AN: You guys are amazing. Over 200 reviews for Savior? Thank you so much. I never expected such a response.
Okay so the sequel begins. Don't expect weekly updates like with Savior, I haven't mapped everything out yet. Updates will be a little slower because of that, and because of placement tests and stuff like that. Either way I know a lot of you are excited about the sequel.
Reading Savior is not required for this story, but it would help. Some situations from Savior will be mentioned that will not make total sense unless you've read it.
Also sorry the first chapter is a bit of a slow start haha. Enjoy anyway.
Disclaimer: Can I claim to own the Savior universe? It is AU after all xD
Chapter one: Two Years Later
It's been two years since Mello and I were accepted into Wammy's. Two years. It feels like I just got here, but at the same time I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Wammy's house was my home. Home…what a nice word. A celebration on Christmas, a warm place to sleep, real meals every day, and most of all someone who cared about me. Then again I had the last one since I escaped from my parent's home.
Mello and I were as close as ever. In fact, Mello was the only person I really talked to. I didn't trust the other orphans here. They only cared about being the best. Sure they may have friends but I didn't know them. They could just be using each other. Besides they had no interest in me anyway.
Mello talked to others occasionally, but not very often. I don't think he really trusts anyone here. It's probably amazing that he could come to trust me.
People had stopped staring after a couple of days. After all, they had important things to study for…to become the next L.
Frankly I didn't really care about it. Mello did though. He cared a lot. I think he feels indebted to L for helping us.
We still share a bed…Mello's bed. We'd never talked about it; it just felt safer for both of us. This had lately though led to less than pure thoughts.
Because…I've had feelings for Mello for a while now. And not just 'oh he's attractive' feelings, but strong feelings. 'You're all I think about' feelings. 'My life is meaningless without you' feelings. 'I would die to keep you safe and happy' feelings.
Yeah, those kinds of feelings.
I suppose I've been in love with him a while. I discovered it sixth months and twenty eight days ago. I had seen a girl confess her feelings for Mello. She'd even leaned up and tried to kiss him.
He pushed her away, but that was the moment I knew it. I could finally identify the burning feeling I got in my stomach whenever anyone stood too close to him. It wasn't just jealousy of possibly seeing him less, but I was jealous of someone who might be near him, touch him, kiss him. I wanted to be the only person to ever be that close to him.
"Matt? Would you focus?!"
I blinked and looked up at my savior. My own personal guardian angel. "Eh?"
He growled. "We're studying Matt, stop daydreaming," he said.
Mello did not have a problem (loudly) voicing his opinions, but he didn't raise his voice at me. He didn't hit me either, even if some people thought differently. Even if he was very angry he made an attempt to not start shouting. He'd known since early on that it made me nervous.
He had snapped, just once. We'd been arguing and he'd hit me, but I've never seen him so apologetic. He'd apologized over and over for ages, and he still looked remorseful if he ever yelled. I think he still felt guilty about it, explaining partially why he might yell about people around me, but he never directed any of his anger towards me.
I had forgiven him right away anyway though. How could I not?
"Matt! Pay attention!" he flicked my head lightly and I blinked again, shaking myself out of my thoughts to focus on him. His eyes were narrowed disapprovingly, face illuminated by the setting sun from the window beside us.
I forced my thoughts away before I was distracted again. "Okay what are we going over?"
He rolled his eyes. "Sociology Matt. Honestly." He flipped through the book some then looked at me. "Do you think life would be easier if everyone lived like the Truk?"
I scanned my brain quickly to remember what lifestyle this particular village had, then shook my head. "No way. That would mean to never forgive anyone. It means we could never make a mistake."
He looked thoughtful. "But then everyone is always kind…they don't hurt each other because they know they'll never be forgiven."
"Then you'll have a problem Mel, with that temper of yours," I teased. "Besides if someone in our culture does something bad enough, they won't be forgiven; unless the person really loves them. Then there's always the chance for forgiveness. I wouldn't want to give that chance up."
"So would you forgive me?" he asked. I blinked then nodded.
He smiled. His smile is the most breathtaking thing in the world. He looks like a totally different person when he is honestly smiling. "Come on, it's time for dinner," he said, standing.
It had been strange at first, getting three meals a day. I hadn't gotten those even when I lived with my parents. I'd adapted very easily to the concept though.
We had chicken today, with mashed potatoes and rolls. They were serving chocolate for desert. I didn't catch the name but passed mine over to Mello instantly. He smiled again and raised his fork, but I stopped him. "Eat dinner first Mello."
He scowled but complied. Mello's chocolate addiction had increased tenfold since we had gotten here. Wammy's hadn't helped my love for video games lessen either. Since the orphanage encouraged our quirks, our obsessions had only grown.
"What do you think of education in the former Soviet Union?"
I blinked. "You're asking a lot of questions today," I remarked.
He shrugged. "I'm curious to hear your opinion."
"Fine," I said. "It's effective, I'll give them that, but I don't agree with it. They're still children; they shouldn't have the power to punish their own classmates. Besides that row competing could really tear down someone's self-esteem."
