Full summary: Edward is the total bad boy - he drinks, he does drugs, he's practically failing school, etc. Bella is the total good girl - she gets straight As, never drinks or gets high, doesn't party, etc. They both have feelings for each other, but Edward refuses to go out with Bella because he doesn't want her to be like him and ruin her future. But will a secret about Bella change his mind or will there be no happily ever after for the pair? All human. Based on the song "Never Think" by Rob Pattinson from the Twilight movie soundtrack.
Boring. Boring, boring, boring, Edward Cullen told himself as he stared down at his biology book. He sat in his lab partner's room, on the floor, studying. His partner had chivalrously agreed to tutor him since he was failing the class. Actually, he was failing all of his classes. But he didn't care. He hated to study and to work. All he wanted was to go out and party, to smoke weed and do drugs, to drink and get high. Instead, he was stuck here, studying for the test next week. He groaned quietly and looked up from his studying. Bad idea.
Bella Swan, his lab partner, lay on her bed, her book and notes spread out in front of her. Her head was propped up on one hand and the other lay half on her side, half out in front of her, turning the pages of her book. The position was a massive tribute to how perfect a body she had; her hip and her shoulder stuck up into the air, a massive dip between them, highlighting her thin waist. Her long, mahogany brown hair fell over her back and raised shoulder and her chocolate brown eyes moved swiftly from side to side as she read.
Edward would never admit it, but he had a huge crush on Bella. Even though she was his complete opposite – he was a bad-ass party boy who was failing every class he took, she was the straight-As good girl – he was attracted to her in a way he could never describe. While he was normally good at reading people, Bella was a complete mystery. He could never read her face; consequently, he always found himself pondering the mystery of her true feelings for him.
I should never think
What's in your heart
Bella Swan looked up from her biology book and caught her lab partner, Edward Cullen, staring at her. "Yes, Edward?" she said, blushing.
Edward looked away, embarrassed. "Nothing," he said. He looked back down at his biology book and pretended to study once more.
Bella sighed softly. Edward was always so cryptic, so hard to understand. His bad boy attitude was meant to keep people out. Yet it was that mystery, that air of rule-breaking that drew her to him. She wanted him, more than anything in the world, and she was pretty sure he wanted her. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see it clearly: him and her, together, twenty years from now, married, with two little children. The image haunted her during the day, plagued her dreams during the night. She wanted it and badly.
What's in our home
It's all I want
Edward ran his fingers through his messy bronze hair. Is it possible that she does want me? It was possible. As far as she knew, he was just a bad student. She didn't know the rest – the drugs he had done, all of the drinking he did, the reckless parties he had been to. If she knew, she would never love him. She'd see him as a monster. Everyone else who used to care for him did. She would never love a monster. Monsters were meant to be hated, not loved. And he was a monster. He buried his head in his hands.
Bella looked at Edward, concerned. She couldn't bear seeing him in pain. Slowly, she stood up and walked over to him. She knelt down beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, are you all right?"
"I'm fine," he said without looking up.
"I don't believe that," she said firmly.
"I'm fine, Bella, it's just a little headache."
"Do you want some Tylenol?"
Edward looked up at her, his emerald green eyes blazing with an unknown emotion. "Why are you being so nice to me? Don't forget, it's because of me that you're stuck at home on a Saturday, studying."
Bella swallowed. "I'm being so nice because I care about..." Bella's voice trailed off and she blushed.
"You care about…?"
"You. I care about you, Edward."
Edward couldn't believe his ears. So she does have feelings for me. His heart swelled with joy for a fraction of a second. I'm a monster. She doesn't have feelings for me. She can't have feelings for me. She just thinks she does because she doesn't know the truth.
"You don't know what you're saying, Bella," he told her sharply.
Bella started. "I think I do, Edward."
"Bella, I'm a monster. I'm no good for you."
"So you're failing school. Big deal. Ever since I started tutoring you, you've gotten better."
"That's just the tip of the iceberg, Bella. I'm a horrid person. I… I do drugs, I drink, I'm an obsessive partier. I've gotten totally wasted before. I've nearly killed myself from overdosing. I'm a monster, Bella."
"It doesn't matter to me what you are," Bella said quietly. "I still care about you Edward."
You'll learn to hate me
But still you call me baby
"Bella, please listen to me," Edward reasoned with her. "You can't like me. It's not good for you to like me."
"Why do you care if I like you or not? You like me too, don't you?" Bella asked. Edward stared at her. "You're making excuses why I shouldn't like you. If you didn't like me, you wouldn't need these excuses. You'd tell me you don't like me and that would be the end. But you're making excuses, which must mean you like me. So are you making excuses for me or for yourself?"
Edward sighed. "Yes, Bella, I like you."
"Then why does any of this matter?"
"Bella, do you not understand? I'll destroy your life."
"No, you'll make it better. I don't want a life without you in it."
"You don't know what you're saying."
