Note: Here's a much longer chapter!


Three days later, Jon felt he had put the incident behind him. His primary tactic was throwing himself into his school-work, and the far more difficult task of integrating himself into the high school socially. Fortunately he wasn't especially bothered by the transformation. Having recently awoken as a teenager instead of an adult meant he was already practised at coping with not being himself. The female body was not a novelty to him – at least not in his memories. It would have been far more concerning if he'd been stuck that way for a protracted period of time, but he hadn't allowed himself to consider that problem. Such thoughts required a few beers.

Given the lack of phone-calls from the SGC, Janet had not discovered anything new, and Jack had not discovered anything. He had coped alright with Janet and Carter's teasing, but getting it from himself too would be intolerable. While he knew what he was like and could dish it out just as well as the Original, the whole clone situation was a psychological and emotional mess that he really didn't want to deal with on top of the gender-bender issue. And... and he should be checking he had all the right things from his locker. Thinking could wait until the walk home.

"Jon?" A friendly female voice plucked him out of the spiralling vortex of thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, hi Lisa." John could hardly get over the fact that fate had given him a schoolmate and neighbour named 'Lisa'. There was no one named 'Bart' or 'Marge' though. Jon was considering acquiring a dog and naming it Homer, but that would be a choice he made once he was more settled.

"What's up? You've been staring at your locker door for maybe a minute," the short blonde girl told him.

"Oh. Just... thinking."

"You do that too much," she chided.

"Really? What do you plan to do about it?" he asked with a grin.

"I plan to harness your extra thoughts by asking you to help me with geometry and chemistry again this afternoon." Lisa struggled a little at those subjects. She wasn't awful, but she was definitely more artistically inclined, resulting in a need for tutoring in those subjects. Last week she had approached Jon for help, having noticed that he found the work relatively easy and observed that he had plenty of spare time.

"Sounds like a good plan," Jon agreed.

"How about you pop over at around seven?"

"Sure, but, uh, that's a lot more evening than it is afternoon," Jon corrected.

Lisa just shrugged. "I'll see you later. I've got to grab Clarissa before she leaves." She was gone before Jon could wonder whether he wanted an explanation.



Jon almost rang his neighbour's doorbell, but remembered that it was broken before wasting his time. Instead, he knocked on the sturdy wooden door and called, "Lisa? It's me, Jon."

"Hold your horses," Lisa called back. Her footsteps approached and moments later Jon heard the deadbolt being drawn. "Come on in."

"I'm afraid I've only got books to hold, no horses," Jon bemoaned, causing Lisa to laugh at his act.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Lisa asked after Jon had placed his things down on the coffee table.

"Nah, I'm good. Where are your parents?" he wondered.

"Out. Company dinner," Lisa answered lightly.

"Oh. Um. They know I'm here?"

Lisa shook her head. "Nope," she told him with mischief in her eyes.


Lisa giggled and pointed at the wall clock. "I told them you would be here at seven. That's not for another minute. You're early."

"Oh. Ha ha," Jon replied humourlessly.

Lisa responded with a smirk. "Gotcha! And now that I've thoroughly fooled you, let's study."

"Yeah, we'd better do that. The sooner you're not thinking about pulling pranks on me, the better."


Just a little later...

"Ready for question twelve?" Jon asked, taking a sip of strawberry flavoured milk.

"Uh, true, Lisa replied.

"It's not a true or false question."

Lisa rolled her eyes. "I mean I'm ready."

Jon rolled his eyes. "Fine. Given a hypotenuse of twent... ahh!" He had been struck by a blur of grey fur, and had upset his pink drink.

"Bad Mister Fed!" Lisa told the newly arrived feline. "That drink is for Jon, not you!"

Mister Fed hissed possessively and began licking up the spillage. "Stop that!" Jon protested as he tried to wave the cat away. He received a scratch on the hand for his efforts.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Lisa declared, picking up the unruly pet. "I'll shut him in the laundry and get you cleaned up right away."

