Happy St. Patrick's Day, Mustang!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, ok?
Roy Mustang opened his eyes slowly, shaking the sleep from them like water from a dog. Something was not right. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had a sinking feeling that whatever was making him uneasy had something to do with the rather large box on his office floor.
"What the hell?" he muttered, head pounding as he stood up, walking over to the aforementioned box. "I guess I'd better open it, huh?"
He no sooner undid the first clasp of the large wooden box then it swung open violently, and an angry little leprechaun jumped out, an evil grin on its face.
"What do you think you be doin', you rascal?"it bellowed. "This is me box! Hands off!"
Roy stared in disbelief. "Wha. . . why. . . how. . ."
"If yer quite done, lad, I could use a bit o' help," admitted the still rather stern little creature. "Ya see, me pot o'gold's gone and run off. If ya can find her for me, lad, I'll reward ya most handsomely. But if not," he added, winking mischievously, "Ya can say farewell to this bauble here." He held up one hand, from which was dangling something shiny. . . Roy's watch!
"Why you little devil!"shouted Roy, his hematite eyes flashing angrily. "Give that back!" He lunged for the creature, only to land flat on his nose as it vanished in a puff of smoke, box and all.
"I can't believe this," he sighed in frustration. "I guess I'm going gold hunting."
As Roy wandered through the streets of Central, he found himself face to face with a very frightened little rabbit.
"What's wrong, little buddy?" he asked.
The rabbit pointed behind him, quivering. Roy turned, finding himself face to face with the muzzle of a very familiar pistol.
"What are you doing to that poor rabbit?"
"Punishing it, sir. It's been a very naughty bunny."
Roy sighed. "Riza, you do realize that Easter isn't for another month yet, right?"
"Yes. But he must be punished all the same."
Roy rolled his eyes. "Alright. Carry on."
The bunny squealed in terror. "But boss," it squeaked frantically, "I swear I didn't do anything!"
"Really? And why should I believe you?"
"Because I can help you! Honest! Don't let her shoot me, boss!"
"Help me? Fine. Can you tell me how to find a pot of gold?"
"That's easy. Just follow a rainbow, like that one over there!" The bunny gestured towards a rainbow several blocks away.
"Thank you, little bunny," said Roy, who took off towards the rainbow. He didn't even hear the gunshot, he was so excited.
Finally, Roy found the end of the rainbow, behind a dumpster in an alley. A large hunk of metal was resting against the wall with a saucer of milk out in front of it. Several stray cats were drinking from it.
"Ehh! Cats," muttered Roy under his breath. He took a step forward. "Excuse me, but are you the pot of gold the leprechaun sent me to find?"
"Pot of gold?" it looked at him, confused. "Colonel Mustang, is something wrong with you?"
"Don't change the subject! Are you or aren't you?"
The metallic being sighed. "No. I'm not a pot of gold."
"Then why are you at the end of a rainbow?"
"I don't kno. . . what rainbow?"
Roy looked behind him. The rainbow was still there, as bright as ever. "The rainbow right there! Can't you see it?"
"Are you sure you're alright? You don't look too good."
Roy tried to answer, but his mouth suddenly wouldn't work. Murmuring some gibberish about leprechaun tricks, he melted to the ground as the world around him faded to black.
"Are you sure the Colonel's going to be alright?"asked Havoc, a pair of slightly bullet-holed bunny ears balanced precariously on his head.
"I'm sure he'll be fine, Havsie," replied Hawkeye, chuckling as her companion blushed at the nickname. "He just had too much to drink during the pub crawl last night."
"Let's hope the bastard's alright!"bellowed Ed. "I wanna teach him a lesson or too. I don't know where he gets off calling me a leprechaun! All I wanted was some help finding Al, and he. . . he. . . ARGH!! He makes me so ANGRY!"
"Calm down, brother," replied Al. "He didn't know what he was saying."
"Sure he didn't! And I suppose he didn't know what he was doing when he tried to go through me suitcase either."
The other three looked at him blandly, and then began laughing hysterically.
"What? What? WHAT?!"
Happy St. Patrick's Day from The Duct Tape Alchemist. Don't forget to drink responsibly!