A/N: a brief suggestion to all you aspiring song writers who read. When you make one of the most romantic songs ever, never, ever name it SNAIL! It is a misleading and most unromantic title a human being could ever make! Anyway, I've sent this to my beta last Christmas and she still hasn't returned it to this day. So in my attempt to bribe a1y_puff to make me TeFu Nokia theme, I decided to beta this myself and post it A.S.A.P.. Hope there aren't too many typos left...

Disclaimer: boy's aren't mine. I don't speak Korean so the song isn't mine either.

Miracle for You


Sometimes the way home takes so long

Sometimes I get so tired and exhausted

As soon as I open the door, I fall asleep

And when I wake up no one is there

When I lay my body in the small bathtub

A small snail comes to me

With his small voice he whispered to me

That someday when that day comes

I will go to the ocean at the end of this harsh world

No one saw it but

I will follow the sound of the waves that I can hear in my head

I want to go forever



Fuji sighed as he turned the key on the lock of his door, relieved that he had survived another day of monotonous office work and commuting packed subways. But he knew the day wasn't over yet, the dreaded one was yet to come. Fuji pushed the door open slowly and stepped into the place he tried to call home. The silent darkness that greeted him was achingly familiar. He stared into it for a moment, hoping that a light would emerge from the pitch black of his apartment, a smile would ease his exhaustion, a voice would shun his wariness. But nothing came, nothing happened. Fuji closed his eyes to ease the pain and whispered to the stillness.

"Tadaima."

Silence greeted him back. He closed the door behind him and braced the loneliness. But he dared not enter his bedroom yet, could not bear the thought that he was truly alone, that there was no one waiting for him. So he laid down on the couch, one of the few furniture in the otherwise bare room, and closed his eyes, hoping that by doing so he could wake up to face a happy dream, dream where a warm hand would hold his, a smile would warm him, a voice would comfort him, a presence would keep him company. But the dream would not come to reality no matter how long he closed his eyes, he still woke up to see the white ceiling, surrounded by still air, suffocated by loneliness.

It's almost funny that after spending a month asleep now that he woke up again all he wished for was to return to the deep sleep, to be embraced by sweet dreams that wouldn't come true. But he couldn't stop wishing, couldn't stop hoping. Because this didn't feel right, because he felt trapped in here under the obligations, chained by responsibility. Fuji sought something, something that he had yet to know, something that he knew hold the key to his happiness, something that was meant only for him, something… someone…

The hot water helped soothe his mind marginally. Fuji leaned back against the bathtub and tried to relax, forget the workload, forget the silence, forget the loneliness… and just dream… Dream of a snowy day, of holding hands with one's beloved, of rendezvous, of a secret meeting at the beach… Somewhere, someone was waiting for him. Fuji had kept him waiting for too long but he knew deep in his heart he was still there, still faithfully waiting for him, still faithfully loving him, still out there staring at the waves of the ocean that crash to the shore, the lonely shore, their shore, their meeting place… Waiting for Fuji to arrive, to remember, to love again…

Fuji's eyes snapped open and he sat up, panting for breath. What was that? What was that dream? Why did it feel so real? Who was that person? Why was he waiting? What was he waiting for? What was Fuji waiting for?

Fuji embraced his own body, feeling even more cold and lonely.


Oh the road filled with cars

In a small corner store

I headed out on the street

With a pack of cigarettes and a melting ice cream bar

The sun is up high, shining on me

When a small snail

Suddenly comes to me and greets me

And sings for me quietly

That someday when that day comes

I will go to the ocean at the end of this harsh world

No one saw it but

I will follow the sound of the waves that I can hear in my head

I want to go forever



Fuji raised his hand to shade his eyes from the hot sun of summer in Chiba. He didn't look forward to being stuck in a traffic jam during rush hour later when he had to go to his class but knew that he had little choice seeing that the street had gotten busier. The heat was so unbearable that he had excused himself from his part-time work in the small publishing office to buy ice cream to cool himself and some cigarettes for his co-worker. Even the small distance between his office building and the convenient store felt like miles in the blazing summer. Fuji had felt a little lightheaded on the way which was probably caused by exhaustion and lack of sleep in the night.

Yumiko had expressed her concern when she called a few nights ago but Fuji managed to convince her that everything was all right. Work and college had simply been a little busy, he told her. Yumiko was rather difficult to convince, as usual. She was the one who was most concerned about Fuji's well being and happiness, even more so than their parents, to the point that she seemed more guilty than the person who had hit Fuji during the accident that had caused his coma over four years ago. But once again, Fuji managed to assuage her. There was no need for his family to be overly worried about his well being for he had made a nearly perfect recovery for the past four years.

Of course Fuji couldn't tell her about the dreams that had plagued his sleep lately. They had been rare at first, visiting him every once in a while, waking him up in lonely nights, but now they visited him frequently, sending him into restless sleeps. He figured that they were fragments of the memories he had yet to regain, but still couldn't make sense of them. He only knew that they were important memories, could feel it in the way his heart thundered in his chest, his body trembled, his arms reached out into the air, his eyes stung with tears whenever the memories visited. It bothered Fuji greatly that he still couldn't make sense of them because he felt that it was something of great importance, could sense the urgency in it. There was something that he must remember, someone he must remember, somewhere to go, someone waiting for him for far too long…

To his annoyance, he couldn't fully remember it. The glimpses that he had seen meant little to him. No matter how hard he tried he could only remember little… Closing his eyes briefly, Fuji recalled the past, wanting this torment to end, begging it to end… He wanted to remember, needed to remember, had to remember…. Fuji remembered the lightly falling snow… the large hand covering his own… the warmth… the gentle smile of another's lips… the light whisper on his ear… the gentle voice that made him feel loved…

Meet me tomorrow at the beach. I'll be waiting..

