Let me Go.
Written By; Harley-Mac.
Inspired by; Christian Kane Song titled Let me Go & Jeff Hardy.
Date Written; 4th March 2009.
Cameron; North Carolina;
'They were sittin' on his tailgate, she was lovin' on his rough neck, she was talkin' 'bout runnin' away, he was puffin' on his cigarette, just thinkin' how am I gonna say goodbye?'
My arms wrapped around the slender trembling frame of my girlfriend as she sobbed in to my shoulder about the arguement that she had just had with her Parent's. For 6 months we had been dating; after meeting in the queue to go and see Iron Man the movie at the local movie plex. The scent of her misty perfume had been what captured my attention at first and as I looked around my eyes had landed on the perfect vision of beauty.
Long, silken looking black and blood red hair burned in to my memory as large chocolate brown eyes met mine and the bright smile that she flashed in my direction had been it all over for me. I had drank in the amazing shape of her body under the figure hugging black hipster trousers and the high heeled boots with the cream off the shoulder mid riff jumper that seemed to just draw my attention to the small sliver of milky white flesh that flashed from under the woolen clothing.
Before I had been aware of what I was doing, I had walked over to her and introduced myself to her and she had spoken in one of the sexiest accents that I had ever heard as she said her name was Harley and she knew who I was. Of course she knew who I was. I wasn't being conceited when I said that, it was just common knowledge around here that everyone knew who I was.
Without thinking about it, I asked her to join me when we moved in to the same theatre for the movie, so she had excused herself from the group of girls that she was with and we had sat together to watch the movie. It had been like torture, having the powerful, almost aphrodisiac effect of her perfume invading my senses with every breath I took until it truly felt like she was the only thing running through my veins; keeping my heart pumping.
It had taken every last inch of my own self control not to lean over and kiss her right there and then. Throughout the movie, her fingers would lightly brush against mine as she helped herself to handfuls of my popcorn and the sparks of chemistry were stronger than I had bargained they would be. After the movie we had gone to get a coffee and it had been then that I had found out just how old she was. At 17 she seemed more mature for her age than most girls I met lately so I had found myself asking for her number.
I had called her the next day, I had tried telling myself that she wasn't as great as she had appeared the previous night but damn it the minute I heard her voice, I couldn't stop myself from asking her out again, but first I wanted to meet her Parent's, something about this girl had made me want to do things the right way and with me being 21, it was obviously going to make her Parent's uncomfortable to know that she was going out with someone who was 4 years older than her without meeting him beforehand.
I had thought that I had prepared myself but nothing could have prepared me for the way they had looked down their nose at me, and talked to me in a patronizing tone as if I were some backwards hick who wouldn't be able to understand the big words that the Father threw at me. From what Harley had told me, her Father was a big time surgeon and her Mom was a big deal in the law world and it was clear from the moment they saw me, that I was absolutely not the image of the man they had in mind for their daughter.
'He said girl you got it good here, you don't need to mess with, a guy going nowhere, she said how's about Texas, he got up and shook his head then he said, Ain't you been listening; it's never gonna work out, And I think it'd be a good time now to...'
It was tearing at my insides to know that I was the cause of this pain that she felt, the way she was crying almost in some form of melt down that she couldn't control no matter how much she tried. I fought to keep her grounded, I fought to support her and calm her down but the more I ran my hand up and down her back and through her hair, the harder my decision was becoming to stand by.
"We could just go...head out to Vegas, lay low for a while since you have some time off!" She said pulling back and looking up at me with those same large eyes that had captured me from the moment I first saw them.
I was like a fly caught in a spiders web whenever she looked at me and she knew it, she knew exactly how to wrap me around her little finger and in all honesty I wouldn't have it any other way. Looking at her, I however, saw the way she had aged over the course of our 6 month relationship. The way she had grown determined after all the fighting she did at home with her Parent's over me.
They had allowed us our first date, but the minute she got home they forbid her to see me again. Of course that hadn't stopped her, she had waited until they had fallen asleep that night, climbed out of her bedroom window and made her way to my place, knocking on the door she fell in to my arms when I opened the door.
"Harley, baby...this isn't good for you, this isn't how your life should be..." I started as the lyrics of the song caught my attention again.
