Sorry it took so long... It's just that these last two weeks were real nasty for me. First I hurt my wrist. Then my brother got a pretty bad cold and I had to spend two nights awake taking care of him. Then I got the cold (I still have it but I feel much better now).
Disclaimer: My friend told me to say that I own it... But I
had to remind her I might get sued if I did... Then she said: "it would be
a great way to know the guy that owns it!" And I said: "Yeah,
And She said: "Come on! What do you have to lose?"
And I said: "You are right... I have no money. Maybe he would pity me and say that I can have Kenshin. I'd be so happy!"
She said: "Hana-chan... How long it had been since your last appointment with your therapist?"
I said: "A few weeks. Why? Oh! You think I am delusional again! You are wrong! Kenshin exists and I'm going to prove it!"
I got no answer. I ran to the phone and called my therapist.
Me: "I'm doing it again! I'm talking to my imaginary friend!"
My therapist: "What did she tell you this time?"
Me: "She told me to say I own it, so I could get a law suit from the guy who owns it, Watsuki-san. That way, he might pity me and give me Kenshin for my birthday."
My therapist: "Yeah, that would be a great idea!
My therapist: "Well... At least you can get to travel to interesting places, ne?"
I stare at the phone, wondering why my therapist sounds just like me. Then I yell: "YOU ARE ALL CRAZY!!!!! I DON'T OWN RUROUNI KENSHIN AND I AM NOT GOING TO SAY I DO JUST TO GET A LAW SUIT!"
You big time lawyers heard me...
On with the story!
"FIRE!" Yahiko's voice echoed through the dojo.
Both Kenshin and Kaoru ran to find Yahiko standing outside the storage room.
"In there." Yahiko pointed.
Kenshin and Kaoru entered the storage room without a second thought.
"Where is the fire? I can't smell smoke!" Kaoru said, looking around.
The door closed violently behind them. They were locked in.
"Open this door, Yahiko!" Kaoru shouted.
"No way, busu. I'm not going to stand here and watch
my family fall apart. I'm not opening this door until you and Kenshin talk
"Open this door, or else!"
"What, Busu? If you kick it down you will only prove to the world what I know for very long... That you are not actually a Tanuki, but a monster disguised as one!"
"Kenshin! Do something!" Kaoru ordered.
"I don't know! Break down the door with your sword."
"I don't have my sword with me, Kaoru-dono."
"WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU ALWAYS HAD THAT THING WITH YOU!"
"The Sakabattou is not a thing..." Kenshin's feelings were hurt. "And I don't carry it with me around the house."
On the other side of the door, Yahiko sighed.
"Busu, you better start talking to Kenshin, and don't yell. I won't let you out if you are yelling. Oyasumi nasai, busu, Kenshin."
"YAHIKO!" Kaoru kept yelling for more than ten minutes, while Kenshin just sat down and enjoyed the sight.
Kaoru had her face red from anger. Her eyes were puffy from crying, but still, to Kenshin she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had a new kimono on, that he never had seen her wearing before. She had already undid her hair, so it fell free over her back and shoulders.
"THE LITTLE BRAT IS NOT OPENING THE DOOR." Kaoru finally came to the conclusion.
"I'm sure he will let us out in the morning."
"I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE ALL NIGHT!"
"Calm down, Kaoru-dono. It will only be for a few hours."
"I DON'T WANT TO SPEND 'A FEW HOURS' WITH YOU." Kaoru finally dropped to the floor, sitting like a grouching child that had been denied something she longed for. Things just kept getting worse by the minute.
"Perhaps we could do what Yahiko suggested."
"I have nothing to talk with you." Kaoru had stopped yelling, but she was as mad as before.
"Allow sessha to do the talking, then."
"Do whatever you want. That doesn't mean I'll listen." Kaoru felt the need to kick herself for saying such an idiotic thing. There was no way she couldn't hear him if he started talking.
'Now he is going to try to explain how he loves Megumi and I mean nothing to him...' Kaoru thought bitterly.
"You look very beautiful, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin said.
Kaoru lifted her head. That wasn't what she expected to hear.
"I thought you said you were not going to listen." Kenshin smiled.
'I wasn't going to, but that definitely got my attention.' Kaoru thought, but said nothing.
'This is going to be very hard.' Kenshin thought to himself. She was very hurt by a misunderstanding. It made him feel bad. He couldn't stand to see her hurt, even more if he was the cause.
"Sessha did something really stupid yesterday, besides drinking with Sano. That makes two very stupid things I did on the same day. I was going to leave, but Sano saw me and talked me into coming back. Even if he hadn't talked to me, I don't think I could go far either... Deep inside I knew that I couldn't leave without saying good bye and saying it to you is something I don't have the heart to do again."
Kaoru's eyes were wide open. She could only imagine what would be her life without Kenshin. It would be empty, hollow. She was mad with him, but she couldn't possibly think of him leaving her.
"You would... Just leave me?" Kaoru felt the tears coming to her eyes.
