Why does everything have to be so dark in my world? Why does no one notice my depression? To me it seems like it's obvious. I have two sisters who know the cause for my depression. A very hard subject to talk about. But I talk to my sisters about it anyway; they comfort me and try to reassure me. If only my depression could be solved so easily. I have this void in me, that contains nothing. That void used to be a part of me that was so important. It was a part of me that got ripped away so fast that I could do nothing but break-down (emotionally) and let that emptiness burn me.
I am not the only one who suffers. My sisters suffer, but they are stronger. They feel the same way as I do; but that part of them has been blocked. There minds have blocked there suffering and the events of that awful night.
I lost my parents.
That burning sensation in my heart reared its ugly head. I clutched my chest and let my tears fall down my face.
I sat on my bed; sobs erupting from my chest and let the flames engulf me. The flames of pain. The flames of regret. The flames of solitude. Solitude feels horrible. So... alone.
A light knock on my door, distracted me from the burning sensations; but the burn was still there. A voice full of worry came from the other side of my bedroom door, "Bella. Sweetie, let me in." It was the pleading voice of Alice, one of my dear sisters.
"Alice..." That was the only thing that I could say, as the sobs made it hard to talk.
"Bella, is the door open?" She asked.
"Y-yes." I stuttered.
Alice opened the door slowly, until her head appeared round the door. She gasped, then flung herself across the room onto my bed. She enveloped me in a tight comforting hug. "Shh Bella, it's okay. Shh, calm down, it's alright." As Alice said the last two words, I violently sobbed louder and screamed.
"Alice! It's not alright! Are parents are DEAD!" -I felt her flinch, but I carried on - "They are gone! Gone, gone, gone." I shrieked.
Alice sighed, "I know Bella. I'm sorry, those were the wrong words."
I sighed as well and pulled away from Alice, "Don't say sorry Alice. It's not your fault. I-I-I just need to be... stronger." I whispered. Alice gave me an apologizing smile.
"Bella. I know how you feel. I am not stronger but I can hide it...more." She said.
"I can hide it. I know I can." I whispered more to myself than Alice.
"You can Bella and you already do." - I gave her a confused look - "Oh c'mon Bella! No one notices anything." She flew her hands up in the air, then after she took a deep breath. I could not disagree with her statement. No one notices my suffering, apart from my sisters.
"Are you better?" Alice asked. I nodded my head. Alice's face lit up as she examined her watch. She suddenly burst into a frenzy. I watched her with wide-eyes as she ran around my room; picking up makeup and hair accessories. She chucked them onto my bed, then flung open my walk-in closet.
"Alice. What are you doing?" I asked in a suspicious tone.
"Getting items to help you look perfect tonight! You, Rose and I are going to a party." She squealed as she threw the contents of my wardrobe into my room.
"Alice..." I whined.
"Don't start Bella! You are going out tonight AND you are going to have fun! Understood?" She screamed in a demanding tone.
"But..." I started but Rosalie - my other sister - burst through the door to my bedroom and gave me a death glare.
"Listen to me Isabella Marie Swan! You NEED this!" She screamed.
"NO! Listen to ME Rosalie Swan! I don't want to go out!" I screamed back.
"Yes you are!" Rose and Alice shouted. I sighed and gave up. When Rose and Alice set there minds on something, they would never back down.