A/N: RAMEN PARTY!!! Okay, this is just a random one-shot I'm doing. :D Mostly it's talking about Seme/Uke relationships and HOW YOU CAN SPOT YOUR VERY OWN UKE!! XDD Ignore the steriods-induced high. Includes ramen, blondes, competition and uke-ness! Read and enjoy!! A/N end


It come out of nowhere. They were talking about homework, and suddenly, this random topic not in the very least related, cropped up.


"Yes, Chibi?"

"...I wanna eat ramen."


Edward scrunched up his face some more. "I want to eat ramen."

"Why so... sudden?"

Edward shrugged. "My body is telling me to have ramen for dinner tonight..."

Envy rolled his eyes. For someone who stood firmly on all things scientific, Edward sure is surprisingly unscientific, like the way he says his body wants, of all things, ramen. Envy snorted. "Tell your body we're having fish and chips tonight. Besides, since when does your body's demands do you any good? Your body has been telling you that milk is bad for you, but then what you usually eat doesn't seem to be helping you grow any taller."

Edward's eyebrow twitched. "My body (or more accurately, my stomach) rejects your case, and besides, drinking milk might not make me any taller, so your point is moot." he growled, flipping his blonde ponytail over his shoulder.

Envy rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, whatever you want, chibi. Just remember that you owe me one."

Edward turned around and grinned back at him. "See you at 6!" he called to Envy, and took off home.


Edward rubbed his hands together. It was a chilly evening, and he a steaming bowl of ramen would be perfect! Alphonse pulled on his shoes and locked the door. "Where are we going, nii-san?" he asked, that grin ever-present on his face.

Edward scanned the street for his boyfriend's car and replied, "The new ramen shop in town. I heard it's awesome."

A sleek dark green Porsche stopped in front of the Elric's driveway, and Wrath opened the door. "C'mon in, Al, you sit in the back with me." Edward hopped into the passenger's seat and gave Envy a quick kiss. Identical choruses of 'eeew' sounded in the backseat, and Envy rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, like you guys haven't done it before. Heck, I even over heard one your make-out sessions."

The two boys blushed a bright red and looked away, though their fingers were still locked together.

They found a parking spot with ease, and exited.

The place was crowded. They had to wait in line behind another couple.

"Hey, hey, I heard this place has extra big bowls! Cool!" the chirpy blonde rambled.

Edward couldn't help but over hear their conversation. The blond was so... loud, and besides, he's got nothing else to do.

"Dobe... You're too loud." the other guy said. He turned his face slightly and Envy got a good look of his face. It screamed Beautiful and Gay.

The blond pouted and smacked the other guy on his arm. "Jeez, Sasuke, you're no fun."

"That's just because you're too loud, dobe."

"I'll... make it up to you tonight..." the blond whispered in his ear, but it was loud enough for Envy and Edward to hear. They started coughing, slightly embarrassed.

"You'd better." The guy called Sasuke smirked, and thwacked the blond gently on the head.

Edward glanced at Envy, but the tall teen was too busy shaking with mirth. Edward wondered absently what was so funny.


They had waited nearly 10 minutes when a waitress came up to them.

"We've got a table for six. Would you mind sharing?" she asked, looking from Envy to Sasuke.

The two boys shrugged and nodded. She brightened up and led them to their table, one of the largest near the middle.

The company of six sat down, and took their orders.

"An extra-large bowl of beef ramen, please!" The blond said with an enthusiastic grin. Edward glanced at him, a little nervous. "Mushroom for me."

Alphonse and Wrath ordered the chicken.

Envy frowned and glanced at the menu. Everything was either carbs or fat. He shook his head. He was going to keep his slim body, thank you very much.

"No thanks."

Envy raised an eyebrow the dark-haired boy, who had spoken the same words at the same time as him. The boy shrugged and turned his attention back to his loud blonde. Envy too turned back to his loud blond. Though Edward was quieter. Slightly. And less annoying.

