Hi. Please enjoy this delicious little one-shot!

Naruto is not mine.

Teach Me

SLAP!

He clutched his hand to his face as the girl stalked off. Naruto was laughing his ass off and Kakashi'd just rolled his eyes and sighed. Sasuke was desperately trying to conceal a grin that was threatening and Sakura was also laughing, though not as much as Naruto was. Sai felt as if he was never going to get the 'picking up a girl' thing right.

"That was sooo funny!" Naruto laughed, somehow miraculously not falling off his seat. "You should have seen your face when she slapped you! It was priceless! Oh, man!"

Sai really didn't think it was that funny, after all, his face was quite sore. Still, at least he'd given it a shot, even if he had failed. Human interaction was extremely difficult, and he'd only spoken to the girl because Naruto had teased him about the fact that he'd never been able to pick one up, as it were. But then, the hyper blonde was always a little judgemental towards people who weren't in a 'happy relationship' like he was, or at least getting laid a lot.

For the past few years, Naruto had been doing a lot of dating until he'd settled on a girl named Tamae only four months ago. He was pretty darned serious about her, too. Now he dedicated his spare time to teasing Sai about his 'lack of experience'. It was this, of course, that had prompted Sai's failed attempt to get the interest of the girl.

"You are so clueless with girls!" Naruto said, still laughing. "At this rate, you're never gonna get laid! Hahaha!"

"That's not very nice, Naruto!" Sakura chastised, though she was still smiling. "You're forgetting how bad you used to be!"

"He used to be bad?" Sasuke asked on cue.

Nodding, Sakura said, "He couldn't talk to a girl without accidentally insulting her. It's because of too much exposure to the worlds biggest perv!"

"Hey!" Naruto complained. "We're supposed to be insulting the bastard, not me!"

"It's a topic change," Sakura said after poking her tongue at him. "You can't talk about one thing all the time, ya know!"

Sai sighed. It was this sort of thing that made him really wish that he knew how to interact with people more easily. Even Sasuke, who was as Emo as you could get still knew how to have fun and be socially acceptable at the same time. It was the only thing Sai envied about him. Otherwise he was fine with feeling like his better, since he'd never betrayed the village and gone to the enemy for power so he could kill the only member of his family that was left in the world.

"Hey, Sai?" Sakura said, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, hag?"

She glared at him a moment then asked, "You wanna dance?"

"Sure," he agreed. "Why not?"

She led him out onto the dance floor and they began to move to the music, slowly a first, then matching the tempo. Her arms were about his neck and his hands rested lightly on her waist as they danced, and Sai found himself wishing he could be as comfortable with a girl as he was with Sakura. Not that he thought she wasn't a girl, but she was his team mate, and it was a completely different subject.

As the song went on, Sakura got a little closer until she leaned forward and said, "I can help you talk to girls properly if you want."

"You would do that?" he asked, and she nodded.

"We're friends," she told him, "despite your stupid name calling. I want to help you."

Sai gave her a fake smile, feeling a little uncertain but willing to give it a try. "Sure," he agreed. "When do you want to start?"

She thought a moment, then said, "How about now? You tell me what you'd say to a girl, and I'll tell you what's wrong with it so we can fix it, ok?"

He nodded, and they spent the rest of the evening going over his social blunders, which were, as it turned out, quite vast.

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Over the next few days, Sakura gave him a ton of pointers; what to do when sitting next to a girl you liked, why telling her that her boobs looked great was actually a bad thing, that sort of stuff. It took her awhile to get it to sink into him that using examples from the Icha Icha book that Kakashi'd given him was not a good idea, because real life didn't work that way, but he eventually caught on.

"If it's not how things go," he asked, "then why does Jiraiya-sama write like that?"

"Because he's a pervert," Sakura told him. "Only whores and women who don't know who he is ever fall for anything he says, and the latter usually catch onto his pervyness quite quickly."

