Seven Sweets Riku Never Got Into and One He Totally Did


Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix and Disney; Harry Potter to J.K Rowling.

A/N: Crack. Fluff. Humor. TWT (but they'd be around 16-17 I think) Kingdom Hearts- Harry Potter crossover. By which I mean KH characters set in the Harry Potter world, particularly Hogwarts. Because every fanfic author has to write one, clearly. This was based on a cracky conversation and ensuing plotbunnies way way back when I first got into KH. So. Cheers. It sees the light of day.

Done for 30_kisses, prompt: Candy. I'm sure you'll be able to tell which was the One he got into by the end.

It all started when somebody sent Riku sugar quills in the Great Hall at breakfast.

Roxas had been piling his plate high with waffles, sausage, and some butter and marmalade with a thin coating of toast. He'd been reaching over for a pitcher of pumpkin juice when the post arrived. The boy cursed softly as he dodged a weaving owl, picking a stray feather from his food and glaring grumpily at the snickers from his seatmates around the Slytherin table. The glare shut them up. Roxas had had 'a talk' with some of the seventh years. Being the Slytherin Seeker helped, too.

Sora immediately bounced over to their table, cheerfully ignoring the occasional dirty look from both Gryffindor and Slytherin sides. After a few months of the same glares and Sora's enthusiasm, only the die-hard House elitists were left. Roxas nodded to his twin, not really up for Sora-chatter before he gulped down breakfast and headed for Herbology.

Kairi, after an exchange of giggles with her posse of Gryffindor girls, walked over, too. Namine had already quietly saved her a seat at the Slytherin table.

"What's the fuss, this time?" Kairi asked teasingly, settling down on the end of the bench and winking at a Slytherin third year who was staring at her. The boy blushed and concentrated fiercely on his porridge.

"You guys don't have to be here, you know," Riku said pointedly, crossing his arms over his green and silver tie. A school owl had dropped off a package in front of him. A pretty green affair with a black silk ribbon. He'd been receiving them for close to two months, now, every week, always by owl post.

Roxas rolled his eyes and swallowed his waffle. "And you should stop putting up so much of a fight. 'S only gonna make it worse," he added sagely.

"Open it already," Sora said, leaning over the table to steal a sausage from Roxas' plate. He got off easy with a half-hearted glare from the blonde.

Riku scowled and tugged the ribbon free. Tissue wrapper fell apart neatly to showcase a package of what looked like feathers bundled together and a neat little card containing the usual 'from an admirer'.

"Geeze, Riku, you just never stop being popular."

"Maybe you should win a few games of Quidditch, then," Riku remarked, sweeping the wrapping away and taking one of the feathers out as Sora hotly contested the claim. Riku tuned most of it out, well used to the banter. Besides, Sora was a great Seeker. He just didn't have Roxas' turn of … creative guile.

"…and I'm still faster than you, on a broom!"

"I'm a Keeper, going 150 miles an hour isn't my job."

Riku spun the quill around one finger. Upon closer examination, it turned out the unnatural gloss wasn't wax, but caramelized sugar. Sugar quills. It was candy, just like the past few presents. He had to give the admirer points for obstinacy. Maybe it was a Hufflepuff after all?

"Are you sure you haven't seen anyone sneaking around, Namine?" Riku asked.

The blonde girl shook her head, tapping a pencil (she never got used to quills) against her chin. "I've been keeping watch in the common room, but I really didn't see much. Lots of girls like Riku, but none of them looked like they were sending anything."

"Maybe whoever it is has been talking to Sora too much. You know, best friend-ly advice." Kairi offered.

"Nah, it's wrapped in green. Plus, it's too tasteful for a Gryffindor," Roxas added wickedly. Three months in and none of them really thought of each other by their House, but it didn't stop them from teasing. Sora and Kairi both made faces at him.

"What about here? Anybody with the hots for Riku in his own house?" Kairi raised an eyebrow. She had turned a little in her seat, braiding Namine's hair and charming flowers into the twists of hair.