'Let me go, you don't need me baby, Stop holding on the way you are, Don't you know I'm no good for you, And it'll only break your heart, if you don't let me go,'
"I don't care, I am not giving you up! I won't, I can't...when we are apart, its...life doesn't feel right, when you are in your bed and I am in mine, all I can think about is seeing you again and I won't let them ruin that for me, not when they won't even give you a chance,"
After that first night of her turning up on my doorstep, it became almost a regular occurance, they refused to allow her to see me and wouldn't pass on my messages when I called, the refused to allow me to talk to her when I turned up on their doorstep. That didn't bother me, I didn't mind that people labelled me, but it bothered me that they weren't listening to their daughter, they weren't giving her credit for being a good judge of character and it got to the point where I had started to wonder whether it was more about just disagreeing with her than wanting what was actually best for her.
If they had listened to her and trusted her, they would see that I loved their daughter, and that no one on this planet would be able to love her the way that I did.
We had been seeing one another for 3 months before we slept together. I could still remember it as if it had happened yesterday; she had been forbidden to see me, we had tried to get together as much as we could, whether it be after her Parent's had fallen asleep at night or during the day when she was supposed to be in school. It had gotten so bad that I had ended up getting her a cell phone so I could call her and I would pick her up from her house when everything was silent and still.
It was one day, I had just come home from being on the road for a week, I missed her so badly when we were apart that the minute I arrived home, I called her, told her to meet me outside of the school in 20 minutes. We had driven straight back to my place, and from the minute we started kissing it was like there had been a change in the air and we had stumbled in to my house.
The soft feel of her flesh, the scent of her misty perfume stronger with every layer of clothing I removed, the tremble in her frame as we fell to the sofa in the front room of my home, touching one another, kissing one another, tasting one another. Making love to her was draining because of how strongly I felt for her, it rocked through every single inch of my body and the more I took of her, the more I wanted and the more she gave.
Everything about her seeped in to my soul that day, it was in that exact moment of coming together that I uttered I loved her for the first time and as if it had been what we had both been waiting for; our hunger for one another was ignited fiercely through touches, kisses, moans, flicks of our tongues and the grinding of our hips.
'He said I nothing but a dreamer, I ain't nothing but a drifter, You can do a lot better, he leaned over and he kissed her, He said you got another year of college, and a good Momma and a Daddy, And me I got 93 dollars and this old '82 chevvy, so let me go...'
"A good Mom and Dad? You have to be kidding me!" She spat pulling away from me and lighting her own cigarette as we both stared out to the sparkling lights of the city below our favourite make out spot. "They hate me, they don't want me to be happy, they don't want me to have the love of the one man that I love more than anything in the world..."
"You are worth more than me, you are worth more than what I can give you..."
Looking in to her eyes, she was watching me with curiousity in her beautiful dark eyes as she inhaled deeply on her cigarette and blowing smokes rings in to the air between us. I hated seeing her so defeated, I hated the way they made her so upset and almost down trodden to the point where sometimes she just seemed to want to give up.
I didn't want to be the cause of her feeling like that and I was the reason whether she could see it or not, I was the one causing all these problems for her, I was the one making her home life difficult and her social life non existant because we fought to spend every free moment together.
"We should go somewhere that they wouldn't think of, I mean I thought Vegas but what is the point if we're not getting married, and I am not ever getting married, where do you want to go baby?"
Watching her, I could see that she wasn't backing down on this, she was as stubborn as they came and nothing anyone said would change her mind once it was made up.
'Let me go, you don't need me baby, Stop holding on the way you are, Don't you know I'm no good for you, And it'll only break your heart, If you don't let me go...'
I knew Jeff better than he realized, the connection that we shared with one another was more deeply connected to us than even he realized and I didn't care what my Parent's said, I wasn't giving him up. I wasn't walking away from him and if running away was the only way to get my point across then so be it because I was not walking away from him. Not now! Not ever!
But I knew Jeff, he would sacrifice his own happiness to make sure that I wasn't being compromised in anyway. I knew that he loved me that much that he would willingly be unhappy if it meant that I would be happy and have a hasslefree life.