Sai supposed that made sense, but he was disappointed that the book was not entirely accurate. After all, it was Naruto who'd told him to use the material in it. He sighed. No wonder he'd failed. His attention was distracted by Sakura who'd decided to stand up and take off her sweater. All she had on underneath was a small tank top, and he suddenly found himself wondering what sort of lines worked on her.

"Ok," she said, "let's get started. I'm a girl at a bar and you're trying to pick me up. What do you say?"

Had she read his mind? Probably not, considering everything.

"Um... Is it 'You look beautiful tonight. Can I buy you a drink?'" he asked.

"Nearly," she told him. "That stuff's for beginners, so you did ok I suppose."

Sakura sat down on his coffee table and leaned forward, placing her hands on his thighs. "Hi. How are you doing? This is a great club, don't you think?"

Sai stared at her, dumbstruck. "What?"

She sighed and pulled back. "That was a conversation starter," she told him. "You can't just go up to a girl and buy her a drink. She'll just think that you think she's easy! Well, some girls are, but that's not the point."

He nodded, figuring that he was kind of getting it. Sakura was good at this, he decided, and wondered if it was because she'd heard a lot of lines from guys over the years. A lot of the guys he knew wanted to go out with her, but for some reason, she'd always turned them down. For awhile there he'd thought it might be because she'd still been harbouring feelings for the Uchiha traitor, but when he'd come back to the village, it hadn't happened. He wasn't sure, but he had a suspicion that she'd actually rejected him when he'd tried something on her.

For a few hours, Sakura had him run over the basics of everything she'd taught him so far, then surprised him when she said, "Ok, today, you're gonna ask out a girl!"

"I'm what?" he asked. "Are you sure?"

She nodded vigorously. "You're ready," she told him, "but keep it light. Don't try to get her to go with you back to your place, just get a date with her, that's all."

So later that day Sakura dragged Sai out to a place where she knew a lot of girls hung out and threw him in the deep end. Once she'd abandoned him, he looked around, trying to figure out who he should ask, and saw the girl who'd slapped him the other night. Definitely not! he decided, and kept looking. His eyes eventually fell on Yamanaka Ino, Sakura's other loud and annoying blonde friend.

She would be perfect, he decided, since he already knew that she thought he was cute. Sakura had teased him endlessly with the knowledge once she'd found out, not that he'd really cared. He knew that she'd actually been doing it to bug Ino, really. Steeling his resolve, he went over to where the Yamanaka woman was sitting and put one of his smiles on his face.

"Hey, Ino, how're you going?"

She looked up, a little put out that she was being interrupted, but her annoyance disappeared when she saw it was him. Immediately she smiled, her face lighting up at the sight of him.

"Hey, Sai," she greeted back. "What brings you to this joint?"

"I just saw you and thought we could talk, that's all," he said, sitting down next to her.

If at all possible, her smile got wider. "Sure," she enthused. "What about?"

Sai was a little stumped, and it must have shown, for Ino went on, "You can just sit here and keep me company while I talk, if you want."

Relieved, Sai gave his trademark fake smile. "Ok," he said.

Two hours later Sai returned to his apartment with a slight headache and a dinner date for the following evening.

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"Hold still!"

At that moment Sakura was doing up his tie for his date with Ino, and Sai couldn't help the fidgety feelings he was having. He was nervous, he knew, but he was trying not to show it. The fact that this was his first date, in his entire life, was not something that he really wanted to think about, and squirming was, rather surprisingly, taking his mind off his nerves a little bit.

"If you don't stay still, I'm gonna...!"

"What?"

"...Never mind."

For some reason, Sakura was a little bit mean tonight. In fact, she had been ever since she'd found out that it was Ino he was going out with. But he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Still, at least he'd found a date, and she'd been trying to give him pointers all day.

"Ok," she said once his tie was done, "you're ready. Just remember to be polite and listen to her and make sure you walk her home. Oh! And give her a kiss when you get there, but don't go in, whatever you do! No sex on the first date; cardinal rule!"

