Maybe the Sam I knew and loved died at Cold Oak and I really did bring back something that wasn't 100% Sammy and I was too caught up in the fact that he was breathing and by my side again to realize it. He still walks talks and thinks like Sam. I mean most of the time he even wants to do the smart thing and follow my plan as opposed to going off half cocked. So, I suppose the logical Sam is still alive and well. He never went anywhere, but this independent, strong minded Sam isn't so bad. Most of the time I like him and I'm proud that I raised him into this strong minded, independent thinker who makes sure he is doing things intelligently as opposed to not thinking it all the way through and getting himself killed.
Dean: "What is it about Ruby that you just can't stay away from?"
Sam: "What are you talking about?"
Dean: "I'm talking about being at her beck and call. She rings your cell phone and your off and running in the middle of the night while I sleep. You even try to hide the calls from me. That's the part I don't get."
Sam: "It's just training. It's the same as you and Dad training when I was at Stanford. You never told me when you two were doing something. It's not a big deal."
Dean: "Not exactly. Dad and I were never having sex with demons for power and to me that is a huge deal. If it's not a big deal and it's not something that I haven't handled with dad, then why not include me in on the big fight? Why keep me in the dark?"
Sam: "I'm not having sex for power. I already explained to you why I am close to Ruby the way I am. It's your connection to Castiel that keeps Ruby from including you in on the big plans. She doesn't want the angels involved in this. Besides, Lilith is mine to deal with. She took you away from me and now it's my turn to end her. Why are you questioning me so much? What did I do to make you not trust me?"
Dean: "You're having sex with a demon to start with, Sam. Ruby is still a demon inside a human body. She's using her sexuality to turn you into this monster that kills things with your mind. Why can't you see that she is just stripping away your humanity layer by layer with this promise to kill Lilith and the mind training? She's trying to put us on opposite sides, Sammy. "
Sam: "How do you figure she's stripping away my humanity? You can't honestly think that Ruby is trying to dehumanize me with these powers she helped me develop. You're doing a good job of putting yourself on the opposite side right now, Dean. We're fighting the same fight. We want the same things, remember? I lost parents to Yellow Eyes too and not to mention this one way communication they have with me. I want it all to end too."
Dean: "There. You just said it yourself. Ruby developed them. You knew they were there and you chose to keep them quiet. You chose not to flip that switch in Cold Oak. You chose to survive the fight without special powers. You could've triggered them there and took over the army then and you chose to walk away from it. Now, you're bound and determined to trust Ruby fully that these powers are doing nothing to you. They're just exterminating a few pesky demons. Never mind the fact that you two are out there by yourselves and some of the demons could over power you at any given moment and drag you into hell for their own little games. Oh yeah, and there's the little issue of the massive nose bleeds and headaches you get."
Sam: "I don't get the headaches as much anymore. If anything, I'm getting stronger out there and that's not a bad thing. I'm not going to lose my humanity in this fight. I won't let go of it."
Dean: "How about bleeding to death or a brain aneurysm? Does that sound like a fair trade for these powers? Better yet, how about a fight with an angel that you can never win. I don't want Uriel smiting you because he doesn't think you're useful anymore. You don't want to get on these guys bad side."
Sam: "I'd like to think that you wouldn't let Uriel smite me. I am your pain in the ass little brother. You did sell your soul to save me and apparently, you're fighting with the angels for my health and well being."
Dean: "You just don't get that this can kill you. What's it going to take?"
Sam: "I hear you. I understand that you think this could kill me. I know what I'm doing and I know how to keep it from getting out of control. You're going to have to trust me on this one, Dean."
Meanwhile, Sam's phone rings.
Dean: "You're little demonic girlfriend is calling again. It must be time for another power fuck."
Sam: "She doesn't just call for a fuck."
He answers the phone and walks outside. That's exactly what I'm talking about. He has these conversations totally away from me.
With Sam outside,
Sam: "Hey Ruby."
Ruby: "Have you thought about my proposal?"
Sam: "I have and it sounds like a perfect idea. How do we set this up?"
Ruby: "You just keep Dean busy and I'll set everything in motion. I'll call you in an hour or two."
Sam: "All right."
They hang up and he comes back inside.
Dean: "Another midnight rendezvous?"
Sam: "No. No midnight rendezvous. She was checking on me."
Dean: "Isn't it sweet. She wants to make sure her little Sammy pooh is OK."