"What are you referring to?" he asked suspiciously.
"Nothing. I just don't think forcing children that young to compete and to be considered a failure if they're not at the top is a good idea."
The implications of what I said hung heavily in the air. Mello said nothing so I continued. "It's kind of like what Erikson said."
Mello blinked. "How is that at all like what Erikson said?"
"Industry versus inferiority. By not being praised for the work they do, they feel inferior, even if it isn't true."
It was glaringly obvious that I wasn't talking about the Soviet Union anymore. "That stage isn't covered in adolescence."
"Erikson said we're always developing. According to his theory because of our childhood we should be almost completely unable to form secure relationships. We managed okay."
I realized the moment the words left my mouth that they may have implied something. I had to stop doing that. Just because I wanted something more didn't mean that I could force these feelings on Mello.
There was no doubt that he would reject me. Sure we were close, but why would he ever want a relationship like that with me? I was helpless and clingy, not Mello's type at all. I had to satisfy myself with just being friends, or I might lose him entirely.
"Yeah I suppose we did."
We mutually dropped the subject. I didn't want to fight with him, and this was one of the conversations that led to a fight very quickly. While Mello had fully embraced the competitive life and rose to number two, I had never fully agreed with it. Sure L cared about the orphans here, but I didn't like how the system here made Mello feel. L had told me once in one of our meetings that if I ever applied myself I could beat Mello and Near both.
Frankly I disagree with that. I try hard enough, I'm just easily distracted. I'm still third after all, but even so I'm still pretty far behind Mello. Besides I don't even want to imagine Mello's reaction if I beat him in the rankings. A test here and there was fine, but to become number two? I don't know if he would forgive me.
"What are you going to do tonight?" I asked as we stood from the table. We dumped our trash and continued towards the door.
"I should study some. I got an A- on the last calculus test."
"Oh," I said, looking away. Mello studied too much in my opinion; just because he felt indebted to L. L wasn't even here- he was in Japan working on the Kira case.
Evidently he noticed the disappointment in my voice because he spoke up again. "Why? Did you want to do something?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. It's Friday, I figured we could take a break." I opened the door to our room and sprawled across my rarely used bed.
"How about I study an hour, then we make some popcorn and watch a movie?" he asked, already pulling out a heavy book.
"That sounds fair," I replied, pulling the DS Mello had bought me for my fifteenth birthday from my pocket. My original one had been broken beyond repair, and I had been saving up to buy a new one until a month ago Mello had surprised me with this as my birthday gift. I flipped open my DS and began to play.
The room was silent except for the music from my game, but Mello was true to his word and an hour later he closed the book and stood. "Ready?" he asked, stretching.
Nodding, I quickly saved my game and pocketed it. I rarely went anywhere without some type of handheld- it was a great tool against boredom.
The halls were almost empty as we made our way down to the kitchens. It didn't take long to reach them, and soon the popcorn was ready and we were heading back upstairs.
It was only the beginning of March, so it was somewhat chilly in the room. Mello narrowed down our movie choices while I pulled the comforter from my bed. He held out the final two choices and let me pick, then put the DVD in and sat beside me.
I wrapped the blanket around us both and leaned back against the foot of the bed. I loved nights like this. I loved just being able to be around him without the stress of studying being a distraction. Admittedly the stress here wasn't as extreme as trying to survive on the streets.
Mello's eyes were trained on the screen, and I found myself watching him more than the movie. When I'd first discovered my feelings I had literally burst into tears. I didn't know how I could handle it. Then I denied it for a while, before I finally just accepted it. With accepting it I learned I'd have to hide it. It hadn't been that hard, but lately it had gotten more difficult. I don't know how it's possible, but I swear I fall in love with him more every day.
It wasn't very late yet, but I'd been up late the night before beating a game, and I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes open. Eventually I let my head fall to rest on Mello's shoulder. He did nothing, used to it even two years later, and by the time the credits began rolling I was half asleep against him.
"Come on Matt," he said, nudging me gently. "I told you to stop staying up all night playing your games." He pulled me up and led me to the bed, saying he'd clean up. I got comfortable and closed my eyes.
I kind of dozed in and out for a bit, until he climbed into bed beside me. Not really thinking about it, I turned towards him and moved closer. "Night Mello," I muttered, not even sure he could understand the jumbled words coming from my mouth.
AN: And so it begins. As you can see, Matt dutifully attempts to ignore his feelings for Mello, but sometimes he can't help but think about it. I will enjoy developing his feelings throughout.
I was writing this in chemistry after my sociology, so that's how all that snuck in xD But I managed to make it relate to them so it all works out.
I don't know how I feel about this chapter. But it's kind of the introduction anyway. So please review and tell me what you think of it, and I'll try to update as soon as I can. As previously warned I may not be able to update weekly at first. Thanks for reading.
Unrelated note: Clannad After Story has just won for "sweetest anime moment ever" with episode 22. I was overwhelmed with happiness this weekend.