(Author's Note: Hello Readers. Sorry for the long delays. I tend to get side tracked. Anyways, this chapter shows The Scoobies of Buffy/Angel fame and they're friends with Hellboy and the BPRD. This is all AU. Spike did sacrifice himself to destroy Sunnydale, but the experts at the BPRD brought him back before Lindsey and his bosses the Seinor Partners did. Spike and Buffy are a couple again YAY! FYI, I'm a Spuffy man all the way. Angel has moved on so he can be a better Champion. Besides, he's with Cordie now, who's alive and well and also has more powers to serve the PTB. Conner never existed, but Illyria is around. And last and certainly not least, NO. FRAKING. IMMORTAL! So, any-who, Enjoy.)
Chapter Four: The Lexis and the Scoobies
Aboard the LEXI jet, from Quantico to LA.
As the jet left the ground, the other members gathered round Hellboy, for the information about their next destination "If I may ask the question that's on the rest of the crew's mind; since all of us save you three know," Sparrow asked after he greedily chugged down a small bottle of rum, "Who or what are these 'Scoobies'? And, out of my own curiosity, are they as ugly as that red ape-devil-demon-man…thingy?" Hellboy scowled at him and said, "Hey, watch it, rock-star." He turned his attention to the others. "The Scoobies are a group of people who fought monsters and demons in a California town call Sunnydale." Peter cocked his head. "Sunnydale, that name sounds familiar," he said. "Wait a minute; isn't that the Sunnydale that exploded into nothing than a crater a few years back?" Lecter spoke up, "Yes; I recall hearing about it. The FBI believed it to be a terrorist bombing. My dear Clarice was part of the case." Hellboy nodded, "That's right, doc. And, remember what I said about talking about Agent Starling like she's your girlfriend." Lecter merely held his hands up as a sign of defense. "However, it wasn't a bombing," Hellboy continued, "The fact of the matter is that the entire town was built on top of a Hellmouth." Lara spoke up, "And, pray tell us, what is a Hellmouth." Hellboy smiled, "I glad you asked, your ladyship. A Hellmouth is a gigantic yet mostly dormant portal that lead to the Hell Dimensions. Because of that, it was a hot-spot for all sorts of evil activity. The most majority of Nasties were Vampires."
"Hold on a sec," Peter said. "Are you saying that Vampires are real?" Hellboy raised an eyebrow. "Be fair, Pete. If demons, mutants, immortals, and a pirate walk this earth, why not Vamps?" Peter nodded, "You have a point." Hellboy then took a deep breath. "Technically, that particular kind of Vampire is a Blood Demon; that, class, is a type of demon that can only possess someone bitten by that type of Vamp and then given the blood of the one that bit them. They appear to be dead to the untrained eye during the day; but, when the sun goes down, they leave their eternal dirt-naps and join the ranks of the Undead. They may have kept the same memories and personalities of who they were when they were alive, but don't be fooled; they're just a bunch of soulless evil monsters that care only for blood, chaos, and carnage. Now, are there any questions?"
Kurt raised his hand, "You said 'that particular kind of Vampire.' Does that mean that those Blood Demons aren't the only kind of Vampire." Hellboy smiled while clapping in congratulations, "Well done; a gold star for our true-blue Mr. Night-Crawler for paying attention." He then eyed Sparrow sleeping and just starting to snore while sitting next to Dr. Lecter who simply sat there listening and watching with eerie silence. Hellboy locked eyes with him and nodded to Sparrow. Without any hesitation, Lecter pulled one of his beard-braids, forcing Sparrow to wake up in a startled yet comical manner. "Your absolutely right, Kurt," Hellboy continued. "The Vampires of Sunnydale aren't the only kind of Vampires out there. There's actually several different sub-species of Vampires; each with their own history, biology, traits, weaknesses, and abilities. The only thing they have in common is that they feed on not necessarily only blood, but any vital part that only be found with a living human being; from the kind that feed on blood or any other vital bodily fluids, to the kind that feed on a meta-physical level and feed on emotions or souls."
"Absolutely fascinating," Lecter said while scaring Sparrow while his guard was down. "The things I know already, and I've hardly even scratched the surface. What a extraordinary world we live in. How many sub-species of Vampire are there, exactly?" Hellboy thought about that for a moment before answering, "From the data the BPRD has collected about Vamps over the years, we've recorded about sixty-three known sub-species." Harkness then spoke up, "Technically, the number is sixty-four if you account for a race of mutated humans from a distant future in an alternate reality." Hellboy nodded in acknowledgement, "Oh, yeah, the 'Hemovores,' right? I always seem to forget them."
