Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by Masashi Kishimoto. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: Slash: Male homosexual relationships, adult language, and sexual situations.
The Cheshire Cat
"Sasuke! Sasuke! You get back here!"
Kakashi chuckled as he saw a dark streak rush past the window of the nursery. He glanced down at Akihito, who looked up at him with wide sapphire eyes.
"You bastard! You left hair all over the bed! I told you to brush daily!"
Kakashi bounced Akihito slightly, earning a light gurgle.
"You will never grow up normal."
Two Years Later
Naruto winced as Toshi wailed out her new favourite word. He had been muttering to himself about Sasuke, his bastard husband, and had forgotten that Toshi and Sachio were picking up new words.
"Shh, shh, sweetie," Naruto cooed. "Come on, say Papa! You said it yesterday! Say Pap-"
"Fuck!" Naruto swore, realizing she wasn't going to give up on this. "I mean, oh darn!"
Naruto whirled, staring at Sachio who eyed him from his high chair, a disgruntled look on his face. He slammed his tiny fists down on his little table, glaring at his father.
"Basteed!" he shouted. "Pa'cakes!"
Groaning, Naruto set Toshi down on the ground, hurrying to prepare breakfast for the three two year olds. Thankfully, Akihito was sitting patiently in his chair, waiting with an oddly serene expression. Naruto had been surprised that Akihito seemed to be the most like Sasuke, until Itachi said that Sasuke wailed bloody murder when he was a child.
Naruto quickly flipped the pancake in the pan, waiting for it to cook. Sachio was still crying for the meal, while Toshi contented herself with tugging on Naruto's pyjama pants.
"Toshi," Naruto groaned, looking down at her. "Stop that please!"
"No," the young girl's mouth was set in a mulish line. "Basteed-Papa."
"Toshi," Naruto whined as he scooped the pancake off and onto a plate. He poured out some more batter before cutting up the first pancake for Sachio. "Don't use that word! You use it again and you're getting no pancakes!"
Toshi's dark eyes widened, and her chin began to tremble. Naruto's heart broke as her eyes filled with tears, and he quickly scooped her up.
"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry," Naruto whispered. "Of course you can have a pancake! I'm so sorry..."
Toshi sniffed, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Naruto's cheek. Naruto smiled softly as he slid her into a high chair.
Naruto sighed at Sachio's screech, turning to flip the pancake. He quickly placed the first one before Sachio who dug in – using both hands. He returned to the stove, taking the third pancake off and cutting it up for Toshi, before pouring out a third for Akihito.
Naruto turned and smiled as Sasuke stumbled into the kitchen. The cat pressed a kiss to Sachio's head, who glared up at him over the disruption, before ruffling Toshi's hair. Toshi smiled sweetly up at her father as Naruto placed a plate before her.
"What do you say?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.
Toshi turned her smile to Naruto. "Tha'k you, basteed-Papa!"
Naruto froze, scraper hovering over Akihito's pancake. He turned to look at Sasuke who was looking down at Toshi before turning his gaze on Naruto.
"What did she just say?" Sasuke's voice was icy. Naruto flinched.
"Uh, thank you?"
The tension in the room was thick, broken eventually by Akihito.
Three Years Later
Neji sighed as he looked down to where 'The Twins' were staring up at him. Both were watching him with innocent expressions that Neji didn't trust for a second. It was their fifth birthday, they had already received their presents, but the little demons were trying to sneak more from everyone. Neji was sure that Itachi had already slipped them each something extra.
"No," Neji said instantly. The innocent look became bigger. "No more. Go annoy your Uncle 'Tachi."
Frowning, annoyed that their charms didn't work on the Hyuuga, both slunk away. Neji watched them go with a sigh.
"E'cuse me, 'ncle 'Eji..."
Neji looked down, his eyes softening as they fell upon Akihito. Shorter than his siblings, his golden hair fell into his eyes, ignored by him. He was clutching a little toy fox that Neji had given him a year ago, which he apparently was never without.
"What is it, Aki?" Neji asked softly as he crouched before him. Akihito smiled sweetly at him.
"I would like a'other piece of cake, p'ease," he said politely, pointing up to the table which he couldn't reach. "Choc'late."