Roxas considered it, carefully hiding the slight panic that rose in his throat. It was true that Riku had gathered a following of sorts in his House. But most of them seemed to look down on both boys for being foreign and not descended from European pureblood wizarding stock. The girls who did follow him around did so discreetly.

"I don't see anyone here drooling over him, do you?" Besides me. He viciously kicked the part of his mind that had had that traitorous thought. So he was having Morning Problems, lately. He was a teenager. He'd live. He didn't like Riku That Way. It was just that all this House stuff was making them spend more time together than strictly healthy for a couple of teenaged boys who used communal showers every morning.

"So that leaves Ravenclaw," Sora said matter-of-factly. "Can you see anyone with brains picking Riku?"

"Hey, I don't see candy headed your way."

"People give me candy all the time."

"Yeah, Sora, then they pat you on the head and ask if you want to go into the car."

"That was once."

"They pat you on the head, anyway."

"I'm just popular!"

"With little old ladies," Roxas agreed and took a long and satisfying gulp of cold pumpkin juice.

Riku miscalculated the spin of his Sugar quill and picked it up from his plate. He made a face. "Anyway, shouldn't you guys be getting back to your tables soon? Breakfast won't last forever."

"What, we can't hang out with Mr. Popularity?" Kairi asked, liberating an uneaten waffle from Riku's plate and splitting it with Namine.

"Namine! There you are!" A sandy-haired boy skidded to a halt at the Slytherin table, a bag slung over his shoulder and papers trailing in his wake. "We still have that History of Magic project to work on, remember?"

The blonde girl gasped, then immediately got up. "Sorry, I have to go," she said with a small, chagrined smile.

"Sora!" One of the Gryffindor boys called- the team captain. "I need to talk to you about this week's training." Sora winced visibly and scratched the back of his head before getting up, too. "Right, right, " he called.

Watching them both go, Kairi huffed. "Oh, fine, I suppose I should go, too. Don't think we'll stop coming over for the unveilings, though," she added, chirping.

She left just as all the students collectively realized class would be starting in fifteen minutes. Roxas looked wistfully after his breakfast. He was only half-finished!

"Come on, we'll be late for Herbology." Riku sighed and put a sugar quill in his mouth.

Roxas stared.

"What? I can't let it go to waste."

Roxas nodded and pretended Riku hadn't gotten his question wrong.

Then again, he'd be pretty screwed if Riku had read 'Can you do that to me?' correctly.


Riku, it turned out, liked sugar quills. A lot. By 'like', Roxas really meant 'orally molests at opportune moments' such as when Roxas was trying to concentrate on Transfiguration.

The tip of a quill brushed against Riku's lips, tracing his lips before ducking in between soft, pale lips, moistening… A flash of teeth and Riku was nibbling on…

Roxas hurriedly waved his wand, barely missing poking the neck of the girl in front of him. Whose stupid idea was it to give him a 13-inch wand, anyway? It was barely manageable, it poked his elbow when he holstered it in his sleeve and shoving it in his pants was a bitch. Sora's had the same phoenix core, but at 10 inches, it was a lot more manageable (not to mention less bipolar, as wands went).

"Caleo," he muttered, mentally crossing his fingers. The teacup he was working on started to wobble and…

The blonde stared balefully at his dancing (more like wriggling- Kairi, seated next to him, rescued his papers when the tea sloshed over) teacup, quite sure that wasn't what it was supposed to do. Other than that, it had also managed to grow Christmas lights.

"Jab, not flick," Kairi admonished from his left. Her teacup was peaceably inanimate, and gushing pink ("I like it," she said, turning her nose up.) steam.

Scowling, Roxas shunted the teacup to the side and resolved to try again, reaching for the box of fresh cups.

"Problems, Rox?" Riku asked from his right.

"No," the blonde grit out.