"WHAT ABOUT THE BLEEDING SCOOBIES," Sparrow yelled. "Relax, will ya; I'm getting there. Do us a favor, pirate-boy, and drink from your mystery flask." Sparrow did just that while Hellboy continued. "Anyway, the Scoobies are a great bunch of guys. First, there's Buffy Summers, the kinda-sorta leader of the group; she's a special kind of warrior that fights the forces of darkness called a Vampire Slayer. There's supposed to be one Slayer for every generation, but usually there can be more than one slayer if the current one only has a near-death-experience instead of kicking the bucket. However, There was a powerful spell that awaken the dormant Slayer powers in every potential Slayer throughout the entire world; that's also part of how Sunnydale turn into Crater-City. Then, we have Buffy's kid sister, Dawn. She's a sweet kid. You'd never know the fact that she was created by a bunch of monks from Buffy's essence so she be the key in opening the Hellmouth. Then, there's Willow Rosenberg; a great person and a powerful witch. She's been a bit down ever since she lost her girlfriend Tara during the events concerning the Hellmouth's collapse. It's a good thing she has Kennedy, another one of those Potential Slayers."
"Oh, a witch and a lesbian," Harkness said in his promiscuous voice. "I'm positive now then ever that I'm gonna love the Scoobies." Hellboy chuckled heartily, "I've should've known that detail would peak your interest even further, Jack. Anyway, There's also Xander Harris, a normal guy who helps the others fight the good fight. Then there's Rupert Giles, or simply Giles. He was Buffy's Watcher, or guardian/teacher/coach. He's now the head of the Watchers, a group of people that's older than the Bureau that aids of the Slayers and also watches the Supernatural world in order to protect the human race. He's okay; a little dull for my taste, but he would spend hours with my pal Abe and talk shop. The final two are a barrel of fun; Angel and Spike. They're Champions of Light and the funny thing is that they're Vampires with souls. Don't be fooled; just because they have souls doesn't mean they're the same. Angel's more of the brooding type and he originally got his soul from a Gypsy curse; and Spike's more of the Bad-ass type, and he went through many trials in order get a soul just so he can be with Buffy. It succeeded, but Spike sacrificed himself in order to force the Hellmouth to collapse. Luckily, the BPRD investigated the crater since we've knew about it for some time. Long story short, we used what we could to bring Spike back. Buffy has never been happier after that. It's a good thing Angel's over Buffy since they dated before his curse was broken and he lost his soul. It's back now, but he's moved on from Buffy and is now with Cordellia Chase, former Sunnydale Scooby and Seer to the Powers That Be, The bosses on high. They both work at a very unusual law firm called Wolfram & Hart. The firm provides a number of services for the Supernatural world. It was originally led by a bunch of inter-dimensional baddies called the Senior Partners; but after Angel, Spike, Buffy, and myself overthrew the Senior Partners, Wolfram & Hart's on the level and is under the joint management of the Watcher Council and Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense."
"And that's why," Bond said after Hellboy's piece, "we need they're help. With the help of Angel, Buff, and Spike, we may be able to figure out what the Cardinal is planning and stop it before something catastrophic happens."
The Law Firm of Wolfram & Hart, Los Angeles, CA
As the team entered the firm, with Hellboy leading the way, most of the team was surprised that despite of what they heard about Wolfram & Hart, the interior looked like an average high-class law firm. The only difference that there were an assortment of creatures that even made Kurt stare in disbelief. One particular creature smiled and waved at Hellboy, and walked over to the group. It was a male with green skin, red horns and red eyes, and the most unusual thing about him was that he was wearing a polyester lounge-suit. "Well, well, well," the green man said to Hellboy, "If it aint Old Lobster Claw." Hellboy greeted the man with a hearty handshake. "Well, well, well. If it aint Old Lounge Lizard. How've you been, Lorne?"