"Of course," Neji said with a smile. He cut a large piece of the cake for his favourite nephew, adding a couple of chocolate drops from the other pieces for him.
"Here you are," Neji said as he held the plate out to the boy. Akihito smiled up at him brightly.
"Will you eat with me, 'ncle 'Eji?" he asked. Neji melted on the inside, scooping Akihito up and carrying him to a chair. He sat down with the boy in his lap, watching as he began to eat. Neji had gotten more used to the children, but still refused to watch them for longer than a number of hours.
"I love you, 'ncle 'Eji," Akihito said with a smile. "You're my favouri'e 'ncle."
Neji clutched Akihito closer, unable to stop the smile from stretching across his face.
Five Years Later
Naruto winced as Akihito went barrelling past the living room, heading straight for the stairs. The child, who had been very quiet as a baby, had blossomed into a loud, noisy child. Sachio and Toshi had quieted down, becoming calmer and... and, well, more evil.
Naruto watched as Akihito reached the stairs, but at the worst possible moment Kyuubi shot past, getting underfoot and causing Akihito to go flying, straight into the stairs.
"Aki!" Naruto shouted, leaping to his feet and dashing over to him. He pulled the boy into his arms, running hands over his face. "Are you okay? Aki, please tell me you're okay!"
"Papa, I'm fine," Akihito grumbled. "Lemme go!"
"No!" Naruto said, pulling the boy to sit more comfortably in his lap. "Are you sure you're okay? You didn't hit your head too hard? Oh God, do you have a concussion?"
"DADDY!" Akihito yelled. "Tell Papa to stop fussing over me!"
"What did you do?" Sasuke shouted from upstairs.
Akihito rolled his eyes. "Tripped on Kyuu! Hit the stairs!"
In seconds, Sasuke was down the stairs as well, kneeling beside his husband and son, running his own hands over Akihito's face. Akihito groaned, slumping in Naruto's arms.
"Why do you guys worry over me?" Akihito groaned. Naruto looked up, meeting Sasuke's eyes over their son's head. Both were filled with past pain and trauma.
"Because we love you, Aki," Naruto soothed, stroking his hair. "We love you a lot."
"Right," Akihito mumbled. "Dad, can we go to the park now?"
"Of course," Sasuke said as he stood. Naruto released his son, smiling sadly as he rose. "Let's go, before your siblings want to come with us."
Akihito pulled a face at the idea as he hurried out after Sasuke, taking his hand as he began to chatter. Sasuke smiled down at his son as he squeezed his hand.
Naruto watched them go, still on the floor, as he drew his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on them. He hated when Akihito got hurt.
It brought up demons from the past.
Five Years Later
"I can't believe you're letting her go out!" Sasuke hissed, his tail bristling. "She's only fifteen!"
"She's fifteen!" Naruto snapped. "That's old enough for her first date!"
"No it's not!" Sasuke snapped, his ears flattening. "Eighteen is old enough!"
"Uzumaki Sasuke!" Naruto said, placing his hands on his hips. "You will not ruin this night for your daughter!"
"Dad's right," Sachio growled from where he sat beside his father on the couch. "I don't like him!"
"That's not your choice," Naruto scolded. "Now, shush, here she comes."
Naruto smiled at his daughter as she descended the stairs. She was dressed in a nice dress, not too short, or too long. It was a lovely black and wine red, accenting her features and colouring.
"Daddy?" she said anxiously. "What do you think?"
Sasuke scowled as he rose, circling his daughter. He eyed her up and down carefully, silently judging her.
"You look beautiful," he grunted. "Too good for that human."
"Thank you, Daddy!" she chirped. "Papa said the dress was perfect!"
"Hn," Sasuke stalked back to the couch, dropping down. Sachio glared at his sister as the doorbell rang. Naruto hurried to answer it, leaving the hostile cats to glare at each other.
The boy standing nervously on the doorstep was good looking, not good enough for his daughter of course, but no one ever would be. He had plain brown hair and matching eyes, and a sweet smile as he greeted Naruto.
"H-Hello sir," he mumbled. "I'm here to pick up Toshi."
Toshi came hurrying out from the living room, a serene smile on her face. Keiji greeted her with a nervous stutter and a smile.