"I was concerned about you. I didn't want you to be unhappy by my staying here. But when I came back... This is my home, Kaoru. Not because I live here. People say that home is where the heart is. My heart is yours. Wherever you are it's home. Under a bridge would be home, if you were there."
"Stop!" Kaoru cried. "You can't say these nice things and expect all the wrongs you did to go away! I saw you!"
"It was a shame, actually. A misunderstanding between Megumi-dono and myself. I hope Megumi-dono forgives me for being rude." Kenshin said.
"I was trying to get a woman's advice on our situation, but I failed miserably. Instead, I gave Megumi-dono the wrong impression.... I plan on apologizing to her soon."
"You mean... You don't... You didn't..." Kaoru's eyes were shining once more. "You don't like Megumi?"
"I like Megumi-dono. She's a friend, that's the only kind of affection I carry for her. You honestly didn't think... Oh... You did think that I cared for her as something more than a friend?"
Kaoru's face turned red.
"I never know what to think when it comes to you, Kenshin!" Kaoru objected.
"Well, I couldn't hand over my heart to Megumi-dono. I can't give to anyone what have already been given. My heart is yours, Kaoru."
"Why would anyone bother to love me? I'm not a lady, I'm not polite, I'm not feminine..."
"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen on my life. Who cares if you don't behave like a lady? You are courageous, compassionate, strong... You care about people without ask nothing in return. You are generous enough to take into your home a wanderer without really knowing anything about him."
"I'm that naive."
"Maybe. But that's one of the things that made me fall in love with you."
"You don't have to say this."
"I would never lie to you. I love you, Kaoru."
Kenshin kneeled beside Kaoru. She could feel her heart pounding like hell.
"If you want me to leave, I would leave." He said. "You just have to say so."
"I can't. I don't want you to leave... I want you to stay here with me."
"Kaoru-dono... I completely understand if you say 'no', but I need to ask you this again. I promise this will be the last time. Will you marry sessha?"
"I will... But only if you stop calling me Kaoru-dono."
Kenshin scratched his head in confusion for a second. Then his eyes grew brighter, as he said:
"Very well, Kaoru-koishii."
Kaoru just melted at his words. As he kissed her, Kaoru knew they would stay together forever.
It was a happy day at Kamiya Dojo. A few close friends had been invited to celebrate what Sano gently called: "the day when Jou-chan and Kenshin tied the knot, it was damn time if you ask me."
"You owe me." Yahiko said to Kenshin.
"Aa." Kenshin agreed.
"You owe me big time."
"And next time, please don't let busu be too hard on me."
"She wasn't hard on you."
"Yeah, right. Five hundred swings and cleaning the dojo's floor for three hours. I could actually see my reflection on the floor when I finished."
"Domo Arigatou, Yahiko."
"You are welcome. And you know I must care for the well being of my family, ne?" Yahiko said, turning to leave.
"Yahiko, could you please keep it a secret?"
"No problem. I wouldn't want busu to become a widow. She would never find other person crazy enough to marry her. I must say, Kenshin, I never thought you were capable of planning like this. I was most surprised when you asked me to lock you and busu in the storage room. Well... What matters is that it worked."
"Kami-sama... Help me." Kenshin said, his eyes growing wide as watermelons.
"It's not too late for you to run!" Yahiko laughed, when he saw what Kenshin was looking at.
"I wonder... What kind of story is he telling her? That man is sick!"
Seijuro Hiko sat comfortably (or as comfortable as a man his size can sit anywhere) on the dojo's porch. By his side stood the Kamiya girl, or should we say, Himura-san.
"Thank you so much for coming." She said with a true happy smile on her face.
"I couldn't not to. I had to make sure that baka student of mine wasn't going to freak out and run. So, I guess it worked, huh?"
"Hai." Kaoru answered, her cheeks turning an interesting shade of pink.
"Like I told you in my letter, baka deshi is a weak drinker. I remember that once he stole my sake while I went to town for a few hours. When I got home, the idiot was butt naked standing on the roof, yelling something like he was the emperor of the world. I honestly don't know what kind of twisted ego would say something like that. Then he tried to make a pass on the chimney. Of course, he was so drunk that he slipped and fell inside the chimney and got stuck. He almost died from inhaling smoke, but he lived. It was funny." Hiko took another sip of his sake. "I honestly don't know how he keeps surviving... Maybe it's because of his stupidity."
"Thank you very much for your advices, Hiko-san." Kaoru said, pretending that she didn't hear him. "I guess I need to thank Sano also. He kept it a secret when I asked him to buy the sake. The only problem is that he thought he should organize a party too..."
"What can I say? Baka deshi has baka friends..."
Hi, Minna-san. Thanks everybody for the support while I was writing this. You really are great readers, because I never expected someone to review this story. Thank you very much.
This is probably my last funny fic. I found out those are too hard to write. I think I'll go into drama next. If I ever try writing something funny again it will probably be an one shot.
Just answering a few reviews:
Zosocrowe: I giggle all the time while I am writing something... I think I must sound exactly like Beavis and Butthead.
Koneko-dono: your alter ego is really scary.