A/N: Based off the movie that came out 20 something years ago.


Beetlejuice was just sitting there doing nothing when he suddenly appeared in Lydia's bedroom.

"What the hell? Did you just say my name three times?" Beetlejuice asked, looking at Lydia who was fucking some random dude on her bed.

"Whoah!" Lydia cried, covering herself up with the blanket as the random guy stood up, furious.
"WHAT THE HELL, LYDIA. WHY WERE YOU MOANING THIS 'BEETLEJUICE' GUY'S NAME? WHO THE HELL IS HE? ARE YOU SEEING THIS GUY?" The random guy pointed to Beetlejuice, who just stared at him. Then the Hulk busted into Lydia's room, grabbed the guy, and threw him out the window, then made another gigantic hole as he busted out of Lydia's room.

"Um…okay? What the hell is going on here? You were moaning my name during sex?" Beetlejuice asked, turning towards Lydia.

"Bee-" Lydia was interrupted as Beetlejuice put a finger to his lips, making furious shushing noises.

"Listen," Lydia continued. "I-I want you inside of me."

Beetlejuice looked a little confused. "What?" he asked.

"I want you inside of me, damn it!" Lydia cried.

Beetlejuice just stood there, then shrugged. "Hmm, all right." He replied, taking off his clothes and standing there completely naked.

Lydia took the covers off of her, revealing her naked body and slowly walked towards him, then started slowly leaning into him and mildly puckering her lips.

She then gigantically opened her mouth and ate him.

"There. Now you are inside of me." Lydia replied happily, then jumped into bed and fell asleep. Her belly was now extremely big and it looked as though she was pregnant.

Inside Lydia's belly, Beetlejuice was scrunched up into a ball and was looking around, extremely confused.

"Fuck…" he murmured. "Where's someone to say your name three times when you need it?"

Just then, a frog wearing a costume appeared in front of Beetlejuice's face.

"Who the hell are you?" Beetlejuice asked.

"I am the Frog Prince, and I am here to help you escape from the stomach of Lydia Deetz." The frog replied, then cleared his throat as he continued. "You must journey downward, then….."

The next day, Lydia was in the emergency room, being wheeled onto a stretcher by doctors to a nearby room. Her parents were on either side of her, holding onto the stretcher as they ran with it.

"I can't believe Lydia got pregnant in one night!" Mrs. Deetz said, looking with sympathy at her daughter.

"This must be a new world record!" Mr. Deetz said. "Honey, call the world record book of '89!"

Lydia was soon wheeled into a hospital room; she was groaning and grunting like an ape as they wheeled her in.

"Oh, God…" Lydia said as she looked at her massive stomach.

Several hours later, Lydia screamed at the top of her lungs, "The baby's coming! The baby's coming!"

Lydia's parents, a nurse, and a doctor rushed into the room. The doctor opened her legs and looked into her lady parts.

"I can see the head…." he said. "Push, girl, push!"

"C'mon Lydia….push…push!" Lydia's father shouted, making hooting noises and rolling his fist as though he was watching a football game.

"Oh, dear…" her mother responded, taking her daughter's hand and squeezing it.

"OK, I think we…..what the he-" The doctor screamed as a man popped out and slammed his feet onto the doctor. He was looking at the room around him.

"Folks," Beetlejuice began, "it's been a….pleasure serving you." He said, then ran off to somewhere else.

The nurse looked at the doctor, who was passed out onto the floor, then screamed and ran out of the room.

Lydia's parents just stared at her.

"What…the….hell." Mr. Deetz stated simply, staring at Lydia's belly.

"I hate this family." Mrs. Deetz replied.

"I-I wanted him inside me." Lydia responded quietly, then sighed and fell asleep.