"Kiss?"

He hadn't even thought of that, but Sai supposed it was only natural to give your date a good-night kiss. But he'd never kissed anyone before, so he wasn't sure exactly how it had to be done. Oh, he knew it meant pressing your lips to another person's lips, or other places that he'd read about in the Icha Icha series. But that was besides the point.

"Yeah," Sakura was saying. "A kiss. You know how to kiss someone, don't you?"

"I've never had to," he admitted.

She sighed. "Alright," she said, "I'll show you."

There was something in her voice that made him want to know what she was thinking, but before he could mull it over, she'd grabbed his hands and placed them on her lower back. Her own went up to his neck and she looked up at him before placing her mouth on his. Almost instantly he felt a tingle shoot up and down his spine, a sensation that increased when she encouraged him to respond by flicking her tongue over his lower lip.

Instinct took over and he pulled her closer, the kiss becoming deeper when his tongue met hers and they explored each others mouths. Sakura threaded her fingers through his hair and moaned slightly when Sai's hand slid down over her bottom. A small portion of his brain registered that she had a nice firm rump before she seemed to snap out of some kind of daze and pulled away from him.

She was blushing, he noticed.

"Oh, um, well, that was pretty good!" she said, sounding flustered. "I'm sure Ino will like that later on..."

A dark look flashed in her eyes for the briefest of moments before she started to absentmindedly straighten him up.

"You have a good time, and I'll see you in the morning after I get Ino to tell me how it went, ok?"

She practically fled his apartment.

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"Are you ok? You seem distracted."

Ino was looking at him with concern in her eyes, and Sai realised that he wasn't paying attention to her like he should.

"Sorry," he mumbled and refocused his attention.

The date wasn't going well, at least, not for him. He could tell that Ino was enjoying herself, but he just wasn't getting into it at all. For some reason, his mind kept replaying the kiss that Sakura had given him, and he was confused as to why it was bothering him. He was on a date with a very beautiful girl, but the only thing his brain could register about her was that she was loud. And annoying. Briefly he recalled how Naruto told him that Sasuke had called Sakura annoying when they were younger, and felt that he really had no idea what annoying actually was.

"So anyway," Ino was saying, "they finally caved and I found out that they were lying to me the whole time! Can you believe it? Naturally, I made sure that their lives were a living hell after that, but rest assured, those idiot team mates of mine haven't tried to pull a stunt like that again!"

"That's good," Sai said vaguely, and Ino beamed.

Finally the date was over, and he was walking her home. All the way there she clung onto his arm and when they reached her door, she turned to him expectantly and he realised this was it. Time for the 'good night kiss'. So he leaned in and kissed Ino. It wasn't too bad, he noticed, but he couldn't help to compare it to the one with Sakura. That kiss had made his spine tingle, and this one was only a little warm. Eventually they pulled apart, and Ino, he saw, had a smile on her face.

"Thanks for tonight," she said breathlessly. "I really enjoyed myself."

That makes one of us, Sai thought as the blonde girl entered her house. But why? How come he hadn't enjoyed the date? Ino had been nice company, even if she did talk a lot. And about her team mates. So why? Was there simply something wrong with him? As he walked along the road, he wondered if Sakura would still be up so he could ask her. Sure, he was going to see her tomorrow, but he really wanted an answer now, so he headed for her place.

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She answered on the third ring of her doorbell.

"Sai?" she asked, slightly surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes were red and swollen, he saw.

"You've been crying," Sai observed.

"So?" she snapped. "I was watching a sad movie!"

He didn't believe her, but that was beside the point.

"What are you doing here?" she repeated.

"I wanted to ask you something," he said, and after a moment's hesitation, she let him in.

They went into the kitchen and she offered him some tea, which he accepted. For a while they just sat there, waiting for the kettle to boil, then Sakura asked, "What did you want to say?"

"I wanted to ask you about the date I had," he told her. "I know that Ino enjoyed it, but I didn't, and I don't know why."