As the two demons greeted one another, Sparrow whispered to Kurt, "Blimey, how many colors do you blighters come in?" Kurt replied with an arched eyebrow, "You do know I'm a Mutant and not a Demon, Ja?" Sparrow stepped back while Lorne answered Hellboy. "With a song in my heart," he replied, "And a healthy green complexion. So, Red, who're your friends?" Hellboy slightly turned his head and pointed his stone thumb at his team-mates, "These are some friends of mine. Just going to Angel to ask him to join our club. You know the drill: Save the World. Defeat the Bad-Guy. Pulverize a few Nasties. Could you ring up Harmony and tell Angel that I'm here for a 'business proposition'?" Lorne shook his head, "No-can-do, Red. Harmony's been transferred to the office in Rome. I'm fine with that; she made a horrible cup of Java. However, her replacement is our top intern and friend to both of us. Let me give you a hint who it is. Ahem." Lorne then sang the first line of 'You Are My Sunshine' in a campy and hammy way. Hellboy nodded and smiled; getting the hint. "In that case," Hellboy replied, "Cancel the ring-up. I want to surprise her." Lorne nodded as he walked away. "Oh, also" he replied, "her big-sis and Witchie-Poo are helping her out." As the rest of the LEXI followed Hellboy, Harkness stayed behind to talk to Lorne. "You know I'm a good singer myself. How's about we do a duet sometime, eh?" Lorne cocked his head while thinking. "Well, you're a handsome devil; I'll give you that. But I make a habit to make sweet music with sopranos and not baritones and/or tenors. Sorry for the false advertising, but thanks any way." Harkness pouted slightly, then ran to the elevator where the group was after Bond yelled out his name.
As the elevator opened, the team sees a young women around her late teens with long brown hair and a happy disposition sitting at a desk; busy doing some paperwork. Hellboy raised a hand to halt the team, and went to the desk while the girl. "Hiya, Sunrise." he simply said. The girl suddenly looked up, let out a happy shriek, came around the desk, and jumped up to hug Hellboy's neck while shouting, "HB." Hellboy chuckled while gently hugging her. "I heard about you and Liz," she said as he put her down. "Congratulations." After that, two women in their twenties went around to see what was the noise about. One was blond wearing a fashionable yet sporty attire. "Hey there, big guy," the blonde said, "I didn't know you were going to stop by." Hellboy gave her a careful bear-hug. "Hey there yourself, Buff. Long time no see, huh?" While the other was a redhead wearing a dress of Celtic design. "RED" this one said to Hellboy. He replied "RED," as well as he hugged her too. "We've heard that you and Liz were pregnant with twins. May the Goddess bless them both." Hellboy smile and said, "Thanks, Willow. That means a lot for both of us. Are the others here?" Willow shook her head. "No; they're still working at the Slayer Camp in Cleveland."
"Don't I get a hug, Sandy Claws?" the British accented voice came from a tall man all in black; with bleached-blonde hair; thick eyebrows with a scar on the left one; and a freshly lit cigarette. Hellboy came up to him. "SPIKEY!" yelled Hellboy. "REDMAN!" said the Brit as they laughed an threw mocked punches at each other. Harkness was the first of the LEXI to speak up. "So this is the famous Buffy Summers. I thought you were a petite young thing, but I can see that you are certainly anything but." Buffy smiled and blushed at the compliment. "You must be Captain Jack Harkness of Torchwood. Hellboy has told me about you." Harkness smiled and said, "Oh, good things or bad thing?" He winked at her very saucily. "Not that I'm complaining." Spike ran up to Buffy and Harkness. "Oi, mate," he said as came between them, "quit chatting up my girl." Harkness cocked his head and smiled rather puckishly. "You know," he said, "You're a dead ringer for one of my ex-boyfriends. Same face; same attitude; he had a birthmark shaped like a pumpkin an his right buttock." He looked at Buffy, "Tell me, does Spike here have one too?" Spike put down his defenses and turned to Buffy. "Buff," he said. "I've seen a lot of things in my life. But now, I've seen it all: Someone who's a bigger poofter than Peaches."
"Peaches, who's that," asked Lady Croft. Hellboy spoke up. "Oh, that's one of the names Spike here calls Angel." That stoked Harkness' interest more. "Angel is GAY!" he asked in an excited tone. Buffy and Spike answered at the same time; only she said "No," and he said, "Yes." Buffy turned to Spike. "He is not, and you know it." She then punched him hard on the shoulder. Spike turned to the LEXI while rubbing his shoulder and said, "Believe it or not, this is her equivalent of a peck on the lips." Bond spoke up. "Yes, that's very fine and all that. But can we see Angel, please?" Dawn went back to her desk. "He's still in his office. Hold on, let me ri-." Before she could finish, a loud mixture of a breaking noise and an explosion came from one of the offices. "Let me guess," Peter said, "that's Angel's office." The Scoobies all nodded. Every one went into battle mode and head to Angel's office while Spike sighed and said, "Just and another day at sodding Wolfram & bloody Hart."
Next Chapter: Assault on Wolfram & Hart