"Maybe I don't. But I do know what my heart wants."
"And it wants a monster?"
"You're not a monster, Edward."
"Yes, I am, Bella. I'm a horrid person, a monster. I'm no good for you."
So call me by my name
Bella took Edward's hands in hers. "Edward, please, I'm begging you. Let's just try this. We can make it work. I know we can."
Edward pulled his hands away from her. "No, Bella. I refuse to condemn you to the life I live."
"I don't care how I live. I just want to be you."
"Bella, don't you see what you're giving up?"
"I'm not giving anything up. I'm getting you."
"Bella, you have a bright future ahead of you. With your brains, you can get into any college you want; any door is open for you. I refuse to take that away from you."
And save your soul
save your soul
Before you're too far gone
Before nothing can be done
For the briefest second, Edward considered what would happen if he agreed with Bella. If he were to be with her. An image of Bella, pale, dead, lying on her bed, drugs and alcohol around her, appeared behind his eyelids. No. I won't let that happen to her. I won't let me be the one to kill her. I won't bury her because she loved me.
I'll try to decide where
She'll lie in the end
"Edward please, just give it a chance. If it looks like things are going to end badly, we can forget we ever tried this. Please."
Edward sighed. I don't want to fight her. I should, but I can't. "Bella, I don't want to fight with you about this. I just don't have the will to fight any longer."
I ain't got no fight in me
In this whole damn world
"So you're willing to try, Edward?" Bella asked timidly.
"I never said that, Bella. I just said that I wasn't going to fight you about this. I still won't go out with you."
"Bella, I've told you already, I'm not the right person for you. You need someone with as bright a future as you. Not me. I could never have a future like yours."
"Of course you could, Edward."
"Bella, please, I don't want to talk about this. I don't know what you've been envisioning for the future, but you need to let go of it. It just won't work." Even as I said the words, I knew she wouldn't give up that easy. She would keep holding on to her dream.
Tell you to hold off
"No, Edward. I'm not going to give up on us. On you. I believe that it could be. I'm going to hold on." Edward sighed. He knew she would say that. Bella was stubborn. She would never give this up. Never.
You choose to hold on
It's the one thing that I've known
Edward could take it no longer. He had to leave, leave and never see her again. He couldn't be around her. He would be too vulnerable; he would give in and destroy her life. He gathered his books and stood up. "I need to go." He started walking towards the door.
Bella grabbed his arm. "Please don't go, Edward. Please," she begged.
He shook off her grasp. "I'm sorry, Bella. It's for the better."
"How?" she demanded, furious.
"It just is." He opened the door and walked into the hall. He hurried down the stairs.
Bella followed him. "I want to know how this is better for us. You're hurting yourself too, Edward. I thought you liked me." Tears were starting to fall down her cheeks.
"I do, Bella." He placed his books on the small end table and went to get his coat.
"Then why are you doing this?"
"I'm doing this because I like you, Bella. I'm sacrificing what I want for what's best for you."
Bella shook her head. "This doesn't make sense. You're willing to hurt us both just because you think it's what's best for me."
Once I put my coat on
I'm coming out of this all wrong
Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry, Bella." He slid on his coat and gathered up his books. "This is for the best." He opened the door and walked outside, into the rain. Bella followed him. She grabbed onto his arm, stopping him. He turned to look at her. "Let go of me, Bella."
"No," she said firmly.
"No, Edward. Not until you listen to me."
"Bella, there is nothing in the world you can say that will make me change my mind."
"This isn't about getting you to change your mind anymore. I just want you to fully understand what you're walking away from."
Edward stared at her, confused. "What are you talking about, Bella?"
Bella looked up at him, her brown eyes meet his green ones. "Edward, I…. I'm in…." She took a deep breath. "Edward, I love you."
She's standing outside holding me
Saying oh please
I'm in love
Edward didn't speak. Finally, he asked, "Did…. Did you just say you…. You love me?"
"Yeah, I did," Bella said calmly. "I love you, Edward."
I'm in love
Edward looked at Bella's expectant face. She was waiting for a response. She thought she had him, that she had finally won. But she was wrong. She hadn't won. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all.
"This doesn't change anything, Bella," Edward told her. "I still won't go out with you. I'm still all wrong for you. I'm still a monster. I could kill you, Bella. So, so easily."
"Edward," Bella pleaded. "Please. Let's just try. We can make things better, I promise. We can get help and…"
"No one can help," Edward said bluntly.
"If you don't let them, of course no one can help."
"I'm sorry Bella, but I refuse to damn you to the life I'm living. You need to turn back now, before it's too late for you."
Girl save your soul
Go on save your soul
Before it's too far gone
And before nothing can be done
"It's already too late," Bella said. "I'm already in too deep."
"Don't say that, Bella," Edward snarled. "Just turn around and forget this ever happened. Go ask out somebody better for you, like Mike Newton."