Something flickered in the depths of her emerald orbs and she simply stared at him. He didn't know why she wasn't answering him, and decided to get her attention from her staring.

"Hey, hag," he said. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Sakura."

He raised an eyebrow.

"My name's Sakura!" she exclaimed. "I'm sick of you calling me hag or ugly! I am not ugly, dammit!"

"I know you aren't."

"Then stop calling me that!"

"Ok."

She blinked. "What?"

"I said ok."

They were silent a moment longer, then Sakura sighed. "You probably didn't enjoy your date because you don't actually like Ino in that way," she told him. "But she's not going to be happy when she finds out, by the sounds of it."

Sai cocked his head to the side, thinking. "If that's how I feel when I don't like someone," he said, "then how do I know how I'll feel when I do like someone?"

"You just do," she told him. "But usually it's because you can't stop thinking about them. Because when you spend time with them, you're happy, and when you're apart, you're sad. And if they like someone else, you feel jealousy."

She stared at the floor, and Sai had the feeling that she wanted to cry. He didn't want her to cry, but her words had made him realise that that was why he'd been thinking about her all through his date with Ino. Do I like Sakura? he asked himself and the answer was immediate. Yes. Maybe she liked him too, because she was as upset as she'd describe just now for someone that liked someone who didn't like them. But he did like her.

Sai stood suddenly and took the two steps between them and hugged her. Immediately Sakura returned the hug, her eyes no longer holding back her tears and he felt his shoulder become wet with them. She looked up at him and he leaned down and kissed her. The ferocity with which she kissed him back was a little startling and for awhile that was all they did. Then he pushed her up against the wall and pressed himself against her, the action eliciting a moan from her.

"Sai," she breathed. "I-I like you."

"I like you too, Sakura."

At the sound of her name coming from his lips her eyes went wide and she blushed a little. Then she smiled and pulled him to her. They made out against the wall until she couldn't take it any longer and dragged him into her room where she started pulling at his clothes.

"I thought you said no sex on the first date," he said.

"We're not on a date," she reminded him.

That was good enough for him, and as soon as they were naked, they fell onto the bed, kissing and caressing one another. He pinned her beneath him and kissed her with as much passion as he could muster, then began to move his lips lower. He trailed a path along her throat and over her breasts, lingering lovingly over each peak, quite pleased with the way his actions were making her moan and arch her back.

Sai went lower still, coming to her thighs which she immediately parted, allowing him access to her most sacred region. Sakura cried out in absolute bliss when he dipped his tongue into her, and he knew that even if those Icha Icha books weren't good for romance and dating, they seemed to be perfect for sex. So he called up in his mind everything he'd read in them, and pretty soon his fingers and tongue had her screaming his name as she orgasmed.

He moved back up to her and kissed her, giving her a taste of herself, then her hands wandered down to take hold of his member to start a push and pull rhythm that had him glad he wasn't standing up because otherwise he'd collapse. After a moment he removed her hands from him and hovered over her. They shared another kiss, then he pushed himself into her delicious heat.

Their pace was steady at first, each of them getting themselves accustomed to the other's movements, and then they were moving together, her hips thrusting up even as his thrust down. Sai groaned when Sakura wrapped her legs around his waist, causing him to move deeper within her and he sped up, moving closer to that special spot. She moaned and breathed his name as the pressure built for them both, the sounds and her body urging him ever on.

Finally they reached their peak and he felt her grip him tightly even as he gave a few powerful thrusts before filling her with his seed. He collapsed on her, exhausted, and she held him close as they both recovered.

When they had, he asked, "When did you start liking me?"

Sakura sighed as Sai rolled off to her side and pulled her close. "It was over the last several days," she told him, "when I was teaching you about girls. I'd never really spent time just with you before, and when I did, I realised that I liked you. A lot."

He smiled and it was almost a genuine one. "I'm glad," he said as he started to drift off.

"Me too."

The End

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