"Uh, I'm fine to rinse myself off in the bathroom," Jon answered, looking dolefully at his now pink and white shirt.

"Yeah, there's some spare wash-cloths under the bathroom sink. And I'll get you one of my blouses to change into," Lisa teased.

"Er, I'll pass on that. I'm fine to get home in a wet T-shirt, really."

Lisa laughed and left the room with the squirming Mister Fed. "I'll clean up the mess while you wash up," she called over her shoulder. "Did any get on our books?"

"Nah, just my shirt and the floor. Good thing you don't have carpet in the living room," Jon called back. He carefully stood, avoiding the stray strawberry splashes and trying not to drip any further fruity froth. Halfway to the bathroom, he sneezed violently.

"That sounded bad. Are you sure you don't need to put something warm and dry on? I could lend you a coat," Lisa offered from the laundry.

"I'll think about it." Jon entered the bathroom, locked it, and removed his shirt. The laundry would have been better for rinsing in, but it lacked a mirror and was colder. Setting the shirt aside, he located a clean wash-cloth and removed all traces of his sticky drink from his chest. As he was finishing, he sneezed again and noticed his eyes were turning red and his skin had begun itching. The area around the scratch was the worst. "Hey Lisa, I think I might be allergic to your crazy cat," he called.

"What's that?" Lisa yelled back.

"Your fool cat! I think I must be allergic to the animal! I'm itching all over and my face is puffing up," he explained as he starting rinsing his shirt clean.

"Did that happen before?" Lisa asked with concern.

Jon thought back to his previous visit. "I left right after I got scratched last time, and I fell asleep pretty quickly."

"Yeah, we were up quite late working out those chemistry problems. Did you notice anything the next morning?"

"Uh..." It was starting to become difficult to think, as a steadily increasing pain had crept in alongside a drowsy feeling. "No, the only thing that happened that morning was..." Jon caught himself before he revealed extremely classified and embarrassing information. He looked back into the mirror and detachedly noticed that his chest was beginning to swell. A sudden flash of inspiration was accompanied by a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Oh." He opened his mouth again to continue, but the only adequate expletives were not fit for Lisa's young ears.

"What's up?"

Jon frantically assessed the situation and muttered Goa'uld curses to himself. He most certainly had experienced a significant reaction to the cat, but he hadn't seen any connection until now. Recognising the situation for what it was, and now knowing what was about to happen, he knew he had to get away from Lisa as soon as possible.

"Jon? Are you okay in there?"

It was a slight struggle to get the words out clearly. "Er, yeah, I've got some medication at home. I'll have to cut our study session short, sorry." He slipped his damp but clean T-shirt back on to cover his changing body and rechecked his face in the mirror. He still looked enough like a swollen version of himself to avoid raising unwanted and dangerous questions. Satisfied that he wasn't going to completely freak out his friend, he left the safety of the bathroom and ventured into the living room.

"Omigodyoulookterrible!" Lisa gushed. "Can you breathe okay?"

Jon nodded. "Throat's alright." He knew that his voice would get around to changing, but he hoped it wouldn't be too soon. "I'd better go." He reached for his school-books.

Lisa deftly swept the books into her arms. "I'll take these. I'm walking you home. Can't let you out like that alone. You look ready to fall asleep. Or worse."

Jon held out his hands to receive back his books. "I'll be fine. I'm not even crossing the road for crying out loud."

"Nope, you're stuck with me. If my mom found out that I left you alone as sick as you are, I'd never hear the end of it! Come on, let's get you to your medication." Even as she spoke, Lisa found her keys and cellphone, and scribbled a note explaining where she would be.

"But... it might be contagious," Jon protested unwisely, running short on ideas.

"A contagious allergy? Even I know there's no such thing!" Taking Jon's books, Lisa departed through the front door, leaving him no choice but to follow.