"I'll have milk, please."

Edward, who was sitting to the blond who ordered the milk, jumped up in his seat and started jerking awkwardly, his face frozen into on of utmost horror.

"And you, boy? Milk too? For a growing body?" The young waitress smiled at Edward, obviously oblivious to his reaction.

Envy slammed his head to the table, startling Sasuke.


Edward turned a funny purple color before launching into one of his famous "I'M-NOT-SHORT" yelling sprees. The poor waitress looked so vulnerable and helpless that Envy felt a little sorry for her. Almost.

"Chibi, don't yell. You're too loud."

Edward stopped mid-sentence and glowered darkly at the waitress. She whimpered a little and hid slightly behind her order sheet. He asked for iced lemon tea and shot the blond who ordered milk a nasty look. He just stared back.

Sasuke watched all this with his usual impassive face. He won't acknowledge that the other guy's blonde was loud -maybe louder- but his was loud on a regular basis. He leaned back and decided to just enjoy the show.


When the ramen came, the two blondes inhaled the noodles like their lives depended on it. Envy and Sasuke both shared a glance, for they have never seen another guy who could eat as fast and as loud -basically destroying all rules of proper social etiquette- as their own blonds.

Envy had a feeling he had somehow made a new friend.

Sasuke stared at his glass of iced lemon tea. He needed to do some thinking.


Naruto glared at Edward out of the corner of his eyes. He couldn't believe it! Nobody had ever eaten as fast and as much as him, and he wasn't about to let that fact change.

Instead, he quickened his pace and chomped furiously. Edward never slowed down, though he was eating less and less with each bite.

Wrath had decided to join in the fun and gobbled Al's bowl of ramen too.

Envy played with his glass of green tea.

Finally he cleared his throat.


Sasuke glanced at him. Does this have something to do with the fact that our boyfriends are trying to out-eat each other?

"Does he... do that often?" Envy continued, waving his hand at the three blondes -sorry, three natural blondes, one who had his hair dyed- eating away into bliss.

Sasuke was right to suspect it had something to do with Naruto. He sighed.


Envy felt very much at ease with this Sasuke guy. At least they had something to talk about. God knows when those three will stop eating.

"How did you two get together?"

Sasuke thought for a moment. He had never thought about it, he realized.

"He annoyed me."

Envy grinned. "I get it."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "How do you get it?"

Envy just smiled brightly. "Same thing happened with me and Ed. It's like, you know, a Seme-Uke thing."

Sasuke's eyes widened. Of course!

"It's so easy to tell who's going to be the top or bottom in a relationship, ya know?" Envy continued happily.

"Blonde and loud. Cute. I see..." Sasuke murmured, turning this fascinating piece of discovery over in his calculating head.

"I mean, it's always like that. The cute, loud and annoying one is the bottom, and the top will be the bent alpha-male or something or other." Envy kept on going.

Sasuke glanced at the young blond who sat in between Envy and Edward. Whose boyfriend was currently also too absorbed in his ramen to take notice. Poor boy.

"Although, maybe not. Like sometimes the loud annoying ones may top. And they'll have the quiet innocent ones."

Envy knew who Sasuke meant. "Wrath and Al? Innocent? They got together faster than us, fer christ's sake!"

Sasuke studied Alphonse over the rim of his drink. Alphonse just stared back. With big, round hazel eyes.

"He's screaming 'Uke'." Sasuke said quietly.

Envy looked at Alphonse too. "Yeah he is. Maybe you're right." He sighed, sad that his Law of the World was, in fact, flawed.

Alphonse looked from the blacked-haired moving statue to his boyfriend's brother, who also happened to be his brother's boyfriend, and finally said in his quiet voice,

"I'm on top."


I had trouble writing this one-shot. It was really hard to write. I'm sorry about the abrupt ending. But I just HAD to finish writing it and I just can't seem to write it properly. D':

Anyone wants to Beta me? Pretty please? :D