by PaBurke

Distribution: The Nook

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended, no money made, no characters created.

Spoilers: Batman and pre-Batman Beyond.

Summary: It's all in how you define the terms.

Warning: Just a mild spit-take warning, and warning for sexual innuendo and British slang

Word Count: 200

Alfred opened the front door of the Wayne Manor, and used all of his butler experience to not stare or glare disapprovingly. A woman stood on the stoop half-dressed in some flimsy assortment of 'artfully-arranged' rags. He hoped that this would not become a common occurrence now that Master Bruce was gearing up his double life. "I'm sorry Ms. Breathart, Master Wayne is busy with his Saturday totty. Perhaps if you came back later…"

"Totty? That's English, isn't it?" The 'model' flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. Alfred was impressed that the little bits of fabric continued to cover their assigned bits of body.

"Indeed, ma'am."

"Brucie is just soooo cultured."

"Indeed, ma'am."

Ms. Breathart handed Alfred a card. "Have him call me, please?"

Alfred tucked the card into his pocket and closed the door. Bruce Wayne was hiding behind it.

He looked alarmed. "Another one? I just got rid of two."

"Another one, Master Bruce. Your collection of totty is growing at an alarming rate."

"True. Put her card with the rest. I'll use it later." Bruce grinned for a moment and imitated the 'model's' breathless voice. "It makes Brucie all the more cultured."

"If you insist, sir."