Hey look! I actually wrote a Doctor Who fic thats longer than one chapter! :)

I have no clue where the idea for this fic came from. Maybe from watching the deleted scene from Human Nature when the Doctor insists that he hates pears? :D

dedicated to my awesome friend Leaviel on deviantART :D

Chapter One: Pear Yoghurt

It took the Doctor a few minutes of staring to realise what he was looking at. Rose was sprawled out on her stomach on the bench next to the console. Normally there wasn't anything odd about that, but today...

"Rose Tyler, what do you think you're doing?"

Rose stood up and glared at him. "Good morning to you too, Doctor. What have I done now?"

The Doctor stormed into the console room and pointed towards the metal grating underneath the bench. "You brought that...garbage in here and spilled it all over the floor! How am I going to get all of the wiring down below clean again?"

"Oi, it isn't garbage! I happen to like it! And it isn't like I spilled it on purpose, the TARDIS jerked and I accidentally dropped it. If you want to blame someone, blame her!"

He reached down and snatched the half-empty package of yoghurt from her hands, ignoring her furious protest, and dropped it into a trashcan that had conveniently appeared next to the bench. "No more food in the console room. If you want something, eat it in the kitchen. Understood, Rose?" he said while giving her his best 'Oncoming Storm' glare.

Unfortunately she seemed to be immune to it.

She favoured him with a filthy look and stalked out, slamming the door to her room so firmly the TARDIS' engines seemed to growl unpleasantly.

The Doctor sighed and tossed his jacket over the bench before climbing underneath the grating to try and clean up the mess beneath. Honestly, Rose had to be the messiest companion he'd ever had on board the TARDIS, not unlike Sarah Jane and Ace. Could it have something to do with being a teenage human female? None of the other women that had traveled with him had been very messy. Of course both Susan and Romana had been...no, best not to think of either of them now. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and got to work atomizing the numerous splatters of yoghurt.


By the time he was finally finished-who knew it could take so long just to clean up a bit of spilled yoghurt-the Doctor had decided that he might have been a bit harsh with Rose. After all there were much worse things she could have been eating in the console room. Terribly disgusting things such as pears or mushrooms. Although if she decided to eat a banana he of course wouldn't argue and demand that she take it elsewhere. In fact he might just join her, no matter how domestic it would probably be with both of them snacking and chatting away. After all, bananas were fantastic for your health, for both Time Lords and humans alike!

The Doctor shook his head sharply, suddenly breaking his train of thought. This really wasn't the best time to be thinking about bananas. In fact, why was he rambling on and on inside his own head? At this rate, his next regeneration would be a babbling fool who would talk and talk in order to get himself out of trouble! How horrible would that be? The Doctor: a Time Lord who talks more than the chattiest creature. He smirked and wandered off to look for Rose.


He eventually found her in the kitchen. It was understandable, considering that it was near lunchtime but what she was doing was definitely not.

She was sitting at the table, her back to the door, systematically sorting various packages of yoghurt into piles.

The Doctor silently slipped into the room and quickly picked a ripe banana from the bunch on a counter. He peeled it and quietly walked over to watch Rose's work from over her shoulder.

Eventually, she turned around to glare at him. "What are you doing in here?"

" I just finished cleaning up and thought I'd have a banana. What are you doing?"

She turned away again and resumed her work. "None of your business."

"My TARDIS," he reminded her with a grin, "whatever happens here is always my business."

"Well this isn't. So there."

The Doctor walked over and turned around one of the other chairs at the table and straddled it, facing her. He took a bite of his banana and watched as Rose placed a blueberry yoghurt package next to a pile of other fruit flavoured ones.

"So, whats with the cataloguing? Getting bored of just tossing them all into the cooler at once?"

Rose rolled her eyes but otherwise completely ignored him.

He tried again. "What sort of cataloguing system is this anyway? You have a banana flavoured yoghurt next to a pear one. What sort of disturbing system is that?"

She glanced up and frowned. "You don't like pears?"

He scowled. "I've had a bad experience."

"How can you have a bad experience with a pear?"

"Never mind. And you haven't answered my question yet. Whats with the cataloguing?"

Rose smiled slightly. "I'm going through and deciding which flavours I can get rid of."

"What for?"

"Oh, um, I'm going to give them to Mum the next time we see her."

The Doctor made a face. "That won't be for a long time."

"Oh come on, Doctor, just because she slapped you doesn't mean shes not still my mum. When do you think we can go see her?"

He shook his head. "Doesn't really matter to me. I'm planning to stay inside the TARDIS the whole time we're there."


"Oi! I am not!"

"Are so. You're scared of my mum!"

"Well is it my fault she's scarier than rampaging hordes of Zygons?"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you think my mum is scarier than aliens?" Rose asked, laughing.

The Doctor glared at her. "If you'd like I can keep us from going. We can go to Cimmeria or Kelowna instead. I hear that they're great in the winter. Nice and cold. We can take a hike on a glacier!"

"No, no lets go visit Mum and Mickey," Rose said quickly as she stood and began piling the containers of yoghurt back into the refrigerator.

The Doctor tossed the peel of his banana into the trash and rummaged in a drawer for a few moments before pulling out a cloth bag. "Here, you can put the yoghurts for your mum in there."

Rose hesitated before taking the bag. "Actually, Doctor, I decided not to give her any right now."

He shrugged. "Its up to you. Although you can get rid of the pear one."

"Oh don't worry, Doctor, I'm planning to."

He didn't trust that smile on her face.


A few days later, once they had finally left the Powell Estate for the safety of the time vortex, the Doctor discovered that Rose had indeed disposed of the pear yoghurt. In fact she had dumped it all out...onto his jacket while he was sleeping. He smiled. Silly Earth girl. This meant war.

To Be Continued...on Friday :D