Notes: People who do not like Lovely Complex are clearly on heavy drugs. Much like this fic!
A Matter of Weight Ratio
Nobuko wasn't terribly surprised when she entered the classroom one day, only to find Risa hanging out one of the windows despondently, looking rather like someone had accidentally sat on her cat and squished it to death.
"Well?" she tucked her hair behind her ears and set her legs firmly—it was always good to take precautions with Risa, after all, "What is it?"
"I—I—!" Risa wailed in abject misery. "Nobu-chan, I'm—"
Nobuko dodged the sudden, furious tackling glomp Risa attempted and stood unmoved whilst the tall girl crashed to the floor. "Well? What's wrong with you? Should I call the nurse?"
"I'M FAT!" Risa wailed, and buried her face in her hands.
Nobuko waited for the punch line. "What."
"I—!" Risa latched herself around Nobuko's leg with another blubber, "I outweigh my boyfriend by twenty pounds!" And here, she dissolved into hysterical lamentation. Nobuko looked skyward.
"Oh, good god."
"I'm a blimp! I'm a whale!"
Otani chose this moment to make his grand appearance. He paused, the door halfway open, and studied the scene before him: his girlfriend weeping, and a rapidly approaching homicide Nobuko.
He very wisely shut the door. Nakao paused in his animated recount of the weekend, and squinted at his friend in confusion. "What's wrong? We'll be late."
"I am not going in there," Otani said very firmly, and glowered up at Nakao through his bangs. Nakao stared at him for a moment, and then very gently picked the shorter boy up, and set him to the side.
"Nobu-chan?" Nakao called tentatively, as Risa was still making a scene all over the place. A couple of juniors paused as they passed the room, shooting her curious looks, before beaming Otani with a rather pointed 'fix-it-you-worthless-shrimp' kind of glare.
"Get him in here," Nobuko hissed through her teeth, and before Otani had time to flee, Nakao was dragging him in by his collar and depositing him before his mess of a girlfriend. Risa abruptly cut herself off, staring at his shoes with undisguised horror. Otani felt slightly hurt. He was even more so when she launched herself behind Nobuko, gripping her friend firmly around the waist and using her as a human shield.
"No! I can't let him see me like this! I'm huge!"
Otani stared at her. He didn't quite get it. "…You are only just realizing this?"
Risa paused in her shrieking long enough to hit him with one of the most betrayed looks to ever grace human expression. "I—I don't need to hear that coming from you! What's wrong with you?! Why didn't you eat more as a kid?!"
Otani could feel his face burn, "Shut up! It's in my genes! My dad was small too!"
In the background, Nobuko was making frantic clawing motions in his general direction, and was only just barely restrained by Nakao. He wondered if he should be worried.
"Oh, must be nice," Risa sniffled, glaring at him, "There's still time! Go! Go eat cake!"
"You eat cake!" he hissed at her, kind of liking that he could, for once, glare down at her. And then she stood up and his minor ego inflation was totally ruined.
"I THOUGHT WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT I DIDN'T NEED ANY," she roared, and prodded her stomach pointedly.
Otani was opening his mouth to make a hot retort when the situation began to sink in, "…wait."
"These people are going to give me wrinkles," Nobuko told Nakao darkly. He laughed a little nervously.
"What're you talking about?" he said lowly, and started dragging her out of the room by her elbow. Risa sniffled, her nose and eyes very red. She was also dragging her heels petulantly, just like a child.
"You—you—I'm fat!" she cried, and covered her face with her hands.
Otani just sort of stared at her, "Are you drunk?"
"YOU ARE A HORRIBLE BOYFRIEND!" she screeched, and tried to pull his hair out. He squirmed away, swatting at her.
"What's your problem?! I just said you weren't fat!"
"You told me I was drunk!" she insisted, her face rapidly becoming blotchy. He suspected his was much the same.
"I was implying that you weren't fat!"
"I weigh twenty pounds more than you do!" she hissed, looking horribly ashamed. He gaped at her.
"Of course you do, you're half a foot taller."
"Don't remind me!" she muttered sulkily, and sniffled again. Otani ran his hands through his hair, entirely aggravated and hoping she'd stop crying soon.
"…look. I don't think you're fat. You aren't. Actually, you're kind of twiggy. And—and you're a lot prettier than any girl I've dated so far, s-so, just, stop crying. Please." He looked at his shoes, and was deeply relieved when her sniffing died out. There was a beat of silence.
"I love you."
His face flared up horribly, "D-don't worry about it," he said kind of desperately, and sort of patted her head in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He had to stand on his toes. She beamed at him. Tentatively, he smiled back.
"THAT'S IT?!" the entire classroom exploded, all of them looking like they might cheerfully strangle their favorite comedy duo. Risa turned scarlet. Otani blanched.
"Mind your own business!" Risa moaned, at the same time Otani roared, "Can't you read the mood?! Shut up!"