And She Will Be Loved.
The worst part about being in love is the uncertainty. I could spend days staring at her, and yet her eyes see past me, to fall upon another. I have loved Tenma Tskamoto since the very first day I met her, and yet she barely knows I exist. The only time she ever notices me is when I'm talking to her sister, as if nothing outside of her own little world can exist until someone else brings her attention to it. So absorbed in everything; no one could ever say Tenma had no determination. I've watched her fruitless attempts to get that lout Karasuma's attention, and I have to admit, she's worse at this love business than I could ever be. Karasuma. What does he have that I don't? Apart from that ridiculous haircut of course, and his gift for manga…and Tenma's love. The most important thing of all.
There have been so many misunderstandings, so many times I could have told her how I really felt, but fear has held me back. I remember practicing at the beach house, how she imitated me. She made it seem easy, to tell someone how you felt, and yet she has yet to do so with Karasuma. The moonlight played along her skin, sent highlights into her silky hair. It should have been the easiest thing in the world then, to just blurt, "I love you!" but the words stuck in the back of my throat. What did I expect? That all of a sudden she would notice me? That my pitiful feelings might somehow be understood and reciprocated? She has the same fixation as I do, and has set her heart on another. If I truly love her, if I ever really did, then her happiness should be the most important thing. So why does the thought of her with another bring out such anger? Every time I see another male talk to her, I see red. A glance, the usual threats and most blokes stay away. No one would risk the wrath of Harima, with his reputation as the "bad boy", not even for a chance with her.
Every day it gets harder, to just watch her smile and laugh and know I was not the one to make her smile, and her laughter is not for me. She is set so high above me as to be a goddess I worship from afar, and I but an ant at her feet. I cherish every word she has ever spoken to me, every smile she has bestowed my way. Each of these is like a band aid on my one too many times broken heart, and I'm sure if she could only see that, she would realize how much I cared. My love is all encompassing; she can do no wrong in my eyes. Karasuma should appreciate what he has in Tenma, because I know how it feels to have an unrequited love all too well. To me, Karasuma is the luckiest guy in the world.
I don't want to be alone. I suppose that is why I love Tenma so much, so desperately. I don't have anyone or anything else in my life to show love to. I live with my cousin, and I don't have any real friends, unless you count my not so friendly rivalry with Hanai. Then of course, there is Yakumo. If Tenma had half the intuition that girl has, she would have realized how I felt months ago. And yet it is this one tentative friendship that seems to destroy any chance I ever had with Tenma herself. She always thinks Yakumo and I are an item, and Yakumo herself is too shy to dissuade her. The vibrant, sparkling energy of Tenma causes Yakumo to become but a mere shadow, at least in my eyes. That she possesses physical beauty is no lie, but it is to Tenma that my heart belongs. It is to Yakumo I give the only thing I have left to give; a hesitant hand of friendship, denied all to many times in the past.
If there is anyone in class 2C that I can relate to, it is the rich girl, Eri Sawachika. I suppose it would seem strange to most people that I feel empathy towards her, but it is true. She lives in a world not so different than my own. I've seen her, in her fancy car. It is not her parents with whom she keeps company, but her butler and her staff. So cold, even to her friends. I often wonder what pain she has experienced, in order to present such a dim view of the world to those around her. Again, Tenma has often misunderstood our relationship, if that's what you could call our exchanges. Funny that Tenma can assume I like someone else, but never recognize my true feelings.
Oh Tenma, will you not look my way? All I ever wanted was some understanding, some acknowledgement that I exist. I suppose that's why I'm loud, why I always do stupid things to try and get your attention. I probably don't deserve you, and I probably never will, but I ask that you think of me occasionally, hopefully with a smile. Just remember one thing.
Nothing compares to you.
Harima closed his eyes, pen falling from his hands. There, it was finished. How he felt, why he did what he did, everything. He glanced down at his messy writing, rereading sections, changing a word here and there. Finally, he was satisfied.
"Tenma, if I never tell you how I feel, this will be enough," he whispered, picking up the piece of paper and opening a drawer in his desk. Lovingly he placed it inside, where it slept with dozens of similar notes, all of which ended the same way.
'Nothing compares to you'
And to Harima, nothing ever did.
A/N- be nice if you review, this is my first school rumble story, although I suppose that's not an excuse if you really don't like it LOL. Also, I thought about doing something similar with the other characters, especially Hanai and maybe Tenma herself, so if you'd like to see something like that, review and tell me!
I suppose it should be noted I've only seen the first season, and a few episodes of the second because it was only released here a week ago, so forgive my mistakes in that area!