"I don't want Mike. I want you."
"You have a future with Mike. You don't have one with me. I won't let you sacrifice everything you have for me, Bella. I just won't."
'Cause without me
You got it all
So hold on
"Edward, you won't be taking my future away. I won't be sacrificing anything. Why can't you see that?" Bella said.
"All I see, Bella, is you, dead, because of me. Because I brought you into my life. Because I gave you the tools to destroy yourself. Do you think I could live with myself if I did that to you? What is it going to take to get you to see that I'm doing this because I like you, too? I'm saving you from me because I care. Because I want you to live and be the world-changing person you're destined to be instead of wasting all of your potential by being with someone who could never equal you and will destroy you."
Without me you got it all
So hold on
"Edward, you have just as much potential as I do."
"No I don't Bella. Once upon a time, maybe, but I've long since destroyed any chances of mine. I'd just hold you back. Without me, you'll be able to shine to your fullest."
Without me you got it all
Something inside Bella snapped. "You know what, Edward, you're right. I am better off without you."
Edward started. "Wh…what?" he stammered.
"You heard me," Bella said, her cold eyes glaring at him. "I said that you were right. I'm better off without a monster like you. I shouldn't let you keep me from my bright future. I can do so much better than you, Edward."
"Of course you can," Edward mumbled. "You have everything without me."
"That's right," Bella said. "I have everything without you."
Without me you got it all
So hold on
"You know what, Edward?" Bella asked. "I think I'm going to take you're advice and ask Mike out. We have so much potential together, don't you think? Two brilliant, forward-thinking minds such as ours, together. What a perfect match, don't you think?"
"Yeah," Edward muttered. "Perfect."
Bella heard the pain in Edward's voice, saw the sorrow in his eyes. She resisted the urge to smile. So he can feel pain after all, she thought. Good. She hated doing this to him, but there was no other way. If he refused to try, she would do exactly what he wanted. She would do it and she would torture him with it. She wanted him to hurt, to feel as bad as she did.
"I'm glad you agree, Edward." Bella smiled. "Mike and I really are perfect together. Not like you and I. We would never work. I mean, look at you. You're an obsessive partier, a druggie, an alcoholic. You're flunking every single class you're taking and don't care. And look at me. I never drink, don't do drugs, rarely party. I'm a straight-A student. Someone like you with someone like me? It would never work. You'd only drag me down."
"I know, Bella," Edward said, his voice giving out. He couldn't take much more. Her words hurt. But everything that came out of her mouth was true. She had everything and he had nothing. She should let go of him and hold on to the bright future she had.
Without me you got it all
So hold on
"Goodbye, Edward," Bella said. "I'd like to say it's been nice knowing you, but honestly, it's just been a waste of my time. There's really no hope for you, Edward. I don't even know why I bothered."
"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward said.
"Save it for someone who wants to hear it."
Edward nodded. "Goodbye, Bella." He started to walk away.
"Oh, and Edward?" Edward turned. "I'm not as perfect as you think I am. I'm no better than you."
"I don't believe that, Bella."
"No?" Bella rolled up her sweater sleeve and held out her arm so Edward could see it. He stared in confusion at the many fading scars on her arm. Knife scars.
"Bella, is that… do you…?" He was so shocked; he could barely form words.
"Are those cutting scars? Do I cut myself?" Bella asked, heavy skepticism in her voice. "Yeah, those are. And I used to. For years. But I got help and was able to get my life back on track. And so could you. Now do you still think that I'm too good for you?" Edward was so shock, he couldn't speak. Bella misinterpreted his silence. "Fine," she said bluntly. "I'll see you around, Edward." She turned and hurried back into her house, slamming the door behind her.
Without me you got it all
Edward stood frozen for what felt like the longest time. He couldn't comprehend what Bella had just told him. The thought that she had dealt with problems like him was incomprehensible. He was sure she was lying. But those scars… those were real. She couldn't be lying if she had those scars. She said she had gotten help and that so could he. But did he want it?
Edward marched up to the door. Without thinking, he knocked on the door. Bella pulled it open. "What do you want, Edward?" she snapped.
"I… I want…" Edward swallowed. "I want help. I don't want to live like this anymore, Bella. Please help me." Tears started leaking out of his eyes and he crumpled to the ground, crying.
Bella didn't even stop to think about what he had said or the things she had done. She knelt down beside Edward and wrapped her arms around him. She pulled his head onto her shoulder and he buried his head into the crook of her neck, still sobbing. "It's okay, Edward. I'm here for you. We'll get you help. I promise we will."
Edward lifted his head up and looked at Bella. Utter sincerity shone from every inch of her face, burned in her eyes. Without thinking, he leaned in and kissed her. "Don't leave me, Bella," he murmured against her lips.
"I promise I won't, Edward. I'll always be here for you. I'm never going to let go."
He kissed her again lightly. "Thank you, Bella."
So hold on
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