The League of Extraordinary Individuals
A Fan-Fic by: D.W. Tyn
Author's Note: All members of the League and/or supporting characters are NOT owned by me and are owned by their proper copyright owners; only the plot is mine, and the main antagonist.
Chapter I: The League is Formed
London, England, M.I.-6, M's Office
As Agent James Bond silently walked in M's office, his icy blue eyes saw that M had her back turned viewing her over sized computer screen that displayed pictures of random people; some he knew from either reading their files or meeting them face to face; others of people he never saw before; there were some that looked like they were scene shots from random movies.
"You wanted to see me, M?" asked Bond as M jumped startled by Bond's quiet entrance. "Christ, Bond," she shouted as she turned her chair to face him. "Why must move so silently like that? Why didn't Ms. Moneypenny announce you?" Bond nonchalantly walked to one of the empty chairs that nearest to her desk.
"First, that is one of the main reasons you promoted me to 0-0 status." he said as he sat down. "And as for Moneypenny, she wasn't at her desk. I'm sure she would return shortly." M quietly considered sacking her for only the slightest second. "No matter. I would like to explain your latest assignment." She typed something on the wireless keyboard on her lap to display one of the pictures Bond noticed earlier. It appeared to be a security photo of a man dressed in blood red cloak and had on a red skull mask and a red skull cap on his head. "I think I saw this movie, M." Bond said in jest. "I'm afraid this is not from a movie, 007," she said rather sternly. "This was taken by a security camera in the head quarters of a secret organization known as The Company. The man in question, who prefers to be known as The Cardinal, has been breaking into secret facilities owned by different secret agencies; such as C.I.A., UNIT, and even the B.P.R.D. and Torchwood. Mainly for obtaining various magical relics, alien technology, and even prisoners with special abilities. The U.N. believes he is using these items and people to help him conquer the world. I need you to lead a group of individuals that have abilities of equal to their own; so you can prevent The Cardinal's plan, what ever it might be."
This made Bond almost burst out laughing. "M, I don't I qualify to lead such a team. I mean, I saved the world more than once over the years, but that doesn't mean I'm bloody Superman." M's face change from stern to almost nurturing, to Bond's shock. "Look, James; I know you're only a mortal man, but you're the best agent M.I-6 has to offer. I think you can lead the LEXI, and no one else." Bond slightly cocked his head. "I'm sorry, M, but what exactly is the LEXI?" M, slightly embarrassed by her forgetfulness. "Oh, LEXI is the name the U.N. decided to call your team. It's an acronym for League of Extraordinary Individuals." When she said that she pressed a hidden button on the desk, opening a secret passage behind a bookcase. Bond looked slightly amused as he followed M down the secret passage way. "A secret passage hidden behind a bookshelf, M? A bit of a cliché, isn't it?" M simply replied with out turning her head, "Why fix something that isn't broken, 007?"
As they ended the hall, M opened what looked liked a big wooden double door from the Victorian era. Inside was a conference room with Victorian décor. There were only three people sitting on one side of the conference table. One was a hulking man in a trench coat, smoking a cigar. The man had bright red shin, two horn stumps on his forehead, and giant right hand made out of stone. Beside him was a twenty-something man silently staring at the demon-man. He was wearing a white coat and a red shirt underneath it; he had brown hair and a handsome face. A few seats down was someone snoring under a fedora and a great coat, with seemingly old-fashion boots sticking out and resting on the table.
"Now for introductions," said M while closing the door as Bond came closer. "Of course, you met Hellboy before." Bond smiled as he remembered his encounter with the B.P.R.D.'s best operative. "How can I forget? How have you been, Red?" Hellboy slowly exhaled and looked Bond's way returning the smile,
"I can't complain, Jimmy boy?" Bond came over to Hellboy. "The of what I've gathered, you and Liz are pregnant." Hellboy just nodded and then put two stone finger and said, " Twins." Bond patted the father-to-be on the back. "Congratulations; I hope they inherit your good looks." Hellboy just chuckled and said, "Well, that makes one of us."
M walked over to the young man as he got up. "Special Agent James Bond," M said, business like; "May I introduced Mr. Peter Petrelli." Peter shook Bond's hand. "Please to meet you, Agent Bond." "Please," Bond replied, "call me James. So, tell me, what makes you 'special', Mr. Petrelli?" "Call me Peter, please," said Peter. "Well, to put it simply," he raise his hand to one of the bookshelves and a book leapt from it's place and into Peter's raised hand. "I can do anything." M snapped herself out of from what see just saw. "Mr. Petrelli has information on the man The Cardinal broke free from the Company." She looked over to Peter to fill Bond in. "The man this Cardinal guy freed is called Sylar. He's a serial killer, and, like me, he's special."
