HHaW, Drunk.

It was late at night in Whoville, and everything was going its normal way. Even in the McDodd's house. Except for one little detail…

The Mayor wasn't there yet.

Sally has just put the kids in bed and was walking to her bedroom, looking at the floor. "Where is he…?" she thought, referring to Ned. A noise in the hall made her go back to reality. She looked beside her and she found Jojo sneaking out through the window.

"Jojo?" she asked. The boy looked at his mother and stepped back.

"What are you doing up so late?" she asked frowning. "You should be in bed now."

"I-I was…" he stammered and looked at the floor ashamed.

"You were going to the observatory, right?" she sighed. Jojo nodded.

"Is late, son. You have to sleep." She walked towards him.

"But…Ok..." he sighed. "I was tired anyway…"

"C'mon…" she said, taking him by his shoulders. "I'll wrap you up."

"Mom…" he said with annoyement on his voice, as they got into his room.

"Good night, baby" she said sweetly when Jojo was in bed.

"Please, mom…" he rolled his eyes a little. "Hey…where's dad?"

I don't know was the first thing that came to Sally's mind. Ned never stood at the council for that long. She looked at the window.

"He's at work." I have no idea. "You know how busy your father is at his work."

"Yeah, I know…" he sat on his bed. "But is kinda late…"

"Are you worried?" she looked at him surprised, but smiling at the time.

"No." he said coldly, but she was right…he was worried. He hid it. "He can take of himself, I think…"

"Yeah…" she said doubting a little. "Good night, Jojo." She whispered kissing his forehead.

"Night, mom…" he said, in an annoyed way again, and then he smiled."

Sally got out of Jojo's bedroom and rested her back against the door. "Where are you, Ned?" she thought. She missed her husband. She went to the living room and sat down on a chair, waiting for him.

After a couple hours, Sally was still there, almost falling asleep. Ned wasn't home yet. Suddenly, she heard a noise that woke her up. It was a noise of keys and some kicks on the door. Sally got up and walked near the door. She heard an unintelligible muttering, but that voice was Ned's. She was sure. She opened the door and immediately Ned fell on her with a "whoa".

"Ned…" Sally said breathless, while she tried to hold him up.

"Huh?" Ned looked at her dizzy and confused. "Sally!" he said, falling on her once more. All his breath got in Sally's nose. It was disgusting. She coughed a little.

"Ned, where the heck have you been?" she frowned. "…Are you drunk?"

"Ndo…" he drawled. "You know I don…drink!"

"Where've you been?" she asked again, trying to get him standing by his own.

"I…I dunno!" he laughed.

"Oh, Seuss…You're so drunk" she sighed and shook her head. "You're so sleeping on the couch tonight…"

"My name is…Ned, I think…" he said before bursting out laughing, and then he stopped and looked dizzy.

"Come here…" she grabbed his hand and walked to the living room. "You're giving a great example to the city…specially your own kids." she rolled her eyes.

"Hey…where we going…?" he said blubbering, with a little passionate tone.

"Sit here." Sally sat him on the couch. "Don't move. I'll get you a pill"

Sally went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and a pill to her husband. Now that he was home, the only thing that worried her was where had he been, or….with who. She shook her head at this thought. Ned would never do that. She went back to the living room with the water and the pill.

"Ok, Ned…take this—"she stopped when she saw no one there. "Ned…?" She looked around the room and she saw Ned behind her.

"Boo!!" he screamed and took her by the shoulders. "Did I sgare youu?"

"I'm frightened." she rolled her eyes. "Now, sit there and take this."

"Ogey…" he drawled and sat down.

Sally began to walk out of the living room. Ned put the pill in his mouth and then he spat it on the carpet.

"What the hell was that?!" he whispered.

He drank a little water and looked at the glass and threw the rest of it to the carpet too.

"Did you take it?" Sally asked and gave Ned a blanket.

"Err…yeah!" he said drinking nothing from the glass.

"Good." she nodded. "Good night, Ned." she said walking out of the living room.

"Where you going?" Ned cried.

"I'm tired," she yawned. "I'm going to bed now."

"Can I go with you…?" he asked in a childish way.

"No." she snapped. "You're sleeping here, in the couch. Good night." She turned the lights off and left Ned in the darkness. She went to their bedroom and fell asleep immediately.