"Enjoy your night," Naruto said as they headed down the path towards the street where Keiji's older brother was waiting in a car.
"Hn," Sasuke appeared beside Naruto, eyes narrowing as he watched the two children go. Sachio was sulking behind them both, and Naruto frowned.
A loud scream sounded down the path, and the three Uzumakis looked up in time to see Akihito leap out of the tree in the front yard, aiming straight for Keiji.
"Get away from my sister, you bastard!"
Toshi calmly grabbed Keiji's hand, tugging him to a halt, causing Akihito to land in front of the two instead. Naruto was there in an instant, gathering his son into his arms and smiling apologetically up at the two.
"Sorry about that," he said as he rubbed the back of his head. "Have fun!"
Akihito struggled in Naruto's arms, ignored by the man. Sasuke sauntered over to them as Toshi and her date vanished, smirking down at his youngest son.
"Aki!" Naruto scolded. "You should be more careful! You know how delicate you are!"
"Hn, Aki," Sasuke looked down at his most un-Uchiha child and his smirk grew. "Good boy."
Five Years Later
"Mmm, Sasuke," Naruto whispered as his husband pressed him further into the wall. "Stop teasing me!"
Sasuke chuckled as he continued to rub Naruto through his pants. Naruto panted heavily, arching up into the hand.
And just like that, the mood was ruined. Sasuke groaned as he felt Naruto wilt beneath his hand, his own hardness fading. Naruto chuckled as he leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder.
"Upstairs, Sachio!" Naruto called over Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke pushed away from his husband, crossing to the bedroom door to meet his son.
"Dad," Sachio shouted as he burst into his parents' bedroom. "Dad, I've got a problem!"
Sasuke's face became serious in an instant. Sachio was the most Uchiha of all the children, just like his father, so if he was panicking it had to be serious.
"What is it?" Sasuke asked, resting his hands on Sachio's shoulders. "Are you in trouble? Do you need money? Whatever it is, son, name it."
"I think I'm pregnant!"
Sasuke paled considerably, staring at his eldest son: the son who was the most Uchiha. The son who was supposed to knock people up, not get knocked up!
And then Sasuke fainted.
Naruto squealed, throwing his arms around Sachio's neck and hugged him tightly. Sachio wrapped his arms loosely around his father's waist. He buried his face into Naruto's shoulder, sighing as he finally relaxed.
"Oh, sweetie, tell me all about it," Naruto said as he pulled free, leading Sachio to the stairs. His son looked over his shoulder at Sasuke, but Naruto simply dragged him from the room. "Daddy's fine. So, who is the lucky man?"
One Year Later
Naruto smiled as he watched Akihito bounce one of his nephews on his lap. Itachi was holding two of his nieces, while Toshi and Sachio themselves held the final two of his astounding five-kitten litter. He watched as Neji leaned over Itachi's shoulder to tickle the stomach of one of the ten month olds, smiling as he did so. Itachi leaned up to place a quick peck on Neji's lips before returning his attention to his nieces. Kakashi stood in one corner with his lover, Iruka, talking to Sachio's husband, Shin.
Arms wrapped around Naruto's waist and he looked up into dark eyes. Sasuke smiled down at him before pressing a soft kiss to his husband's lips.
"Look at our family, love," he whispered. Naruto leaned into his arms and smiled.
"And to think, all those years ago, I didn't want you."
Sasuke playfully bit Naruto's neck, his tongue lapping at the skin. Naruto sighed softly, leaning back into his husband of twenty-one years' embrace.
"Lucky I'm so stubborn, right?"
Naruto turned to face Sasuke, kissing him deeply and quickly.
"Yes, lucky indeed."
Naruto took Sasuke's hand, leading him from the room with a smile. Their family watched them go, all of them smiling at the sight of the completely un-Uchiha-like grin on Sasuke's face.
The grin that made him look just like a Cheshire Cat.
A/N: It's finished! It's finally finished! And I broke 1000 review!!! So, as promised, I shall write that 'honeymoon' scene you all want. Also, while I'm here, I shall shamelessly pimp my story 'Broken Weapon, Perfect Weapon.' It's a KimiHaku, go read it! Please?