Just then a noise of laughter and erotic noises. The doors swung open "All right, everyone get naked. I'll count and you hi…" The speaker was a half undressed man with brown hair, bright blue eyes, a square-cut chin, and pearly-white surrounded by a puckish smile. What he was still wearing was a grey great coat, an unbuttoned blue over shirt revealing six-pack abs, and unzipped trousers with one suspender holding it aloft. "Hi, there. You're all just in time to play Naked Hide and Seek." There were two other people behind him that were also half-way undress; a woman and a man. Bond and M stared in disbelief, because they both knew the two. "Moneypenny," yelled M in shock and slight anger. "Tanner," said Bond in a mixture of shock and amusement. The two in question ran off like frightened rabbits. M started to go after them, but the man prevented her. "Oh come on, M," he said while he rebuttoned his shirt. "We were just having some fun. Surely you remember that kind of fun? You know, from our time together in the Sixties?" M scowled at him. "The only memory I can find, Jack, was when I punched you in the nose for cheating on me, you bastard." Jack put one hand on his heart, and the other on his nose. "Ah, even though I can't die, I can feel the kind of pain you gave me during certain climates. Speaking of my infidelity, How is your husband? Does he still got that stiff back?" That last remark did the impossible, it made M absolutely speechless. Jack just walked passed her to talk with the others. "Jimmy, long time, no see." He held his hand for his old friend to shake it. Bond, trying to be polite as humanly possible. just crossed his smiled and crossed his arms, not knowing where that hand had been and just said, "Harkness." Then, Jack came over to Hellboy. "H.B., I haven't seen you since our little fairy hunt two years back. You haven't returned my calls, naughty boy." Hellboy shrugged "What can I say, Jack?" He said playfully, "Your just not my type." Jack sighed "You're just playing hard to get, Big Red." He made his way to Peter "Hello there, Captain Jack Harkness, and who are you?"
Before Peter could reply, a course voice yelled from the sleeping man. "Oi! Could somebody please, shut that blighter up? I've got a maelstrom of a hangover, savvy?" The man took the fedora off of his face and on his head. Then, he got his trench coat off his body to reveal that, not only was he wearing old-fashioned boots, but old-fashioned shirt, vest, slacks, sash, and, what got the most eyes, an authentic 18th century sword and pistol. He had dreadlocked hair in a bandanna, a goatee that was also braided, and to most awkward glances (and to Captain Harkness's amusement) he was wearing mascara. Jack spoke up first "You know, I'd thought about wearing make up once, but why mess with perfection?" Instead of replying, the strange man put up a pausing finger in the oddest manner, took a flask from his coat pocket, took a greedy sip, put it back, and sat down again. M, recently recovered from Jack's words, walked over to the man. "And this," said M, "is Jack Sparrow." Sparrow mock-cough in an annoying manner. "Sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow," M corrected her self. Captain Sparrow then mock-coughed in an even more annoying manner. M just grunted and replied annoyed, "Captain Jack Sparrow, The Last Pirate." She then turned to Sparrow and asked, "There, happy now?" Sparrow smiled while putting his hands together as if praying. "Very. Thank you, Mrs." M scowled again "That's 'M' to you." She then turned the others. "There are two others who should've been here by now, but both are late."
With that a puff a blue smoke came out of thin air on top of the table, and was replaced by a man in a greatcoat. What made him stand out, besides the fact that he just appeared in a puff of smoke, was that he had blue skin, pointed ears and teeth, and a tail. "I'm sorry, I got lost," the blue man said in a German accent. "Am I in the right place?" He looked around, and seeing Harkness, Hellboy, and Sparrow, he just smiled and said, "Ja, I'm in the right place." Sparrow looked up at the newcomer, and glancing over to Hellboy as if for the first. "Oh, bugger" he said weakly, "I'm hallucinating; it's Davy Jones' Locker all over again." M walked over to reassure Sparrow, "No, Captain Sparrow, you're not hallucinating, it's just one of the other members." She turned once more to the other's "Everyone, may present Herr Kurt Wagner, AKA Night-Crawler, a member of the X-men, on loan by their leader, Ms. Ororo Munroe AKA Storm." Night-Crawler then disappeared and then reappeared sitting in an empty chair and simply said, "Guten-Tag."
And then, the doors opened again to reveal a beautiful woman with long brown hair tried in a pony tail and full lips. She was wearing a cotton T-shirt that held on tightly to her full breasts, a pair of hot-pants that exposed her long, gorgeous legs, and round sun-glasses. She had all of the LEXI team eyes on her. "Sorry I'm late, Auntie M," she said in a English accent and smiling as she came over to hug M's neck, "But traffic was murder. That, and your flunkies told me to give them my guns." M smiled after the woman's hug. "Sorry, Lara, but it's protocol. Even I can't change it" Bond eyes was having a field day. "I'm sorry," he said, "'Auntie' M?" M just cleared her throat. "Yes, well, may I present Lady Lara Croft. Archeologist, adventurer, and my god-daughter." There was a slight silence for a minute, until Harkness broke it by saying, "Now I really want to play Naked Hide and Seek." Lara simply gave him a promiscuous look and said, "Maybe later." Harkness smiled and winked. "Can I get that in writing?" M then shot an icy glance his way. "Now that you're all here you can be on your way to get two other members that couldn't join us. You will be given their details and the mission on the plane to the U.S. The next member of the LEXI team will be held in FBI custody, but the U.S. government has pulled many strings to get him on the LEXI team. Oh and be careful with him: He bites."
Author's Note: The James Bond in this story is the Daniel Craig Bond; I chose both Captain Jacks because I really wanted some conflict with each other; I chose Night-Crawler instead of Wolverine because Night-Crawler needs some time in the spotlight since he's so popular; and finally, M being Lara Croft's god-mother, brilliant move, eh? It came to me in a flash. So review; and next chapter: Flying the 'Friendly' Skies.