Title: The Trail in the Woods with a Spork

Rating: M

Summary: Lost in the woods, bickering, rain, and a one-man tent.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bones outside the bounds of my imaginary universe.


"We are lost!" Brennan shrieked after they passed through another clearing.

"We are not lost, we are just…turned around a bit." Booth struggled to find something familiar, or perhaps a hint of instinctive direction.

"We were supposed to be at the campsite 4 hours ago, I told you we should have brought my GPS!" Brennan stomped on leaving Booth to quicken his pace in order to keep up with her.

"Well I'm sorry, but you looked at the directions yourself, it was supposed to be a simple marked trail. I have no idea where we went wrong." Booth gesticulated frantically clearly frustrated.

"It is almost sundown, and unless miracles exist, which they don't, we are stuck here for the night without a campsite."

"Can't you do your sciencey thing and look at the sky and tell us which way is out?" Booth asked annoyed, not liking the idea of roughing it.

"The light is almost gone, we would only be able to use its direction for about 20 minutes. If you would have conceded to the fact that we were lost at an earlier time, then maybe I could have been helpful." She stopped in her tracks, placing her hands on her hips.

"Well can't you use the stars? Isn't it the same thing as the sun? Are you holding out on me Bones?" He waggled his eyebrows at Brennan suggestively, who was not at all amused.

"Do you see that storm front that's coming in over there?" She pointed at the huge dark clouds rolling in on the horizon. "It will be directly over us before it is dark enough to see the stars. You're better off asking your friend for help." She turned and started kicking stones and sticks around with her boots.

"Which friend? You know that neither of us has cell service here."—He stopped abruptly when he saw the smirk appear on her face. She raised a pointed finger towards the sky to clarify.

"Uggh, you know what, I will ask him for help! I will ask him to send a really big bear with a taste for 'bones' so that I can have some peace and quite with Mother Nature."

"Do you believe in her too? I think that's against your religion." She continued clearing the area with the toes of her boots, but the corners of her mouth gave away her lightheartedness. Booth sighed, disgruntled.

"Do not tell me you are clearing the area for us to sleep here." He was not at all happy with the idea.

"Booth we don't have a choice. It's safer to just continue in the morning when there is light again. We should use the light we have left to set up the tent." She made too much sense to argue with, Booth decided, so he kept quiet.

After unpacking the gear, the situation only become more infuriating for the both of them. They found a one-person tent, one sleeping bag, limited food and a lantern without batteries.

"Bones, you were in charge of the tent, how could you bring that?! It's like a tent for a midget baby." He looked over the diagram on the tent's tiny packaging sleeve. It didn't look big enough for one person, let alone two.

"It's a one person tent, I have only ever used a tent by myself, well mostly…actually two people can definitely fit in there especially if they are—"

"BONES! I get it, we'll squeeze, feet to head, or something…" He looked nervously between Brennan and the midget tent.

"Where's the other sleeping bag, wasn't that on your list?" Brennan asked as she unrolled the lone sleeping bag, holding it up to gauge the size.

"Well okay, I said I had two sleeping bags, but one was Parker's and clearly neither of us was going to fit into it, and we were not even supposed to be camping! We were supposed to hike up here undercover, locate the suspect at the campsite and vamoose! There was no actual camping scheduled." He became exasperated once again with the situation.

"Okay, fine. We'll just unzip the sleeping bag and lay it flat on the floor of the tent. That way we can dispel some of the heat that would be transferred into the cold ground, and it will be more comfortable anyways. And actually the size of the tent should help insulate the body heat we generate."

"Whatever Bones, why don't you set up your Polly Pocket dream home while I go do what boys do best and build a fire."

"I don't know what that means."

"Of course you don't." Booth called back as he disappeared into the foliage in search of wood for the fire.

Booth slowly collected the driest sticks he could find. Part of him acknowledged that the idea of staying the night in the woods with his stubborn yet lovably naïve partner appealed to him on some unknown level. Another part of him also admitted that the short temper and lack of patience he had been exhibiting were probably ways for him to dispel all the tension between him and Bones. Without his feigned annoyance, who knew where all their titillating discourse would take them?


AN: So this is my first story, any criticism is welcome! xoxo, S.