Here is the last chapter. I know I kind of chased my tail for a while in here but we all have our off-days, don't we? Thank you to Beahawk for her suggestion. It's not exactly what she said but she provided the link-up in my poor brain to get me here. Thank you, Bea!! Now, the rest of you, please r and r!!!!


"Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt, Father Mulcahy, and Corporal Ra-hey! That's me!" Click. Tow heartbeats. Click. "Oh, wait, um, report to Colonel Potter's office right away."


"Okay, okay, we're here. What's up?" BJ said as he came into Colonel Potter's office a short while later.

"That's what I want to know!" Potter said, annoyed. "Arguments. Bunking with the priest because you've been kicked out of your own tent. What's next? I want to know what it's all about and I want it straightened out before anybody leaves this room."

"I don't know anything about getting thrown out of a tent." Radar said.

"No, that was those two." Potter jerked a thumb in BJ and Hawkeye's direction.

"That was just a harmless joke," Father Mulcahy said. "No use wasting your valuable time worrying about it."

"Alright, we'll let that one slide, although I doubt Winchester will be so reasonable.

"Now what I want to know is, what is going on with you three?"

"Nothing," Radar insisted.

"Horse hockey."

So, reluctantly and with fill-ins here and there from Hawkeye, the whole BJ and Radar argument came out.

"And you don't have to tell me your bit, I heard it on the way into the mess tent this morning." Potter told Hawkeye.

Hawkeye looked half ashamed, half defiant.

"You know, I thought more of you three than that. Sure you have a disagreement now and then, that's natural. But there's no reason for such grudge-bearing." Father Mulcahy told them sadly.

"Hawkeye thought maybe Radar had a heat rash." BJ said, almost in defense of the younger man. Radar's cheeks went pink at that but he didn't say anything.

"Son, what is the matter?" Potter asked gently.

Radar shifted uncomfortably. "Well," he said slowly, "I'm tired of everybody blaming me for everything around here. I didn't write and mail the letters. I didn't send the packages. But it's always Radar who's the one that gets something thrown at him, or yelled at, or whatever." He looked at the Colonel strangely. "It's not my fault you haven't heard from Mrs. Colonel Potter, sir. And it's not my fault BJ hasn't heard from Mrs. Hunnicutt. Some people haven't heard from their families in a while either." He looked away, not meeting anyone's gaze.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you, son," Potter said quietly, as the others looked on in surprise.

"That's why you've been upset, Radar?" Hawkeye asked, going to his side and putting an arm around his shoulders. "You haven't had mail either?"

"A month."

"It's only been three weeks for me," BJ said, ashamed.

"I have a wonderful idea! Why don't you three call home?" Mulcahy spoke up, beaming. "I'm sure everything is alright and it'll boost your spirits to hear your loved ones' voices again."

"That's a god idea," Potter said, a smile spreading across his face.

"Yes, sir," Radar said slowly, "But we can't place personal calls till after twenty-three hundred hours."

"It's a date then!" BJ said, the prospect of hearing Peg's voice delighting him, a big grin on his face. "And Radar, after we're allowed back in the Swamp, I have three of Peg's cookies left. I've been saving them, but you can have them. I'm sorry I shouted at you."

"I'm sorry too," Hawkeye echoed.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have been so touchy." The three left together, chatting like friends again.


The three homesick soldiers, and Hawkeye, met in Radar's office just after twenty-three hundred, and each had a turn on the phone.

Mildred Potter was the first, and she was well and busy with her needlepoint. "I wrote you a couple of weeks ago, Sherm. I'm working on another now."

"Okay, sweetness." Potter said, his voice soft. "I love you."

Peg Hunnicutt was next. Everything was fine there as well, and they were worrying why they hadn't heard from BJ in a while. "In the last letter we got, you said it was finally starting to get nice and warm."

"That was five letters ago!"

When BJ got off the line, Potter said to Radar, "I think you better get on the horn tomorrow and see if there are a few mailbags falling through the cracks somewhere."

"Will do, sir."

Last one the phone was Radar. When he heard his mother's voice, his eyes filled and the others looked at one another, gave him pats on the back and slipped out to give him some privacy.


They hadn't spoken to Charles since the ice water incident the night before, though he had smiled cheerfully at them over supper.

They opened the door of the Swamp cautiously. No clicks could be heard, nor were there any other threatening sounds, so they poked their heads in.

Charles was sitting in his robe at his desk, reading a book. "Evening, gentlemen," he said.

"Hello, Charles," Hawkeye responded while he and BJ checked in and under their bunks.

"Oh, there's nothing in your beds, boys. That little incident last night, well, I've decided that it was harmless fun. In this heat, a cool shower feels good. Well, good night." He closed his book, removed his robe, and crawled into bed.

The others got into bed as well, and soon they were all asleep.

Or not.


Hawkeye woke to a torrent of cold water. It went in his nose and mouth and when he opened his eyes it blinded him. He sat up, sputtering and coughing and then the gush was no longer aimed at him but at BJ. BJ yelped and coughed and fell out of bed.

They heard laughter. "Harmless," Winchester wheezed between great, ringing, gleeful chortles. "Harmless fun."


Another M*A*S*H fic all done with. Please review, I begged earlier. Thank you for reading, and I'll be back with another as soon as I can. Have a nice day and HAPPY SPRING!!!!!!