Completely Clueless

Tamaki Suou feels like one cool customer. He has finally realized his feelings (he is not truly Haruhi's father!), the world has become exorbitantly sparkly, and he is riding on his new, highly expensive segway.

On top of that, his inner-mind theater is going absolutely crazy. The thought that Haruhi might reject his feelings has crossed his mind, however those doubts can't seem to crush his mood that is moving in a continuing spiral upward.

And in complete Tamaki style, he is jumping fifty miles ahead of himself and is already planning their wedding. What color dress should Haruhi wear? Is she a summer or a winter? Should he ask her father to walk her down the aisle when it is rather obvious that her father will look like a woman? Should he buy her a huge engagement ring that symbolizes his great love for her or should he buy her a ring more suited to her modest lifestyle? What kind of engagement ring does a commoner like?

He is completely lost in thought as he rides his segway onto the school grounds and only stops when the twins appear in front of him laughing hysterically. Tears are spilling from their eyes as they clutch their stomachs and shake with laughter. They are none too familiar with the glazed expression that has overtaken his features.

"Tono, I didn't think you'd cosplay outside of the club!" the twins say slyly as they appear on either side of their overly-excited senpai.

"What do you mean cosplaying?" Tamaki sputters, torn from his reverie. "This 900,000 yen segway is marvelously magnificent and any girl would be incredibly impressed by this show of elegance and culture!"

"Tono," they interrupt him in tandem. "Haruhi's never going to be impressed by a run-of-the mill rent-a-cop."

"R—rent-a-cop?" Tamaki says in bewilderment, though he knows that the twins mean it as some sort of insult.

"They're the lame guys who couldn't make the real police force." The twins answer before Tamaki can finish his statement. "They always ride segways."

Tamaki is shocked and horrified. Him? Lame? But his doting father bought it for him!

Then again, his father had also told him that there were real ninjas in Japan and had sent him fake threats to break the monotony of his job.

Then Tamaki finally notices the wicked grins that Hikaru and Kaoru are sporting, but they speed of before he can teach them a lesson.

"You doppelgangers!" he yells at the top of his lungs, only to have his eyes meet those of the girl in question, who is in turn sporting her trademark stare.

"Senpai?" she asks him, a bit afraid of the answer he will give her. She knows that if he replies she will probably be late for class.

"H—Haruhi!" Tamaki stutters in surprise before he quickly attempts to recompose himself.

It doesn't work, and it leaves him with a goofy grin overtaking his features.

"Would you like to learn how to ride it?" he asks her a bit nervously, but with much excitement!"

She looks at him and replies, "No, it's fine."

The thought suddenly hits him that she is embarrassed by him, and while that has always bothered him, now that he has finally discovered his feelings, this thought leaves him absolutely petrified.

As he staggers and wilts, Haruhi turns to walk away, wishing she could honestly say that she doesn't love him deep down.

And as usual, Tamaki is completely clueless.

"She was embarrassed to be seen with me because she thought I looked like a fake policeman!" Tamaki cries from his corner of woe as he begins to disintegrate.

And again Haruhi wonders how she has possibly managed to develop feelings for such an idiot.