A/N I was just watching Wishful Thinking and with the way the brother's relationship is going this series I needed some good old protective Dean and hurt Sam. So this is a slight AU to the episode.

"Well, why can't we just get what we want."

Sam sighed, thinking about the question. Why can't we get what we want? Why can't he be normal, why does he have to have this demon blood pumping through his veins like a disease, why did Dean have to go to hell, why couldn't he help his brother?

He let out a sigh, studying Wes.

"Because that's life, Wes,"

Some life.

Then there was pain and Sam knew nothing.

"Okay man. No more. No more!" He looked at the bullies. "I wouldn't mess with this kid anymore, if I were you." He said, glancing at Todd before turning around with a smirk and walking off.

Sorted. Pulling out his phone Dean dialled Sam, listening as the phone rang out before Sam's voicemail flooded his ears. Great. He tried a few more times, every time the same response.

Dean sighed as he felt that familiar sick feeling in his stomach, maybe his phone was on silent…or maybe Wes hadn't gone along with the plan so easily. Dean looked around, Sam had the car how was he supposed to get there?

He turned around as he heard a car door slam and watched as the driver got out the car and walked into the convenience store…he didn't lock the door.

Moving quickly, Dean crossed the road and slid into the passenger seat and began to hotwire the car. He fumbled with the wires, hands shaking as he glanced over his shoulder to check the driver wasn't returning.

"Come on, come on." He muttered before finally the engine rumbled to a start and Dean floored the accelerator the engine drowning out the shouts of the driver running out of the store. Turning the corner he tried Sam's phone again…nothing.

Sam better be okay.

He pulled up across the street from the restaurant and saw the Impala was still there, killing the engine he got out and jogged across the road. As he drew nearer he stopped, breath catching in his throat as his gaze fell on the crumpled figure lying on the sidewalk. Suddenly it seemed all the air had vanished and Dean could barely draw a breath.

He broke into a run, skidding to a halt in front of his brother's fallen figure.

"Sam…Sammy." He whispered, shaking his brother. Sam's head lolled to the side and he didn't respond.

Dean's heart was pounding, blood rushing in his ears as he reached out two trembling fingers and placed them at Sam's neck. He waited, each second passing like an eternity.

Nothing…nothing, Sam had no pulse, his heart wasn't beating he was…he was…

"No no no no, you don't get to do this to me again. No!" He yelled as his eyes began to burn, he blinked furiously and rolled up his sleeves forcing his mind into submission letting his instincts take over.

This wasn't happening, he wouldn't let it. Sam was not allowed to die after everything, after Cold Oak, after hell. He wouldn't let this happen.

He tilted Sam's head back, he didn't even know what had happened to his brother, he just knew that he needed Sam to breathing again. Sam was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment, the only thing easing the nightmares, the flashbacks, the memories.

He threaded his hands together and began CPR, frantically trying to pump life into his brother's silent heart. He barely noticed the scalding tear sliding down his face as he stared down at his brother.

"Come on damn it!"

He tilted Sam's head back and pinched his nose before breathing twice for Sam, his chest rose and fell and then stilled again.

Dean swallowed hard, a painful lump forming in his throat as he looked down at Sam, his head turned to the side, eyes closed.

"Sam…" He whispered brokenly. He resumed another round of compressions, sweat beading on his forehead as Sam merely lolled beneath him, his body pliant beneath his hands. He gave Sam another round of breaths.


The sudden realisation that Sam was dead hit Dean with the force of a brick wall. An overwhelming feeling of numbness spread over Dean as he slumped down from his knees onto the sidewalk and stared down at Sam's still form.

It was all for nothing…

The door of the Chinese restaurant opened and Dean turned around as Hope walked out, looking slightly dazed. Then he heard a rattling gasp and his head whipped around. Sam's eyes were open, he was breathing heavily and looking around frantically.

Dean opened and closed his mouth numbly as Sam's green eyes met his.

"Dean?" Sam asked, propping himself up on his elbows. Dean swallowed, blinked before pulling Sam into a tight embrace, pressing his brother into his chest who stiffened, bewildered before awkwardly patting Dean on the back.

"Pull a stunt like that again and I will kick your ass." Dean said trying to hide the tremor in his voice.

"I'd like to see you try shortass." Sam replied getting shakily to his feet. He couldn't even remember what happened, one minute he was talking and then the next pain and darkness…he could work out from Dean's face what must have happened though…he'd died. Again. Cold Oak, Jake, Blood, Demon, Dean, Hell

Sam watched Dean who was desperately trying to regain his composure, knowing what it was like to cradle your brother's dead body in your arms.


"Wes must have pulled out the coin, you were…" Dean trailed off and cleared his throat.

"We better go find him." He finished, studying his brother who was still too pale for his liking. Dean couldn't go through something like this again, he couldn't handle it. Even after all that time in hell, he couldn't protect his brother. Sam could still die and leave Dean alone.

That was something Dean was going to have to live with, he was going to protect his brother, from Lillith, from his powers, from anyone, no matter what it took. He wasn't letting Sam go through what he went through.