It was Jacob Black's sudden appearance voicing his objection at just the right moment in the ceremony that had changed the outcome of that day. How could I go through with a wedding with the taint of the other man I loved protesting that I shouldn't do it?

I couldn't. So I ran away from them both.

Present

Edward's hands slid up, releasing my breasts and moving onto my face. With one cold hand on each cheek he pulled my head backward, forcing me to break the kiss with Jake.

Jacob's mouth didn't break contact with my skin but instead worked its way lower, tracing the path that one of Edward's hands had just left. His mouth was warm and moist where Edward's hand had been cold and hard.

In the same moment Edward pressed his mouth onto mine in an upside down kiss and Jake's tongue swirled around my breast until the took the nipple into his mouth.

Past

I'd avoided talking to either of them for nearly a week after that day. Charlie had worried about me but was content to take their messages and leave me alone most of the time.

The morning of what should have been my one-week anniversary as Mrs. Edward Cullen the doorbell rang and I knew that one of my two loves wasn't willing to wait any longer to speak to me.

I could hear voices downstairs; Charlie had let whoever was here into the living room. I grudgingly left my room, knowing that if Charlie was willing to let him in – whichever him it was – he wouldn't be leaving until he'd seen me.

As I trudged down the stairs I heard Jacob's deep laugh and though I was happy it was Jake, I was also disappointed, fearing that Edward might be too angry with me to bother coming over to fight for me.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard Edward's unmistakable velvet voice reply to something Charlie had said.

Edward and Jacob were both here.

Present

I moaned into Edward's mouth. A girl could get used to this. Actually, that wasn't true at all. The feelings of ecstasy that overwhelmed me when I had both of the most perfect men on the planet lavishing their attention on me in bed wasn't something anyone could ever get used to.

Edward kept kissing me softly, always soft with Edward, as he lowered me further back until I was flat on my back. Jacob moved with us, keeping his mouth suckling at my breast.

Jake reached one hand down to cup the soft folds between my legs. Edward's mouth released mine in time for me to yell a wordless cry of pleasure.

Edward moved away from my head and all the way to the other end of the bed, near my feet and began kissing his way up my body, starting at the very tips of my toes.

Jacob moved his mouth from one breast to the other, leaning over me to reach it. His fingers began to rub gently through my folds and I sighed, "Fuck."

Past

Edward and Jacob were both here. And from what I could gather from the mumblings that were still too far away to be understandable words they weren't about to tear each other's throats out. While that was a relief – I was quite fond of both throats – it was absolutely mind-boggling.

I was frozen halfway down the stairs. I was more certain than ever that I had no choice but to join the group in the living room but I could not force my legs to move. I wondered how long I could stand there like an idiot before they would come looking for me. Charlie might think I was still in my room and hadn't heard the doorbell but both Edward and Jacob would know exactly which step I was paralyzed on. You just can't keep things like that from a vampire and a werewolf.

I didn't even register the sound of the approaching footsteps until it was too late to try to dash back up to my room.

Present

I could feel Jacob's smile form against my breast as he released my nipple. "God, I love your dirty mouth, Bells."

Edward's ascent up my legs was nearly complete; his head brushed into Jake's hand where it was still massaging the outside of my warm center and the impact sent the wandering finger piercing into me.

"Holy shit!" I screamed.

Jake lowered his head until his mouth was only a breath away from mine. "So fucking hot," he murmured before kissing me. His tongue thrust into my mouth and massaged against my own tongue as his finger began sliding in and out of me in a matching rhythm.

Edward licked the crease between each of my legs and my core, working around Jacob's hot hand.

As Edward's tongue flicked across me – and he must have licked Jake's finger too – I turned my head away from Jacob's kiss to scream another profanity.

Past

"Come on down, Bells," Charlie chuckled when he saw me on the stairs.

"I'm coming," I mumbled and forced my feet to carry me into the living room.

Edward and Jacob were both seated on the couch but were as far away from each other as they could be. The middle cushion of the couch beckoned to me, daring me to put myself right between these two men – mortal enemies to each other – who each held a piece of my heart.

I didn't have the courage to do it and kept my eyes on my feet as I made my way to Charlie's chair across from the couch.

"I'm going fishing or something," Charlie muttered before striding quickly out the door.

The three of us sat in silence for what felt like eternity.

"Did you want to start, Jacob?" Edward's voice was at its politest.

Jake chuckled once. "No, I think you should." His tone wasn't nearly as polite as Edward's had been but it was clear that he was trying.

"Bella, will you look at me? At us?" Edward asked quietly.

Present

Jacob's hand slid out of me and though I felt the loss of his warmth I didn't have time to fret over the loss of friction before Edward's tongue slid inside me.

Jake brought his hand to his mouth and licked his finger clean. "You taste so good," he whispered.

"Mmmm hmmm." The vibration of Edward's agreement with Jake sent a shudder through my body and another curse word across my lips.

"Let me taste you, Jake," I begged, pulling myself back to a sitting position.

With a wide grin on his face Jacob knelt in front of me, straddling my lower body with Edward's head still between my legs.

I pulled the length of him into my mouth quickly and was rewarded with a loud vulgarity from Jake. I sucked on him as his hips began rocking back and forth, pulling himself in and out of my mouth.