After a while, Sally was in a deep sleep, and someone came in. It was Ned, who closed the door quietly behind him and sat down on their bed quickly. He got closer to Sally and pat her shoulder.

"Sally…" he whispered in her ear.

Sally moaned. Ned had always done that, but now he sounded weird. She opened her eyes and saw Ned's face.

"Ned..." Sally whispered sweetly. "Ned?! What are you doing here, I think I told you to sleep in the couch!" she sat on bed.

"But...it was dark..." he pouted.

"So is it here..." she rolled her eyes.

"B-but...I was lonely" he said childish. "All by myseeeeeelf--" he started to sing out of key and was interrupted by Sally, who put her hand on his mouth to shut him up.

"SHH!!!" she whispered. "The kids are sleeping!"

"Oh...sorry" he whispered. He gasped. "Whe have kids?!"

"Yes, Ned...Plenty of them." she rolled her eyes. "You don't remember?"

"Err...Ndo" he scratched his head. "We have like...what, 7?"

"Yeah, plus 90..." Sally said in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh, so that makes..." he began to count with his fingers. "91, 92...87, 24..."

"97, Ned."

"97?!!" his eyes widened. He smiled like a certain Grinch. "You know what that means?" he smirked.

"What?" she asked.

Ned whispered in Sally's ear something that sounded like "msfnrmfsksmrlmkc". Sally began to blush as she listened to Ned.

"You, sick man!" she gasped and slapped Ned's cheek with a huge "smack".

"Ouch!" he whispered rubbing his cheek. "What was that for?"

"You're a perv..." Sally said crossing her arms, not looking at Ned.

"And you're tellin' me?" he chuckled. "You think I made all those kids by myyy own?"

"Mfh...Ok, good night." she wrapped up. "Go back to the couch!"

"Sally..." he whispered taping her shoulder.


"Are you mad at me?" he whispered in her ear.

"Yes, I'm mad at you" she said without moving.

"Why?" he pouted.

"Because...you're all drunk!" she sat on bed. "I don't know where you were...or with who! And you can't even remember!" she looked at him. "You couldn't even remember we have 97 kids!"

"I remember..." Ned said suddenly after a silence.


"I remember where I was..." he looked at her.


"It was a party..." he looked somewhere else."...in the office, because of Von Frood's birthday!" he lifted his arms and wave them.

"A party...?" she said slowly.

"Yes." he nodded.

"In the office?" she smiled.

"Yes!" he nodded furiously.

"And they saw you DRUNK?!" she screamed angry.

"Hey everybody was drunk!!" he drawled a little. "I was the less drunk, I swear..."

"If you were the less drunk, I don't wanna know about the rest..."

"You know who was the most drunk?" Ned smirked.

"Who?" Sally asked. She was a little angry, but still, she was curious.

"Miss Yelp..." Ned chuckled.

"Miss Yelp?" Sally giggled. "That wasn't funny, Ned." she shook her head.

"But is the truth..."

"Ok, Ned. I'm glad you told me the truth. But I don't think is enough. Now, good night. Go to the couch."

"Sally?" he whispered as he cuddled her hair.


"Can I sleep here?"

"No..." she sighed.

"But I told you the truth already..." he pouted. "Can I please? I know I did something bad...and I'm sorry. I won't do it again, I promise..." he whispered, looking her directly at her eyes.

Sally looked at him. How was it, that he always knew how to convince her? He knew how to make her smile. He was always too adorable to say 'no' to him.

"Ok..."she sighed smiling.

"Yay!" Ned got under the covers and close to Sally.

"But stay at your side..."

"Ogey..." he smirked as he put his had on Sally's waist.

"And don't touch me." she snapped.

"Ok..." he released Sally and moved to his side.

"You're gonna have the worst hangover ever..." she giggled."Good that you took that pill, right?"

"Yeah...you know something funny happened about that..." he laughed nervously.


"It kinda...fell."

"It fell...?"

"With a little help of my hands..." he smiled.

"As I said, you're gonna have the worst hangover ever." she chuckled. "Don't touch me!"

"Sorry..." he smirked.

"And don't talk to me that close, your breath stinks!"


"Good night, sweetie." she whispered and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"Night!" he smiled with his mouth under the covers.


"Good morning!!" Sally screamed at Ned.

"Oh...my head." he said painfully. Why was Sally always right?

