Okay, I know it's been forever since I've updated… well, anything. But, I've had serious writer's block on GA for months now, and I wanted to get something up for New Year's, so I decided to finally put up a new Journal entry. For those who have forgotten, we're up to "Invasion of the Idiotic Dog Brain", another one of the really funny ones.
So, with that pathetic excuse out of the way, read on!
Well, this is just fragging great! How could this have happened? And why? ! Why does the universe hate Zim so much? !
It all started so simply. Apparently there was still a problem with my security field even after I planted more gnomes, because some human smeet just walked into my house – in the middle of a call to the Tallest, no less – and was there for several minutes before his maternal unit also showed up and dragged him away.
Realizing that the problem must have been with the house computer's A.I. brain, I decided to replace it. Unfortunately, I required someone to watch the data stream to make sure there weren't any problems while I replaced the brain, so I gave that job to GIR. This has proven to be a big mistake (yes, Zim makes mistakes. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen), as somehow, during the brain transfer, GIR got caught in the data stream, and got his teeny-tiny mind transferred into the base computers.
Let Zim repeat that for those not paying attention to his magnificent voice: GIR, my stupid, psychotic robot, is now controlling my base! My beautiful base! Being controlled by that moron!
And he wasted no time at all being idiotic. First, he used the base's maintenance arms to squeeze me like one of his moose toys. Then, when I was in the elevator, he wouldn't move it unless I danced for him. Zim does not dance! Am I some kind of Vortian prostitute? !
But like I said, he wouldn't move the elevator until I danced for him – and for that matter, he wouldn't stop singing either. So in order to shut him up and get him to move the stupid elevator, I actually degraded myself by dancing for him. And if that weren't bad enough, instead of sending me to the equipment room like I asked (so I could find a way to fix this mess), he sent rocketing up into the house.
Now I'm stuck in this house, cut off from my labs by a completely insane A.I. that's spent the last several hours messing around with every device hardwired or remotely connected to the mainframe. That includes at least a dozen vid-screens playing various human programs, at obnoxiously loud levels, that have surrounded me and won't shut up!
But, Zim must look on the bright side. Not even GIR can keep this up forever. Sooner or later, he has to get bored. Hopefully, when that happens I'll be able to talk him into letting me fix this mess.
Now, I just have to wait…
I can't take it anymore! How long have I been stuck here? Days? Weeks? Months? I've completely lost track of time – GIR won't let me into the labs to fix this, he won't let me out of the house to continue my mission, and worst of all, he still won't SHUT! UP! Not even for two minutes! I can barely get any recharge in due to all this noise.
If this doesn't stop soon, I'm going to go insane! Me! Zim! Insane! Can you imagine that?
Ah, it's good to have things back to normal. Ironically enough, I have GIR's idiocy to thank for that.
Not that it seemed particularly helpful at the time. GIR wanted to get some of that filthy Mexican food of his, so he transformed the base into a mech in order to get there… I didn't know it could do that.
What I did know (since Zim is all knowing… er, except for the house-mech thing), was that a giant four-legged house running amuck through the streets would draw unwanted attention from the dirt-monkeys. And I was right! As soon as GIR started crushing stuff, the stink-human law enforcement started chasing us like a Hogulus after fresh meat.
Fortunately, once we had purchased the tacos, I was able to use them to bribe GIR into taking the base back to where it belonged. And along the way, we even managed to get rid of the law drones chasing in a deliciously destructive manner.
HA! Foolish worm-babies! That'll teach you to mess with superior Irken technology!
Anyway, once we were back where we're supposed to be, I was able to further use the tacos to blackmail GIR. Since he didn't have a body, he didn't have a mouth, so he wasn't able to actually eat any of these meat-filled corn tubes of human filth. So, after getting that point across into his advanced-to-the-point-of-being-stupid brain, I was able to convince him to allow me into the labs, and I was able to get him back into his body and the proper A.I. brain installed.
Of course, the first thing I did was contact the Tallest and let them know that I wasn't dead after so long without contact. And of course they were so relieved to see me that they were speechless.
So, now I'm just going to relax – Irk knows I've earned it. And besides, things are back to normal. In fact, they're probably more normal than ever. Even more normal than… uh, something that's very normal, like a normal thing that's normal…
Ah, the heck with this. Zim needs recharge.
Invader Zim signing off.
A/N: So, not much there, but I tried to be as in character as I could.
Anyway, I am really hoping that I'll have a GA update soon. Hmm, perhaps I'll try a oneshot or two to try and break my writer's block. It's worked before.
In any case, read and review, and Happy New Year!