The Girlfriend Problem

By PaBurke

Batman/BtVS 100 Drabble. An answer to the 1000 Drabble Pairing challenge. If I could find that webpage, I'd post this there but instead I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Author's Note: In my mind, Dick Grayson is the best chance at a healthy relationship that Buffy can get. He's the right age, has a painful past but is well-adjusted, a bit of a bad boy, trains hard, has lots of neat gadgets that could help him keep up with the Vampire Slayer, and he doesn't kill humans. I'm not the first person to come up with this pairing. Someone else did a very nice, long, story with it and if I could remember whom or where, I'd tell you. Alas, you'll have to make due with my 100 words.

***

Dick Grayson smiled as he watched the gentle sway of his date's golden hair and the sexy sashay of her hips. Buffy turned and waved flirtatiously before letting herself into her apartment.

"She was the main suspect in a murder and was expelled from one high school for burning down the gym." The familiar voice spoke from the shadows to Dick's left. "Her second high school exploded on her graduation day under mysterious circumstances. You cannot tell her about Batman."

Dick had done his own background check. "Mind telling me how she unanimously got voted Class Protector?"

Silence answered him.

The Boyfriend Problem

By PaBurke

Sequel to 'The Girlfriend Problem,' 'cause Elaine asked. If you're interested in the longer story I mentioned, check the reviews, several people knew what I was talking about. Batman/BtVS 100 Drabble. An answer to the 1000 Drabble Pairing challenge. If I could find that webpage, I'd post this there but instead I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Later on the phone...

"Buffy, Dick's bad news."

"Willow!"

"Seriously, a guy named Dick?"

"Xander!!!"

"Name aside, he's not good."

"Willow, he's a sweetie."

"Buffy, I did some serious hacking. He lives with Bruce Wayne and his parents were killed."

"I know. We missed the movie because we were talking so much."

"Buffy, I think he's Nightwing."

"Who?"

"The terror that flaps in the night..."

"Xander, shut up! I'll ask Willow kick you off the extension."

"Buffy, I did some photo comparisons and I'm sure Wayne's Batman, and Dick's Nightwing, used to be Robin."

"So he has horrible fashion sense?"

The Butler Solution

By PaBurke

Sequel to 'The Boyfriend Problem,' 'cause Teri and Ranlynn had to say something. Yeah, this was supposed to be a one shot deal, and now I'm working on Part III and Part IV. Where did I go wrong? Batman/BtVS 100 Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Dick Grayson twisted around so that he could see the back of his suit. Even the multiple mirrors of Wayne manor didn't give him a clear idea. He wanted his third date with Buffy to be perfect.

"You look quite respectable, Master Dick."

"Thank-you, Alfred."

"If I might be so bold, have you procured flowers for tonight?"

Dick whirled around, "Flowers!?"

Alfred had a bouquet in hand. "I took the liberty of snipping a few roses from the greenhouse."

"Alfred, you're a lifesaver." Dick snatched the flowers and ran out the door.

"You're just encouraging him," said Bruce.

"Really, sir?"

The Watcher Solution

By PaBurke

Sequel to 'The Butler Solution,' 'cause Teri and Ranlynn had to say something. Yeah, this was supposed to be a one shot deal, and now this is Part IV. Where did I go wrong? Batman/BtVS 100 Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

"Giles, please?"

"Buffy, I don't believe this is wise."

"It's not fair. I know his secret, shouldn't he know mine?"

"Life's not fair. You've had multiple problems integrating your boyfriends and your calling before."

"Giles, he's Nightwing, a protector of the city. Don't you think he should know about vampires? What good is a protector if he can't slay the undead?"

Giles sighed and surrendered to the inevitable. "Very well, when will you tell Dick?"

"Actually, I was hoping you would."

"Me?"

"The 'One Girl in all the world' just sounds more believable coming from someone with a British accent."

The Vigilante Problem

By PaBurke

Where did I go wrong? I will admit that drabbles are great stress relievers when stories over forty pages and 20,000 words are being stubborn. Batman/BtVS 100 word Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Batman was losing the fight.

The two muggers were faster than him, stronger than him and had a higher pain tolerance. They were wearing ridiculous masks, not that he could talk.

He was better trained. He had radioed for backup but Nightwing was on the other side of Gotham. Batman would not die this way.

He refused to die and he refused to run away.

"Oh, goody," Batman could not believe the giggle he heard. "It's a costume party!"

He looked and stared at the girl in the alleyway. What was Dick's new girlfriend doing on this side of town?

The Sidekick Problem

By PaBurke

Where did I go wrong? Batman/BtVS 100 word Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Nightwing used his grappling hook like never before. He hurried and he worried.

Batman had asked for help.

Nightwing swung around another building and wished for the Batglider. Would he be in time?

What had forced Batman to call for backup?

He dropped lightly on a building near Batman's last known position and quietly leaned over the edge. And very nearly fell to the ground.

There Batman was being kissed on the cheek by Buffy Summers, Dick's girlfriend! Buffy bounced away, but at the end of the alley, she turned and stared straight at Dick.

And blew him a kiss.

The Slayer Solution

By PaBurke

Where, oh, where did I go wrong? Batman/BtVS 100 word Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

"You let her kiss you!" Dick was outraged.

"It was just a gesture. After all, she had saved my life."

Dick screeched. "What?"

Even Alfred was surprised. "I say, Master Bruce."

Bruce Wayne ignored both men. He placed a wooden stake on the computer screen. "Computer, analyze."

"Analyzing. California Redwood, felled approximately three years ago."

"Computer, are there any drugs or machines within?"

"Negative."

"Any foreign substance whatsoever?"

"Negative."

"Bruce, what is going on?"

"Your girlfriend invited us over for dinner tonight."

"Great. I just changed out of my costume. I'll go and get it..."

"She invited Bruce and Dick."

The Scooby Solution

By PaBurke

Where, oh, where did I go wrong? Batman/BtVS 100 word Drabble. I'm posting it at Twisting the Hellmouth. I own neither universe. No spoilers.

Buffy opened the apartment door and held out her hand. "Mr. Pointy?"

Bruce handed over the wooden stake.

"See," Buffy gloated. "I'm not a candidate for Arkham."

Dawn snorted.

"That remains to be seen," said Bruce.

Buffy kissed Dick on the cheek. "Hi, honey. You're not leaving poor Alfred out there in the cold, are you?"

Giles walked into the living room with tea. "Dawn, please invite Mr. Pennyworth in."

Buffy plopped on the couch. "So, are we going to talk about vampires or bats?"

"I'd rather talk about you."

Buffy smirked. "Sorry Brucie, but Dick's already used that line."