"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty, breakfast is ready!" she screamed in his ear.

"Please, Sally…" he covered his head with a pillow. "My head is killing me…"

"I'm sorry, honn…" she sat on their bed. "But that's for keeping me awake for two hours waiting for you…and for telling me such devious things."

"I'm sorry…" he took the pillow off his head. "What did I tell you?"

"I'm not gonna repeat that…" she crossed arms.

"Aww…C'mon, it can't be that bad…"

Sally whispered the same "msfnrmfsksmrlmkc" that Ned whispered to her the night before. Ned's eyes widened and he looked at Sally.

"Did I really say that?" he chuckled. "I'm sorry…Oh…What happened last night?"

"Aw, nothing…You just came home drunk…" she smiled ironically.

"Oh…so that's why…I feel like crap…" he muttered.

"Aw, it's ok. C'mon…Let's go and have breakfast. The girls are waiting for you." she kissed his forehead.

Ned and Sally sat down on their chairs and the clock started to work. The girls spanned around the gigantic table happily laughing and talking. Ned was so tired that he could barely stay awake. The chairs spanned and the next girl came showed up in front of him.

"Hey, Daddy!" she happily shouted. "Look what I just did for you!" she showed him a fresh drawing.

"Oh, what a beautiful house and tree, sweetie…" he said closing his eyes a little and looking at the picture.

"Daddy, that's you and Mommy…" she pointed.

"Oh, yeah. I know…I meant that the house and the tree are missing." he smiled" Let's just put this on the fridge, ok?" he tried to stand up and fell back on his chair, dizzy. "But…maybe later…"

The chairs spanned again and Ned looked in front of him.

"Hey, princess…"

"Err…Dad, it's me." Jojo said with a strange look.

"Princess?" Ned shook his head. "I meant prince."

"Prince…?" Jojo whispered in confusion. "Hey, where were you last night? You look like crap…"

"At work, I suppose…" Ned said. "Arrg… my head is killing me."

"Wait a minute…were you…drunk?"

"Oops, look at that, twelve seconds…Bye, Jojo!" Ned said quickly rushing the clock and making the next chair to come.

"Wait!" Jojo shouted while he was moving behind his parents.

"Next!" Ned said and looked in front of him and saw Jojo again. "Jojo?! How did you…?" he turned his head back repeatedly and looked at him.

"So you were really drunk?" Jojo said curious.

"I…I rather not to answer that."

"Mom, was dad drunk?" he looked at Sally.

"Yes" she said.

"Sally…?" Ned looked at her.

"Well, you were." she shrugged. "I can't lie to him, he'll find out anyway…"

"So you were the one who 'sang' last night, right?" he asked.

"I…don't remember, stop asking me these questions." The chairs spanned. "Hello" he smiled. It was Jojo again. "Really, how do you…?

"I can't believe you were drunk!" he said chuckling.

"Yes, ok? I was drunk!" he said a little angry. "And it was a terrible mistake."

"Yeah, I mean…If drinking means looking like you the next day, I'm never gonna drink."

"Thanks, son…" he sighed. "Good for you."

"Hey, why does Jojo always get more time?!" one of the girls shouted.

"Yeah, that's totally unfair!!" said another one. All the girls started to shout.

"You better go now, bye!" Ned said rushing the clock and making Jojo leave.

"Hello, Daddy!" the next girl said. She was a little one. "What's drunk?"

"Where did you hear that?" Ned asked nervous.

"Jojo said you were drunk…" she said looking at his brother, who was eating a pancake.

"It means happy dear." Sally said quickly and looked at Ned. "Daddy was very drunk last night. That means he was happy…"

"Oh…I'm drunk!" she said happily.

"Oh, that's great honey, just don't tell that to the other kids, ok?" she smiled.

"Ok! Bye, Daddy, I love you." She kissed his cheek and the chair spanned.

"Thanks, Sally…I'm so drunk having you…" he kissed her on the lips and smiled.

"Aww…" Sally smiled. "You're so cute…"


When breakfast had ended, Ned got up.

"Where are you going now?" Sally asked.

"To work." Ned answered. "I can do it…"

"Well…I don't think you should…" she shook her head.

"Aw, don't worry…I'll do fine." He kissed her and went out. "Bye!"

One of the oldest girls walked towards Sally. "Mom?" she asked "Why is there a pill and water on the carpet…?