Riku, of course, was having a lot less trouble than him. Bastard. Sora was doing just as well, though, which probably stirred up both of their unholy senses of competition. I was even worse now that it had a backdrop of house points. Both of their teacups were steaming, though the colors weren't quite right. Sora's was a cheery red with black spots, while Riku's had turned a light golden yellow. Why a guy like Riku liked yellow so much was anyone's guess. But weird colors or not, at least they weren't making a fool of themselves with magic.

If it came to that, Roxas had a pretty healthy competitive streak, too. Scowling as his teacup leaped to try to bite his nose, Roxas caught it in one hand and decided that something had to be done. Soon.

Enough was enough. So what if he couldn't ask Riku to stop molesting sugar quills with his tongue without raising all sorts of awkward questions? It was time to show some House spirit.


"What's that?" Riku asked, pointing at the large canvas pouch Roxas had tied to his bag loop as they walked to class. He skipped the trick step on the staircase and waited patiently for Roxas' answer.

"Candy," the blonde answered simply, "want some?"

Riku blinked. "You got all that for yourself?"

Roxas frowned, flustering slightly. "What's wrong with that? We can't all have your adoring fanbase."

"I guess," Riku admitted carefully.

Rolling his eyes, the blonde popped a large chocolate ball into his mouth, chewing noisily with loud, slurping sounds.

When he looked up, Riku's shifting blue-green eyes were transfixed, a curiously blank expression on his face. Ignoring this, Roxas selected another chocolate ball filled with vanilla mousse, licking cream off his fingers delicately afterwards. A Hufflepuff walked into a Ravenclaw, creating a commotion in the corridor. That was a little weird, but Roxas ignored them.

"You should really try some of this chocolate, Riku," Roxas chirped.

Riku kept glancing over all during Charms class, sending Professor Flitwick flying with an accidental banishing charm when the good professor trotted over to check how their row was doing.

Roxas basked in smug certainty that his plan was working. Soon, Riku would forget all about his oral fixation on sugar quills for nice, wholesome, non-suckable chocolate and leave Roxas to study in peace.


Except, damn him, he seemed to be sucking quills more than ever!

They were lounging around on the grounds, Roxas' back propped up against a tree while Riku leaned back on the blonde's knees, his potions text open on his lap. Riku's hair pooled on Roxas' lap, bright new silver against the black of his robes, some of them caught like gossamer web in the dip between knees. Both boys were slightly disheveled, loosening ties and unbuttoning shirts in the unseasonably warm weather. Riku's Slytherin tie was somewhere around Roxas' ankle, his robes open and spilling onto the grass.

All this wouldn't have been so bad, except Riku had taken out a sugar quill and was currently avidly sucking at the stupid candy feather in between writing a hasty essay.

What did it take to get someone to stop goddamn sucking? Riku had already asked for Roxas' chocolate balls yesterday, but hadn't switched sweets. Roxas thankfully got paired up in Arithmancy with some aloof Ravenclaw boy, but the distraction simply couldn't go on. Roxas discreetly re-inked his non-sugar quill, eyes drifting lazily in the general direction of Riku's open shirt. Definitely couldn't.

"Hey, does aconite react with mermaid tears?" Long fingers reached up and tugged at Roxas' blonde hair teasingly.

Looking at Riku's face, Roxas immediately regretted it. The other boy had bits of sticky sugar on his lips, thin glass-like shrapnel from when he'd bitten off the tip of his Sugar quill. His hand was halfway up before he realized friends didn't just brush their fingers over friends' lips.

"Check chapter 15," he said instead, shifting his knees abruptly away. Riku cursed and caught himself on the grass, glaring at Roxas.


Over the next few days, Roxas tried anything and everything to tempt Riku's sweet tooth with.

One day he'd shove a handful of pepper imps at him and the next, extol the virtues of levitating sherbet balls. He'd had to explain away the chocolate frog that had hopped into the professor's beard during Care of Magical Creatures. He even offered Riku blood pops. But that plan was shot to threads when he realized Riku was capable of being even more obscene with his mouth stained red.