Edward's icy tongue continued to pleasure me as I did the same for Jacob. It was only a moment before I felt my orgasm build almost instantly. Just as the wave hit me I pulled my mouth from around Jake to scream.

"Edward, fuck, Edward!"

Past

Slowly, wishing I could put it off longer, I lifted my eyes to the men on the couch. They were gazing back at me. Both faces held love, understanding and patience and I couldn't take it.

"Neither one of you is supposed to ever want to see me again!" I screamed at them, tears welling up in my eyes.

Jacob laughed at my outburst. Edward's face fell, saddened.

"Haven't I done more than enough to hurt you both? What do you want from me?" I was still angry but managed to lower my volume as I wiped away the tears that had spilled over.

"You," they answered in unison.

"Ung!" I threw up my hands in frustration and looked away from them.

Present

"My turn," Jacob growled huskily as he moved to take Edward's place.

Edward lay down on the bed, pulling me back down beside him. I lay on my back, my legs still spread wide for Jacob as he positioned himself above me, with my face turned to gaze at Edward. His cold nakedness pressed against my side and he lifted one hand to casually run it along my bare stomach and chest.

"I love you, Bella," he said softly.

"I love you too, Edward," I replied with a lazy smile.

Without warning Jake thrust the full length of his erection hard and fast into me.

"Fuck, Jake!" My head whipped back to look at him.

Slowly Jacob began to pull himself out of me. "Do you want me to stop, Bella?" he asked cockily.

I shook my head. "Never, Jake. Never stop."

He thrust back into me hard and fast.

"Fuck me, Jacob," I moaned, writhing beneath him.

Past

"Bella, please hear us out." Edward was still calm but I could hear that it was taking effort to stay that way.

"Don't act so surprised, Bells," Jake chuckled. "Be happy that clown Mike Newton isn't here too."

My eyes flashed back to Jacob who was still grinning. Looking at Edward I saw a smile trying to escape on his lips too.

"There'd be a line out the door if the rest of them weren't afraid of the two of us." Edward spoke quickly and looked at Jacob.

They erupted in laughter at the same time.

As frustrated as I had been a moment ago to have them both in my living room to see me I quickly became frustrated at their new camaraderie.

I stood up. "You boys don't seem to need me so I'll just be in my room if you don't mind."

Present

As Jake found a rhythm that had us both panting he lowered himself closer to me before rolling us both. Never having lost pace, we were now both lying on our sides on the bed with Edward behind me.

The move had pulled me away from Edward and he quickly moved to press himself against me again.

"Do you want me, Bella?" Edward whispered into my ear.

"Yes, I want you both," I panted. "I need you both!"

Jacob slowed in front of me, holding me still while Edward got into position.

Slowly, gently, Edward pushed himself into the opening behind me.

A string of profanities came streaming from my lips as Edward and Jacob found a rhythm together, sandwiching me between them in pure bliss.

The heat of Jacob against my front could only be balanced so perfectly by the cold of Edward against my back. I couldn't imagine how I could ever have bared to have one of their naked bodies pressed against me without the other on the opposite side of me.

Past

"Please wait, Bella," Edward said.

"Aw, come on, Bells," Jake said at the same time.

I sat back down with a sigh, feeling more than a little ridiculous. This whole situation was so absolutely absurd.

"Jacob and I have come to an agreement and we'd like to discuss it with you." Edward spoke quickly, clearly trying to get through what he needed to say before I interrupted again.

"You two seem to be getting along so well, what could I possibly add to your 'agreement?'" I crossed my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"It doesn't really work without you," Jake chuckled.

"We understand that we share your heart, Bella," Edward went on as though neither Jake nor I had said anything. "We both feel honored that you've given us a part of yourself. We'd like to stop trying to tear you apart by making you choose between us. With your permission, we'd like to share you, Bella."

"Share me?!" I stood up again in shock.

"Easy, Bells, honey," Jake chuckled.

I turned on him. "Why is this all so funny to you?" I asked angrily.

Present

It didn't take long with both of them inside me, beside me, and pressed against me for another orgasm to flood through me. More swear words as well as both of their names burst from my mouth.

My own orgasm brought both Edward's and Jacob's right after it. Edward's soft confession of love was nearly drowned by Jake's loud groaning.

After a moment they both pulled out of me. I quickly rolled onto my other side, swapping heat for cold and iciness for warmth.

I snuggled my head into Edward's neck and laid an arm across his chest even as Jacob pressed himself more firmly against my back and threw one arm around my waist.

On cloud nine, I drifted to sleep.

Past

"The vampire and the werewolf asking the human they've both fallen in love with if she'd like to try dating them both and see what happens isn't funny to you?" Jake's laughter grew louder.

I felt my own uncontrollable laughter bubble up and burst out before I could stop it. "You guys are serious?"

Edward nodded.

Jacob shrugged. "You got a better idea?"

I didn't.

Author's Note: The rest of the story connecting the two scenes (and possibly further into the future) is all in my head and if there's enough interest I'll continue but I liked how this worked as a one-shot so much that I had to post it. Let me know if you'd like me to add to it!