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Food Fight

"Well, WHO asked you!?" she screamed at him.

"How DARE you speak to me like that!" he yelled back.

Libby watched the argument like a tennis match. Her neck was getting quite stiff and painful from the constant motion as she watched them throw insults back and forth.

They were getting closer and closer together as they narrowed their eyes and glared through them at The Enemy.

As strange as it sounded, she was partly glad that it had gotten to this point now. Well, they weren't going to just stop fighting, just like that, and her neck really was hurting quite badly. At least now that they were close enough, she could follow the comments without giving herself whiplash.

She sniggered a little at that thought, until it attracted some unwanted attention. All that (just barely) pent up anger towards each other seemed to be redirected towards Libby. She gulped visibly and Sheen, noticing his "woman" was in mortal peril, dashed over.

"HE SAID GREEN IS OVERRATED!!!" he yelled in a higher pitch than had been previously encountered in the natural world as he pointed accusingly. That seemed to be enough to re-focus their attention back towards one another, her protectively and yet intimidating, straightening her green attire.

"Well, it is." the eleven year old boy stated, matter-of-factly, and the argument picked up momentum once again.

"Thanks, Sheen," Libby told him, smiling briefly, "But I'm not sure what to do now. This is getting ridiculous."

It really was. They were practically one step away from having a pair of temper tantrums. She was sure steam was about to erupt from his ears any minute now and she was almost certain he would get hit soon after.

They had been "discussing things" at this unnatural volume for at least an hour now. It was the loudest, longest argument she had ever seen. And that was saying something. What had made it all the more surreal was watching Carl run around in circles behind them, his hands covering his ears and his eyes screwed tightly shut. That boy had issues.

"Um, guys?" she tried in vain, attempting to refocus her energy on stopping World War III, "Can we please give up this fighting and please find a resolution to our current SITUATION!!!"

She yelled the last word. She needed to, to be heard over the din. Everyone completely ignored her of course. Even Sheen appeared more interested in the contents of his ear canal.

Carl probably hadn't heard her, due to the fact that he had begun chanting, "Don't think of fighting. Think of llamas, fluffy llamas" under his breath.

"Figures" she murmured to herself. She decided to save her energy for the time being and watch them as if they were some form of entertainment. They would quit fighting sooner or later. She knew their pre-teen stereotype.

Only then would Jimmy and Cindy could put their heads together and try to figure out a solution to the latest Retroville disaster, caused by the boy-genius himself, of course.

Darned Jimmy! At least Cindy was right about one thing. He was always showing off! If he hadn't been then maybe he wouldn't have felt the need to use his temporal rewind on Cindy when she had tripped at Mrs Neutrons bake sale. She had landed face-first in a particularly large pie, and Jimmy had been determined to make her relive the entire humiliating episode.

Of course, nothing ever goes to plan when you want it to. There are always effects you don't want. And they always seem to happen to anyone but your intended target.

So now they had A Situation. And she was left to play referee for these two. What better way could a girl spend a Saturday afternoon? After all, it's not like she had a life, right?

She looked at the two in front of her, practically spitting venom all over one another, and laughed inwardly at the truth behind their relationship. I mean, it was obvious to everyone that they loved each other. It reminded her of that song by Men Pretending to be Boys. Oh what was it called? "I needed to hurt The One"? Or was she getting mixed up with a similar song that Graystar did?

She couldn't quite remember. Those two were giving her a headache. Darn them.

Oh my gosh, thought Libby, what was she doing? Was she really using a pie to threaten him?

Everything started to move in slow motion. Libby watched as the pie, already oozing some kind of syrup from the edge, slowly flew through the air and landed slap-bang on target. As the sticky dessert dripped through his brown hair and down the sides of his face, he glared. In fact, he didn't glare. He seethed. This was gonna get ugly.

He dramatically wiped the gooey, red substance out of his eyes, his tongue flicking at where it had dripped to the side of his mouth. As he reached for another pie from the table behind him, the other three kids slid out of view behind a table in one fluid movement. And just in time too.

As they regrouped, Sheen turned to them, "OK, this is serious now guys. I never thought I'd see this. If they can get this bad and manage not to kill each other, I might just go on a sugar free diet."

"I think we need to-" Libby stopped suddenly and looked at him. "Did you just promise to give up sugar if we can stop them?!" she asked.

Sheen looked blank and blinked before grinning insanely, "I retract my earlier statement."

"Err…whatever, we need to distract them, take their mind off of the fight"

"We're on it!"

Sheen stood up with all the grace of someone who had just stepped off a merry-go-round travelling at 60mph. When he picked himself up again, he launched himself onto the table the other two were hiding under.

"Attention!" he yelled. The pie's ceased to be airborne momentarily. Sensing his only opportunity, he yelled, "What is red in the summer, blue in the winter and smells like cheese?!"

He was immediately bombarded by a cluster of fruit and pastry. The force of the bombardment knocked him off the table and he landed flat on his back on the ground in front of Libby.

Strangely, he didn't seem in the least bit fazed by the experience. He simply stood up and approached Carl, who appeared to be doing a very good impression of a game-show presenter.

"I'm sorry, but that was the wrong answer. But my friend here has a consolation prize for you."

He puffed from his inhaler and gestured towards Sheen who looked dumbfounded for a moment, before removing something from his pocket.

"Um gum?" He was immediately attacked with the delicious missiles once again.

Libby rolled her eyes. There was only one thing for it.

"Judy! Hugh! Stop acting like such children!"

They two kids stopped in absolute shock at being spoken to in such a way. And if there was some higher power at work, it had certainly picked the right time for Jimmy and Cindy to return from the lab.

"I finally got the components reconfigured despite Cindy's 'help.'" he sniped.

"Just be glad I was willing to help at all Nerdtron, or your parents might have been stuck at our age forever!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he muttered as he pointed the Temporal Rewind at the pre-teen equivalents of his parents.

They instantly began to grow in size as they returned to their original ages.

"James Isaac Neutron!"

"Sorry mom! But there was a solar flare that I forgot to counter for in my calculations……."

Libby led Cindy away as Jimmy's explanation became more and more complicated.

"So girl, you and Jimmy, all alone in that lab for at least four hours…" she raised an eyebrow to make her point.

"Oh plu-lease Libs!" she said, "All we did down there was fight! I actually started throwing stuff at him at one point! He made me so mad…..How can you even pretend there could possibly be anything there? I just…Grrrrr…….HATE him!"

She smirked, "Sure you do."

"There's just one last thing I don't get, Sheen," Carl directed at him, as the two lagged behind the girls a bit, "What is red in the summer, blue in the winter and smells like cheese?"

Sheen just shrugged. "Beats me! I was hoping they'd know."


Haha! I wrote in a OMGNOWAI! moment for you all! I iz a tricksy ninja!

Bye from Bagpipe-land!