So here he was hunched over his desk, moaning softly as one peppermint toad too many jumped in his stomach. Utterly miserable, he laid his chin on the wooden tabletop of one of the Library desks and rubbed at his stomach, glaring at all the curious onlookers who stopped and stared. One of the boys started for him, but Sora came by before he reached him.

"You ok?" The boy asked, settling on a nearby chair backwards and folding his arms on the edge of the chair's back.

"Stomachache," Roxas muttered, pointing to the bag of candy toads with a roll of his eyes.

"You shouldn't eat so many," Sora said primly.

He wouldn't have, except Riku seemed to have been promisingly entranced by the peppermints as Roxas curled his tongue around the toad before swallowing. He'd taken it as a good sign.

"Well, if you get better soon, I was thinking we could race around the castle- see which one of us is faster once and for all." Sora grinned and leaned closer, the front legs of his chair leaving the ground.

"So there you guys are," Riku interrupted, tipping Sora's chair back onto it's proper position with a thump. Sora squawked indignantly. "Roxas? You're looking a bit… Should you go to the Infirmary?"

Roxas shook his head. "Just stuff pummeling inside me," he said dully.

Madame Pince glared at the trio when Riku inhaled dust from a book, coughing uncontrollably.


Roxas was in a foul mood when he strode across the grounds, still in full Quidditch gear. His boots made satisfying thumps on the hard ground, kicking up little bits of grass and dirt in his wake. Sora had won the last race, what with Roxas' stomach fluttering and jumping every time Riku… even though the toads shouldn't have lasted that long.

Feeling distinctly disgruntled and generally put upon, he entered the school owlery, grabbing a handful of treats from the box near the door before looking up and whistling softly. The ceiling seemed miles and miles above him, a dim reverse-well filled with feathered clumps and the occasional large, sleepy eye staring down at him. The musty bird smell of the owlery permeated the air, sunk into the very stones.

Somewhere near the top, a rotund bundle disengaged from its roost, gliding down to Roxas in a cascade of feathers. Smiling, Roxas held out his arm. Dusk settled on it, hooting softly and blinking at him, crooning when it saw the treats. Carefully steady, the blonde teen sat down on one of the benches at the inner region of the tower, petting Dusk's silvery feathers and getting an occasional gentle nip.

At least someone likes me, he thought wryly. Sora still had trouble getting the finicky owl to tolerate him, despite all of Sora's protests that animals always liked him. Roxas had told him that Dusk must be allergic to Gryffindors airily, while Riku had laughed and fed the owl a strip of bacon. Sora had pouted at him for a full day before Roxas offered his share of pumpkin pie. Sora had thrown it at his face. Kairi declared war and shot peas at all the boys before Riku threw up an empty metal plate to defend both him and Roxas. They had all ended up laughing breathlessly with whipped cream on their noses.

A soft creak and the door to the Owlery opened. Roxas looked up, startled. Nobody ever went here at this hour… It was too close to dinnertime.

A shifty Slytherin girl entered the tower, nose scrunching up at the smell of droppings as her feet stirred the hay on the floor. In her hands was a very familiar-looking package with a similarly familiar note magically affixed to it.

"It was you?" Roxas demanded, shock overriding his discretion. Dusk hooted and took off, flapping onto a low perch.

Peony Parkinson turned around. "What are you doing here?"

Standing in front of him in pink boots was the entire reason. "You can't just keep sending him stuff," he said, scowling. "Riku doesn't even like you!"

Peony sniffed delicately. "What would you know?"

Roxas twitched, hand closing around the wand tucked into his Quidditch robes. It would be so easy to hex her, he decided, even with only the minimum arsenal they had learned in the short summer before school started. "Let me put it this way, Parkinson. You can stop this right now, or you can hole up in the dorm for the rest of the year when I tell everyone about your little… 'secret'. In the worst way possible. I bet the Gryffindors still know all the lines to the song you wrote to the Hufflepuff Captain."

"You wouldn't!" she exclaimed, hands flying to mouth. Then her expression turned sly. "What do you care, anyway? You know, everyone's been talking about how queer you are. You and that Gryffindor twin of yours keep hugging in the hallways."

