Disclaimer: I don't get why I have to keep repeating myself but here goes nothing. NO, I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!

Authors Note: I have been thinking about doing this for the longest time. I love you Dei-kun! This one's for you! Oh, and please do not think because of this that I have any problems with homosexuals because I don't. I just think this is funny so please enjoy!

32,700. 32,800. 32,900. 33,000. Deidara watched, scared and wide-eyed as the Google search results started to grow. He was curious and had typed in "Deidara Yaoi" in the search bar.

"Oh my God! I am not gay, un!" he yelled at the screen. "You know what, I'm just going to go read a nice book about art and enjoy some alone time." He told himself as he grabbed 'A History of Art for Young People' off of the nearest bookshelf. After he had sat down, he continued his conversation with himself as most anime characters seem to like to do. "Perfect! An afternoon with my favorite book and no partner to bother me! How could it get any better than this, un?"

At that moment, Tobi came bursting through the doors to the room Deidara was in. Deidara groaned and slapped the book to his face. Was a moment of silence too much to ask for?

"Oh, ah, hi sempei!" Tobi screeched with delight.

"Hi Tobi." Deidara said in a muffled voice, the book still in lodged in his face.

"Sempei, you'll never guess what happened to me on my mission this morning! This guy was smiling at me and talking to me,"

"Mmmm…that's very interesting." Deidara mumbled as he tried to concentrate on his book.

"Yeah, he was being real friendly. And ya know, I think he was coming on to me! I think he might have thought that I was gay!" Tobi proclaimed.

"Ahem. So why are you telling me this, un? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?" Deidara said, trying to change the subject. He didn't really want to get into a gay discussion right after seeing a bunch of "graphic pictures".

"Well you don't have to get all defensive about it, sempei," Tobi began.

"I'M NOT GETTING DEFFENCE, UN!" Deidara yelled and then he calmed himself down. "Why should I care about some gay guy you met, un? I am trying to read."

"Well I didn't mean anything by it, sempei. I just think that it's something we should be able to talk about."

"Well I don't want to talk about it, Tobi. This conversation is over."

"But sempei,"

"OVER! Un!"

"Well okay, but just so you know…" Tobi took in a deep breath and Deidara turned to look at him. Suddenly, Tobi burst into song. "If you were gay! That'd be okay! I mean cuz, hey! I'd like you anyway!" Deidara's eye was now twitching. "Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay, but I'm not gay."

"Calm down now. Just think happy thoughts. Yes, Tobi getting stabbed with swords. Yeah…un…" Deidara thought to himself. (me: XD swords…)

"If you were queer, I'd still be here, year after year! Because you are dear to me, and I know that you,"


"would accept me too,"

"Like hell I would!"

"If I told you today, 'Hey! Guess what, I'm gay!' But I'm not gay. I'm happy just being with you. So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?" As Tobi said this, he held up several Akatsuki yaoi pictures all featuring Deidara. As soon as he saw them, he sheltered his eyes…eye.

"Tobi! That is wrong, un!"

"No it's not. If you were gay, I'd shout hooray! And here I'd stay, but I wouldn't get in your way. You can count on me to always be beside you every day, to tell you its okay, you were just born that way, and, as they say, it's in your DNA, you're GAY!!!"


"If you were gay!"

"ARG!" Deidara screamed before he fainted.


Okay, so if you are like most people and have no idea how this song goes, go onto YouTube and type in;

Tobi If Deidara was gay. Okay, so please enjoy. I know the animation isn't the best but I think this is funny too. But it's not mine so yeah. Thanks.