'She said nice try, but you can't hide behind those shades that're on your face, You see I don't think you're all that tough, I just think you're scared of love, And I think that I won't take up that much space,'
"I don't want to go anywhere Harley, I don't think that this is working anymore, it is just too much hassle," He said clenching his fists together as his huge powerful arms wrapped around his knees.
"Too much hassle? You really expect me to believe you when you say that?"
I knew him, I knew that when he refused to look in to my eyes it meant that he was lying, I knew that when his body tensed the way it was right now, he was lying and I knew that when his breath turned shallow he was lying and all signs pointed to the fact that he was lying his ass off.
"I don't really care what you think, I am telling you that I don't love you..."
"So maybe we could go to Virginia, you know close but not too close..."
"Are you even listening to me?" He turned and looked in to my eyes, all the hardness of his words evaporated by the softness in his stare, the concern sparkling in his beautiful tiger like eyes.
'Let me go, take me with you baby, It's so cold outside your arms, And we both know that you're not as strong, as you think you are, so let me go, take me with you baby, I belong where you are, Don't you know, I'm so good for you, and it'll only break your heart down the road, if you don't let me go...with you baby,'
"Is there any point in arguing with you?"
"Not really!" I shook my head and smiling at him. "Jeff I love you, and you can say you don't love me but I know you do, I know that I mean as much to you as you mean to me and that is why I can't let you go,"
"You should let me go...you have all the advantages of having a good Family, with all the privilages of coming from a rich home, I have nothing to offer you...I'm not good enough for you,"
"Bull!" I stated calmly but fiercely.
Just because my Parent's looked at him and couldn't see past the multi coloured hair, or the unique way he shaved his beard, or the tattoos that he had or the way he spoke, and the profession that he did for a living. They were the ones missing out; they couldn't see the amazing, kind hearted, loving and caring man that Jeff was, they couldn't see the way he loved me, or the way he treated me like a princess, or the unconditional support that he gave me, or the way he kissed me so tenderly and passionately, or the way he only had eyes for me.
Jeff Hardy was everything that a good Parent would want for their daughter, he was respectful, he was caring and compassionate, he was tender and passionate and most of all he knew how to treat me right.
Slipping off the hood of his car, he turned to look at me, his eyes burning in to mine, he reached for me and pulled me close, his lips catching my own in a hungry kiss that said he had let go of the stupid notion that he wasn't good enough for me when that just simply wasn't true.
Lost in his gorgeous eyes I could feel my heart thumping erratically against my chest as I remembered the first time I had seen him in the movie plex where I had been with my friends where we had planned to see Iron Man.
I had caught him moving threw the lobby and it was almost like something caused him to stop and turn around, his tiger eyes met mine and that had been it all over for me, I was his, I would be his forever, wherever he went; was home for me. We had talked, we had watched the movie then went for coffee and the more we talked the more I liked him. Of course I had known who he was, my best friends little brother loved watching wrestling and of course there were the rumours that Jeff and Matt Hardy had gone to our school.
I had always thought that he was hott, but when I had seen him in person I was blown away by just how good looking he had been. The TV and photos did not do my man justice and even now 6 months down the line, I was still as attracted to him as I had ever been and I don't think that I would ever tire of just looking at him.
"You're absolutely sure you want to do this?" He asked breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against mine, our eyes locked together and both of us lost in one another.
"Never been more sure!" I nodded.
Holding on to him tightly, I would fight for him, I would do what I had to, to be with him because I couldn't even remember the time when we hadn't been together. Jeff Hardy was my everything, he was my whole world and I wasn't about to let my Parent's small minded attitude ruin my life and the love I shared with this man.
"Then there will be no running, we are gonna sit this out! I want you with me and in 3 months on your 18th, you are moving in with me!" He said determined.
The feel of his thumbs gently wiping the tears from my face away, as I bit down on my bottom lip to stop from crying out in happiness.
"I love you Harley, I never want to be apart from you and if that means you have to chose, then I just hope that you can chose me,"
'Let me go...with you baby, Just let me go...yeah, yeah...with you baby!'
R/N - This is a one shot that I wrote to my favourite Christian Kane song, I hope that you enjoy it. Thank you for all your support and encouragement, you guys mean the world to me and I love you all to bits.