Author's Note: This takes place that same night Reid wore his kilt.
Prompt Set #1
Title Challenge: The Blue Balls Lagoon
Inigo Montoya Said It Best
Rossi squinted at the motorist standing next to the disabled car up ahead of him.
Was that . . . it was.
He huffed . . . in his kilt. Dave had been teaching over at the Academy all day so he hadn't seen it for himself. But Hotch had mentioned it to him when he got back to office. And at that point Spencer had already left for the day.
Looks like he didn't get far though.
Hitting his directional, Rossi pulled off to the side of the road. Then he rolled down his window.
"Spencer!" He called out.
Reid spun around at the sound of Dave's voice.
Oh thank God!
He hurried over to the driver's side window, "Dave!"
As he peered out of his front window Rossi asked rhetorically.
"Yeah," Reid nodded vehemently as he rubbing his hands up and down his arms, "I called Triple AAA, but they said they're going to be a little while. And I uh, sorta, uh . . . kind of locked myself out of the car."
This was so embarrassing. The only thing worse than Dave coming along right now, would have been Derek. But he was getting desperate, he was freezing.
Lips twitching, Dave's gaze dropped down to Reid's bare legs and the skirt flapping around them.
It had been an incredibly hot and muggy day and they were due for major thunderstorms. The temperature had already dropped and the wind had picked up.
The sky was probably going to open up any minute.
So raising his eyebrow, Rossi looked back up to Reid's face.
"So did you want to stand here on the side of the road freezing your ass off, or would you like to get in and wait?"
Reid's eyes crinkled at Dave's usually soft hearted approach.
"I'd like to get in please."
As he hurried around the front of the car to get in on the passenger side, Dave tipped his head. And once he'd dropped into the front seat he shivered.
And then . . . seeing Dave looking at his bare legs . . . he turned to him a little warily.
"Are you going to make fun of my kilt too?"
"Nope," Dave shook his head firmly, "Never make fun of a man's heritage."
He'd heard from Hotch and Emily that Reid had taken quite a bit of ribbing today already. The kid had some serious guts showing up dressed like that. He might not always be the most 'socially astute' of the group, but he still had to have known he was going to take some crap.
Reid smiled, "thanks Dave."
Rossi's eyes crinkled slightly as he looked him over appraisingly.
"It must be pretty chilly though."
Reid shook his head, "man, you have no idea. My balls are blue!"
Stunned, Rossi stared at him for a moment before he burst out laughing.
"Kid," he chuckled, "uh, that phrase doesn't mean what you think it means."
Wrinkling his brow in confusion, Spencer looked across the front seat.
"It doesn't? But if your hands are blue it means their cold."
Damn. He hated when he got colloquial expressions wrong. That just made him look like a bigger geek.
Wiping the tears away from his eyes, Dave tipped his head as he looked back over in amusement.
"That is true." He cleared his throat, "but trust me, if your balls were blue, you would not be allowed to sit on my new leather seats."
Now utterly perplexed, Reid stared back at him, "well what does that phrase mean?"
Rossi's eyes dropped back down to Spencer's bare legs.
"Uh," he shook his head slightly, "how about we have that conversation tomorrow when you have pants on?"
He knew Spencer got easily embarrassed, and he was NOT going to be the one to tell him the origins of that phrase.
With a scrunch of his brow, Spencer looked down at his legs and then over at Dave's bemused expression. He shook his head in confusion.
"I don't understand."
Damn . . . Rossi bit his lip . . . the kid wasn't taking no for an answer. So he stared at him for a moment, trying to think of a solution to this problem he did not want to deal with. And then a thought popped into his head.
He put his finger up.
Emily looked down at her phone vibrating on her hip. Hotch glanced over.
"What is it?"
Furrowing her brow, she flipped it open.
"Um, text from Rossi . . . it says, hold on . . . 'tell Hotch I said ha!'"
Frowning, she looked across the front seat.
"Honey, what does that mean?"
Hotch shrugged, "I have no idea," he said as he hit the directional and looking over his shoulder to change lanes.
And he was just about to tell Emily to write back, when his own phone began to ring. When he glanced down he saw that it was Spencer. So he passed the phone over to Emily.
"Reid. Can you talk to him please?"
They were coming up to their exit and he needed to pay attention to the road.
Emily put it to her ear with a smile, "hi Spencer. What's up?"
"Hey, Em. Is Hotch there?"
"Yeah, we're in the car, but we're coming up to the exit. Is there something that I could help you with?"
Reid bit his lip, "well, I don't know. Dave told me to call and ask Hotch what blue balls are. You don't happen to know do you?"
As he lips began to twitch, Emily pulled the phone away from her ear. Then she held it out for Hotch.
"Um, it's for you."
A/N 2: The title. Inigo Montoya is of course Mandy Patinkin's character from The Princess Bride. And one of his best quotes from that was: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."
I may get some additional Reid centered ideas so I'm leaving this story open for now.