Your previous Court Reporter, snooky-9093, has had to take an unexpected leave-of-absense, so I will be filling in for her for the time being. If you have testimonies to submit, feel free to PM me, Bits and Pieces, and I will send you my email address. And since we're still on a lunch break, I thought this would be appropriate to start with. :D

A Little Bit Of Conspiracy For Lunch…

A/N: Just a reminder, although my pen name is SapphyreBird, I also go by ShadowHawk. Just so there's no confusion…

"C'mon Fräuline, mach schnell," Hochstetter urged as he stood behind ShadowHawk. She was sitting in a chair with a laptop on… well, on her lap---imagine that---and was typing quickly.

"I'm going as fast as I can! If I type any faster, I'll start making even more mistakes and spend even more time hitting the Backspace key!" she replied without taking her eyes off the computer screen in front of her. Hochstetter began pacing, causing ShadowHawk to turn around.

"Dude, chill out, okay?"

"Hey, less talking and more typing!" ordered Hochstetter. ShadowHawk sighed slightly and resumed typing.

"Ya know, sometimes I don't think you really appreciate me…"

Hochstetter stopped pacing and looked at the girl in front of him. If I want to keep her in the palm of my hand, I'll have to play up to her, he thought. He bent down so that his face was right next to hers.

"Es tut mir leid¹, meine Fräuline," he breathed in her ear. "It's just I'm not sure how much time we have before the trial starts up again, and I'd prefer it if we could get as much done as we can. I doubt you'll be able to write on your---what did you call it? A laptop?---once we're back in the courtroom," he tried to explain. Ugh. Affection was never my strong suit… Thank God for those captured American films…

"It's alright, Major; I really do understand," ShadowHawk replied as she faced the major, practically touching him nose-to-nose, causing her to blush slightly. She stared deep into his eyes. It was just so different when he wasn't on the other side of a television or computer screen. "Worst case scenario, I could always write the old-fashioned way: with pen and paper."

"Ja, but then someone might see and figure out what's going on. And I'd rather not take that risk; it's obvious the judge already dislikes me, and I think it's pretty safe to say that the rest of the courtroom does, too. They wouldn't hesitate to charge me as well… if they found out."

"Well that's why I created that code name for you!"

"'Black Wolf?' I don't think they'd have much trouble figuring that one out, Fräuline."

"All right, all right, point taken," ShadowHawk sighed. "And besides, if anyone gets in trouble, it'll probably be me for letting you talk me into this…"

Hochstetter smirked. It hadn't been too difficult to "persuade" the teen. In fact, it was almost too easy! He didn't even have to torture anybody! ShadowHawk continued on.

"It's just that I wish you'd show me a little more appreciation… that's all…"

"Alright, then… How's this?" He then lightly kissed her on the cheek, making her blush even more. "Is that better?" he asked. ShadowHawk laughed giddily.

"Okay. I forgive you," she said breathlessly. Hochstetter smiled.

"Ah, das ist gut, meine Fräuline. Now, continue, bitte."

"Jawohl, meinen Herr," ShadowHawk replied enthusiastically and continued typing again with a newer, stronger resolve.

Hochstetter smirked again and straightened his posture. This girl is just too easy to manipulate! Pure putty in my hands! The major couldn't help but chuckle lightly to himself.

"What's so funny, Wolfie?" ShadowHawk asked innocently.

"Nichts²---Wait, 'Wolfie?'" Hochstetter repeated while raising a brow. "Aren't we being a little too familiar?"

ShadowHawk looked down. "Sorry," she said apologetically. "Force of habit… ya know, with my fantasies and all…"

"It's all right. I don't mind when no one else is around," Hochstetter said with a casual wave of his hand. He then paused for a moment's thought. "You can explain to me these so-called 'fantasies' later."

"Are ya sure ya really wanna know?" ShadowHawk asked cautiously.

"I'm the Gestapo; it's my job to know."