As he always did. Waiting for Fuji. Waiting…

Fuji's eyes widened, his heart seemed to stop in his chest. Carelessly dropping his bag of groceries, he ran to the train station. He didn't care about his coworker, his afternoon class, his apartment… Someone was waiting for him, had been waiting for him all along... Fuji knew he was still waiting for him… Fuji continued to run, knowing that he must not let this chance past him by again, knowing that this was the missing part of him he was looking for, longing for, knowing that with this he would be complete… He couldn't let happiness slip though his fingers again.


I gave up everything but

Now everything is fading away like smoke

With my remaining strength

To finally satisfy and get rid of my dreams

To forget everything, to forget everything

I will cross the sea



The train seemed to move too slowly. Fuji fidgeted all the way to his destination, biting his bottom lip to ease the nervousness and guilt. Sense couldn't register to him right now. He didn't care that he still wasn't able to remember who the person waiting for him was, he didn't care that he was neglecting the new life he had painstakingly built, he didn't care at all about the future that he had planned. Something told him that this was far more important, and he knew it was true. This was what he was looking for, this was what had been missing, this was what he coveted, this was happiness, this was sadness, this was fear, this was courage, this was life…

His body led him through the wilderness of the city that once had been his home. Fuji didn't even pause to think when he hopped into a bus, knowing instinctively that this was the right one that would lead him to his destination. The familiarity of the scenery and the heat barely registered to him, his only focus was on the person he knew was waiting for him as he must've been all this time.

I'm sorry, please, wait for me… Please, please, wait…

As soon as the bus arrived at his destination, Fuji got off and ran toward the shore. Due to the season, the place was crowded, filled with laughter that didn't echo in his soul. The vast ocean of people surrounded him, stared at him, smiled at him, but they weren't who he was looking for. Where was he?

Fuji searched for one face, one face that he knew he would recognize in a heart beat, in the seemingly endless sea of people. But all was in vain and frantic turned to desperation to guilt to resignation. Had he left? Had he given up on him? Had he moved on without him? Had he been forgotten?

Tears pricked his eyes and Fuji could barely hold them back. He didn't know what or who he was crying for. The person who was supposed to be waiting for him? His past? His future? His happiness? But he knew for sure that this hurt. It hurt to be alone. It hurt to be on his own, no one to wait for him, to care for him, to love him. It hurt to be forgotten. It hurt to be truly alone.

Fuji wrapped his arms around himself to calm his trembling body. In this secluded cliff, no one could watch him break down, no one could watch him give up, no one was here, no one could bring him back up… He was alone…

Fuji looked at the wave crashing to the shore, the tiny bubbles that slowly disappear into thin air and then closed his eyes, letting a tear slid down his cheek.


That someday when that day comes

I will go to the ocean at the end of this harsh world

No one saw it but

I will follow the sound of the waves that I can hear in my head

I want to go forever



Fuji swallowed the painful lump on his throat, preparing to leave his past behind. A part of him wanted to stay, to keep hoping, to wait. But the time was up. They had been waiting for too long and maybe, maybe it's time to move on, push back the pain, and brace the bitter and lonely tomorrow. Choking down a sob, Fuji turned away, feeling his heart crushed when he thought of what he would not return to, what he would always covet, what he could not regain...

He froze when he realized the other presence in the cliff. He had been far too immersed in grief to notice that he wasn't alone. Had the stranger seen anything? Had he noticed how Fuji had broken down? It didn't seem to be the case though, for the stranger was staring into the distant horizon silently, absorbed by his thoughts as he waited…

But was he really a stranger? Why did his brown eyes, obscured by rimless glasses; his tousled brown hair, dancing in the wind; his serious yet gentle face; his tall figure seemed so familiar? Who was he? A name and scenes from distant memory tickled his mind, but Fuji just couldn't say it, the memory eluded him just beyond his reach.

The stranger turned to Fuji, realizing his thoughtful stare. Why did his eyes widened? Why did his lips tremble? Why did he take a step forward as if he wanted to embrace Fuji? Why did he hesitate?

The answers came rushing back to Fuji, overwhelming him, rendering him breathless and senseless. His body trembled with powerful emotions he had not experienced for years. There was confusion, hesitation, wonder… But one thing was for sure, one thing was undeniable. The happiness and affection that spread warmth all over his body was real, it had been there all along, it had never disappeared, it never would.

"Tezuka?"

The gentle, beautiful smile that spread on the tall young man's lips completed him. He had found where he's supposed to be. He had found where he belonged.

OWARI

A/N: I could just kill Fuji right there. Make him jump off that cliff, torture Tezuka more for witnessing the love of his life commit suicide and save myself the trouble of writing more. But I decided to play nice this time *smiles innocently, looks hopefully at a1y_puff *. Anyway, the title is taken from the video of this song in youtube. Just search for Dahl Paeng Ee (yes, that means snail... -.-;;) and click the one by Kyu Hyun. Link to mp3 is also in my LJ. Enjoy and review, please!