She thought she could blackmail him. Roxas almost drew his wand out. But that would have been an express train to detention. Not to mention a bit too Gryffindor, which to this pureblood Slytherin, would only be laughable. Pretending the threat had never happened, he stepped a little closer.

"I'm giving you a chance, Parkinson, seeing as we're Housemates and all." He took the package from her hand in one, quick swipe, tossing the parcel from hand to hand like it was a particularly big snitch. "But if I see you giving anything to Riku again, I'll make the little tricks Greengrass got a mercy."

The girl's eyes widened. Roxas had never actually confirmed it was his work.

"I'll take care of this for you," Roxas said sweetly, and left, the package in his hand. He dumped the gift in the nearest trash bin he could find on the way to the Great Hall.


By breakfast the next day, all of Hogwarts knew Roxas and Riku were dating.

"What?" Roxas yelped as a girl tearfully glared at him and another assured him that she fully supported their decision to 'come out'. The girl's grip on his hand had left his fingers numb. He was trying to massage some feeling back into them when another Gryffindor girl threw a Dungbomb at his head. He dodged. It hit another Gryffindor who immediately retaliated.

Sora and Kairi were laughing, clutching their sides and gasping for breath in between earsplitting laughter. Namine kept beaming at them as she comforted her fellow disappointed Hufflepuffs. It looked like Riku had most of the Hufflepuff females under his silver-haired sway. More importantly, none of them offered any help or stood up for them when Roxas vehemently insisted that it wasn't true. Some friends.

Roxas had not been quite as popular as Sora or Riku, but he'd been well-liked, all the same. He'd been mostly quiet, more or less polite when spoken to, unless they were threatening him, as his Slytherin Housemates sometimes did. But in the short span of hours between now and the grapevine pronouncing him 'outed', he had become public enemy number one. Never a good thing.

He went into the loo to escape the murderous horde whenever possible, but as soon as he'd set foot in one, all the other boys left. That wasn't so bad, actually. Except, just now, one of them grinned at him, looping an arm about his waist and asking him how much experience he'd gotten and if he was interested in learning more.

Roxas ran out.

The boy followed.

Riku was waiting just outside.

After dispatching Roxas' would-be rapist, Riku insisted on sticking closer than ever, keeping himself between Roxas and most of the crowd when they walked to class and sandwiching Roxas between the wall and him inside class proper. From the general atmosphere around Riku, he was enjoying himself a lot.

"I can take care of myself!" Roxas bit out, finally. The last thing he needed was Riku trying to play overprotective knight-errant when everyone already thought he was a fairy princess. That both of them were.

"Yeah, like that last guy? He was twice as wide as you were and taller by two heads."

"You're taller than me," Roxas pointed out mulishly. A few teary-eyed Hufflepuffs went past them, one of them glaring as she patted her girl friends on the back. ("He just can't be gay," one of them sniffled.)

"Yeah, but I'm on your side," Riku said loftily.

"You're just making it worse!" Roxas hissed. If Riku didn't insist on sticking around like they were actually boyfriends, maybe Roxas could've done some damage control. Not only was he preventing him from confronting all the whisperers, he was also forcing him to appear a weak damsel in distress. Neither sat well with Roxas at all.

Riku frowned. "I'm not going to let you run around and get into trouble," he said with that firm little edge that meant he was going to be stubborn about this.

Fuming, Roxas gave the matter up for now. Riku may have taken the whole thing in a admirable stride, besides the obvious initial shock, but he obviously wasn't taking it anywhere near seriously enough. Then again, he was tall enough and muscled enough that very few people bothered him. It just wasn't fair.

More importantly, Parkinson had mysteriously disappeared and between Riku and the Rest of the Clinically Insane and Entirely Gullible School, he hadn't been able to give her a very special word or three. The kind that left you speechless. Literally.

Roxas finally snapped when he found a tersely-worded acknowledgement and word of caution from his Head of House.