"I realize that, but sometimes ignorance is bliss…"

"How bad could they be?" Hochstetter was beginning to feel a little nervous. Just what exactly went on in this girl's mind?

"Um…" The American hesitated, somewhat embarrassed. "Does the term 'X-rated' mean anything to you?"

Hochstetter just stared at ShadowHawk, speechless.

"... I think you really need a boyfriend…"

"Is that an offer??" she asked hopefully.

"Uh, not exactly…"


"You may want to consider seeing a psychiatrist or something…"

"I don't think it would help," ShadowHawk said while shaking her head. "You see, I'm beyond any psychiatrist's repair."

"I won't argue with you there…"

"Well, at least we can agree on something…"



"Fräuline, stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Trying to get in the last word; it's annoying."

"Okay. Sorry."

"That's alright… as long as you don't say anything after I do."

A silent second passed as ShadowHawk tried to repress a smile.

"You got it!"


"Hee hee hee," giggled ShadowHawk as she diligently continued typing away.

A few moments of silence passed, broken only by the sound of keystrokes. Eventually, ShadowHawk stopped, sighed, and faced Hochstetter again.

"Hey, uh, Wolfgang?" she called out quietly.


"I'm, uh… gonna have to write one about you, too, ya know…"


"Well, I mean, think about it! Don't ya think it'd look a little suspicious if I started killing off Hogan and everyone else all of a sudden and left you completely alone?" ShadowHawk stated. "I mean, everyone saw my obsequiousness for you back in the courtroom!"

"Obsequiousness," Hochstetter echoed. "Have you been using the thesaurus again?"

There was a clicking sound as ShadowHawk quickly closed something on her laptop.


The major sighed before returning his focus to the situation at hand. He wasn't too thrilled at being killed off… again.

"I'm not too crazy about the idea, Fräuline…"

"Well, neither am I; the last thing I want to do is hurt you---"

Hochstetter gave her a look. He didn't need to say which story was on his mind.

ShadowHawk quickly revised her sentence.

"I mean, hurt you without any real point. But it's a necessary evil! I'm only doing it because I don't want you to get in trouble for influencing my writing!"

Hochstetter sighed again, slowly resigning himself to his next fate. He couldn't deny that the girl had a valid point.

"…Alright… What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno… But I'll let ya know as soon as I think of it… Or as soon as we think of it…"

"Hmph, helping write my own death," Hochstetter mused. "Just like actually pulling the trigger myself."

ShadowHawk's eyes lit up. Hochstetter was becoming familiar with that look in her eye; the look of an epiphany.

"Was ist los?"

"That's it!" ShadowHawk grinned evilly. "Suicide! Mwah ha ha ha!"

"Hey! This is me we're talking about!" Hochstetter growled. "Show a little respect!"

"Sorry…" ShadowHawk bowed her head. "I just can't control the evilness sometimes…!"


"But it works! And it'll be a quick and semi-painless death, too!"


"Well, if you're on the verge of suicide, odds are you're in some kind of pain…"

Hochstetter grumbled to himself for a minute before heaving a defeated sigh.

"Alright. Fine. Let's get this over with. What are you thinking?"

"Oh, I don't know…. Maybe it could be at the end of the war, or something…"

Hochstetter was confused. "But why would I kill myself after we win the war?"

ShadowHawk was quiet.

"We do win, don't we?"

"Well, it's a completely hypothetical situation anyway, so lets just say, for the sake of the story, that Germany doesn't win," ShadowHawk said quickly and nervously. "The story will make more sense that way…"

Hochstetter's eyes narrowed in suspicion. For the first time in his life, he felt himself begin to question his country, but after quickly realizing that was treasonous, he pushed those feelings away. I'll pursue this later… he promised himself as he looked away from the American. She was the one that was probably wrong anyway.

"Just get to work."

"Yes, sir…"

1) "I'm sorry"
2) "Nothing"