Don't Speak


"Suzaku... I...."

"Hush," the other boy answered, a finger to his lover's lips. "This doesn't change anything."

"But I—"

"And I don't want to live either, Lelouch," he answered, cutting him off gently. If Lelouch fully voiced his fear, his hope, his desire, Suzaku wasn't sure if he could take it away from him.

Lelouch gave out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, sitting up fully on the bed. The golden sheets slid off his pale torso, pooling around his lap. There were tears in his amethyst eyes, but they refused to spill down his cheeks as he held his voice barely in control. "So everyone gets what they want besides us? How is that fair?"

Suzaku smiled sadly, and pulled Lelouch into a soft embrace. Lelouch's silky black hair tickled his cheek and he whispered into the Emperor's ear. "Our lives were never fair, Lelouch."

"But there's so much I-I-...." Lelouch's voice broke and he clung to Suzaku suddenly like a lifeline. The tears spilled over, sliding down to meet Suzaku's shoulder.

"Lelouch...." Suzaku held him close, and felt his heart break. What comfort could he really expect to give to the man he planned to kill? He reached out dark-skinned hand and ran it up and down Lelouch's smooth back soothingly. Lelouch continued to cry, his body shaking with the effort of trying to hold everything in.

"I don't want to die!" Lelouch cried out, the agony evident in his strangled sobs. His fingers held on tightly, turning Suzaku's skin a matching shade of white. "I don't want to go, Suzaku! Not when I-I... know.... Su-suzaku."

Lelouch pulled back out of Suzaku's gentle hold, tear-stains shining on his face, eyes like the surface of a lake at night. It tore at Suzaku's heart, the image clawing inside and settling there. He knew he'd never forget it, as long as he lived. Golden sheets gently caressing a pale body, the slender torso held aloft, raven-black hair silkier than the sheets, violet eyes asking for forgiveness, tenderness, and hope that Suzaku shouldn't give him.

"Suzaku... I...." Lelouch began, those beautiful eyes settling on Suzaku's own green ones. He couldn't take it anymore; he knew what Lelouch wanted to say and knew just as well that he couldn't let him. Suzaku couldn't lose anyone else who said those words to him.

With strength he didn't know he had, Suzaku pulled Lelouch to him suddenly, breaking eye contact and Lelouch's train of thought. "Don't speak just now, Lelouch," he breathed and kissed him again.

I love you too, Lelouch.


So, I think after the Gundam 00 fics on Hallelujah and Allelujah, I realized it's okay for me to write short things and post them. (Even sans beta or triple checking it myself.) I think I've got a little anal about posting things less than 10 pages up, so... here's a single page for you all. And about Suzaku and Lelouch! Yay! No, really, I wish I had time to develop this further, because... it could be so much angstier. *blinks* I mean, uh, powerful. Anyway, the only time Lelouch seems to worry about his own upcoming death is when he finds out Nunners is still alive. Which I find shocking and I don't believe it: accepting death is not an easy thing, especially if he has to look forward to his own.

Anyway, please leave a review, even though the story's short.