"…'trust that we will have Slytherin discretion with regard to nightly activities'," Roxas muttered under his breath, cheeks flushed with anger.

He stormed up into the dormitories in the early evening, only to find Riku had followed him there. Perfect, now they'd think they were up to…up to something! From the way one pack of girls had followed them around all day, squealing, they probably though they shagged in every dark nook of the castle.

Riku didn't seem to think anything was wrong. He was casually shrugging off his robes onto the trunk at the bottom of his bed.

Oh yes, ooze sex all over the dorm ,why don't you. Roxas sourly thought that those girls probably thought Riku topped, too. And to cap the whole thing off, he had. A. Sugar. Quill.

"Roxas? You've been in a bad mood all day…" Suck. Lick. Swirl.

Roxas lashed out.

"Stop it! Just fucking stop that! If you're going to eat it, just eat it! You don't need to-to make some sort of show out of it!" Roxas grabbed Riku's wrist, plucking the candy out of his fingers with his mouth, lips catching on Riku's fingertips.

"How would you like it if I just went around doing this," Roxas thrust the quill into his mouth, licking up along the side in one long movement, drawing the quill out before shoving it in again. "All. The. Fucking. Time," he bit out, sucking the candy in until the narrow base, the sugar melting messily in his mouth and coating his lips as he let it go, teeth scraping and nibbling.

"Well?" Roxas demanded, biting off half of the quill vindictively.

Except Riku was much too close to have been looking properly, dark viridian eyes intent and for a split second Roxas wondered what the hell he'd done before long fingers tangled in his thick, curling hair and Riku kissed him, tongue sliding into his hot mouth and thrusting against his and oh god.

Strength left Roxas' body, slipping away like dew down a leaf, and he fell back onto the bed, one hand clenched around Riku's tie, pulling him close. Riku followed him into his gentle descent, straddling Roxas' thighs and pinning him to the bed.

Roxas pressed up against him, his other hand clutching Riku's back with a frenzied, thoughtless desperation. He crushed his mouth to Riku's, inhaling the deep skin-scent of faint sea breeze and rain that lay beneath the clean soap smell from the morning's shower. Riku's mouth moved to his neck, tongue tracing warm-cold paths and teeth nipping as he sucked.

"C-curtains," Roxas breathed out dizzily. The others could be- walking- oh, yesss-

Hips grinding into Roxas', Riku tugged the curtains shut impatiently with one hand, returning to ravishing Roxas in record time. It was probably a good thing Riku's bed was the next one beside his. He couldn't remember a silencing spell amidst the sheer sensation of Riku's body against his, one hand slipping inside his robes and busily untucking his shirt.

Nibbling lightly on Roxas' full bottom lip, Riku tilted the blonde's head, leaning in and melding their lips together. Roxas parted his lips easily, tongue batting lightly back against Riku's own as he tried to remember if he'd had any idea Riku had been this talented.

Riku's cold fingers at the waistband of his trousers was what eventually cut through the haze. Pushing Riku away, Roxas shook his head, trying to clear it. "W-wait, not that I'm- complaining or anything, but-" Roxas waved a hand distractedly at them both. "Just-what?"

Riku's lips were swollen, moist with spit- Roxas' spit. "You're really thick, sometimes, you know that? I've been wanting to do this for years.

"Years?" Roxas echoed dumbly.

"Yes, moron. Years. And I'm not about to sit here and talk when your wand's poking into my thigh."

But his wand was on- Roxas blinked and flushed slightly. "Cute," he sneered half-heartedly.

"We'll see in a bit, won't we?" Riku asked archly, spreading Roxas' legs.


"Don't worry, I've been practicing." Fingers on his gray slacks, catching the zip and pulling it down. Warm breath filtering through the cotton of his boxers.

"Practicing?" Roxas repeated, voice a little too high.

"What did you think I was doing to all those sugar quills?"

"Oh. Oh."

And Roxas fervently resolved that he'd get Riku sugar quills for the rest of his life.