Chapter one - Finding out
This cant be happening. This cant be happening. This cant be happening. This can NOT be happening. I cant believe this is happening. Why the hell is this happening. BING. Oh shit. Calm down Bella. Just turn over the stick. It will be negative. I know it will. OK I'm turning it over. Two pink lines. What does that mean again. Where are those directions. OK here they are. Two pink lines means its……..POSITIVE. What the hell. I think im gonna be sick.
I quickly turned around and got sick for the third time that day. What am I gonna do. I cant be pregnant. This stuff doesn't happen with his kind. Plus it was just one time. I cant be pregnant. After I was done being sick I picked myself up from the floor and went to wash my mouth out. As I was looking in the mirror a loud knock came from behind the door which made me jump 10 feet in the air. "Bells you done in there sweetie." Charlie said from behind the door. I quickly wrapped the pregnancy test up in toilet paper and without looking threw it towards the trashcan. "Yeah dad I'm coming out now." I said as I looked around to make sure nothing was out of place. I felt like I had just committed murder or something. I still had a little hint of green in my face as I walked out the door. "Still throwing up?" he asked.
I just nodded my head not trusting my voice. "Bells maybe you should go to the doctors you've been throwing up all day." All week is more like it. "Im fine dad its just the stomach flu. I caught it from Angela. I should be better by tomorrow." I hope he didn't notice my voice shaking. If he did I guess he jus blamed it on the Stomach flu. "Alright but if your still throwing up tomorrow I want you to see a doctor, understand." I just nodded my head once more because I knew if I opened my mouth the breakdown I knew was coming would force its way out in front of Charlie and I couldn't blame that on the flu. I turned around and walked to my room. I would have run but I could feel Charlie's eyes on my back. When I got to my room I locked the door as fast as I could because the tears were already running down my cheeks. I could feel the sobs ready to explode from my chest. I hoped on my bed and buried my head in a pillow as not to let Charlie hear.
What was I going to do. I'm only 18. How could be a mother at 18. How could I be so irresponsible and stupid. Ugh I hate my self right now. What am I going to do. I needed help and I could think of only one person who would help without judging me. I hoped off the bed and ran across the room to grab my phone off my desk. I dialed the numbers so fast my vision blurred and I got a headache. It rang once….twice….three times….. "Hello?" "Oh my gosh Angela I don't know what I'm going to do. You have to help. Please Angie I'm begging you. Help me." the words came out in sobs. "Whoa Bella calm down. Tell me whats wrong." she said in a calm soothing voice. I couldn't get the words out. I could say them in my mind but saying them out loud only made it more real. Stop being a coward Bella. Say the stupid words. "I…Im ..pregnant." "I'm on my way. Ill be there in 10 minutes." Click.
I sat there on my bed watching the clock, counting off the 10 minutes like they were the end of my life. In a sense they were. From now on my life would never be the same. Just then Charlie knocked and let himself in without waiting for an answer. "Bells, Angela is here. Guess shes feeling better." I totally forgot that I supposedly caught the stomach flu from her. "Um…Yeah. Guess it was just a 24 hour bug then." I said lying through my teeth. Hopefully he believed me. I'm such a bad actress. I guess he did because he just nodded his head and left the room.
Angela came through the door seconds later. She closed the door behind here and ran to my bed and pulled me into a bone crunching hug. Oddly it felt comforting. She let me sit there and cry into her shoulder for countless minutes maybe even hours. I couldn't tell. I sobbed and sobbed into her shoulder. When I felt like I could control myself I pulled out of the hug. "What am I going to do?" That question kept coming up a lot today. Angela just looked at me and said simply. "What do you want to do?" I couldn't answer her question because I truly didn't know.
"What should I do." I said answering her question with a question. "First you should see a doctor. Make sure all this isn't just a false alarm. Then if you are indeed …..pregnant we'll talk about your options and what would be best for you and the baby. OK." I couldn't believe that she was so calm. It helped but how the hell could she be so calm. My heart was beating 10 times its normal rate. I couldn't use my voice so I just nodded my head. "Ill come with you if you want Bells. You don't have to be alone. I'm right here. As long as you need me." "Thanks Angie. I think you should come. I don't know if I can handle this all alone." she nodded her head and pulled me into another bear hug. I sat there basically in her lap and cried for who knows how long.
I guess we both ended up falling asleep because I woke up two hours later and Angela was sleeping peacefully next to me. She is such a good friend. We haven't even been spending that much time together lately and she still comes to my rescue like we have been best friends all our lives. I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I didn't have to go through this alone. Maybe she really would be there for as long as I need her. I had this feeling deep down in the back of my head that was telling me not to get my hopes up because the last time someone promised me they would be there they left as soon as they got the first chance. Something was telling me not to trust her….or me. I felt the hole in my torso widen as I thought these things. I wrapped my arms around myself and crossed my legs so that I could get some control on myself and I wouldn't fall apart. I couldn't fall apart anymore. Now I have two lives to think about now.
This thought calmed me for some reason. I started to think about my life with my child. My child. Two words I never thought id use together until I was about 30 years old or something. I lay back down as my fantasies engulfed me. I started to visualize what my baby would look like. What color eyes it would have. What color hair it would have. Somewhere between me fantasizing I fell back asleep. I was showered by dreams of a beautiful baby boy with bronze hair and beautiful green eyes. He was around five years old. He was playing in the park. Running around an laughing. Just being a little boy. He was running down the sidewalk. I called to him to be careful or he'd fall. I turned around to get him a juice box out of the lunch bag I had brought along. I jumped when I heard a child's scream. I turned as fast as I could only to see that it was my child who made the cry for help. Their was a man running with my son. I got up as fast as I could and ran to help my baby boy. I ran and I ran but I couldn't catch up with them. I could hear my son crying for me. "Mommy mommy please help me. Mommy why wont you help me" I couldn't speak. Why would he think I'm not trying. I was trying my hardest to help him.
"Bella wake up. Bells its just a dream. Bella calm down." I could hear Angela's voice but only faintly. I opened my eyes and I could see Angela standing over me. Her eyes full of worry and shock. I was gasping for air as I sat up on my elbows. "Bells what is it? Whats wrong? Are you OK?" I couldn't use my voice. It wouldn't work right. I just sat there and stared into space recounting everything I had just dreamt. Why couldn't I have protected my son. Was I that weak I couldn't even watch my son in the park and stop the man that took him. If I couldn't even protect my baby in my dreams how was I supposed to protect him in real life.
AN: This is my first story on Fanfiction so please read and reveiw. All thoughts all welcomed. Just dont try to kill me over the computer. lolz