Cartman X Kyle XV

Kyle lay quietly on Cartman's bed as the fat boy went out to get a bunch of USB ports and photocopies of the picture. He had to sit quietly. After the two boys had reached Cartman's house Cartman had covered Kyle's face with an alcohol covered cloth so he'd pass out and then proceeded to bind and gag the little Jewish boy.

"Mmph mmph mmph!" Kyle swore into his gag and decided this must be how Kenny feels all the time.

Speaking of Kenny, that's who Cartman left to guard him.

"Mmph mmph, mmph mmph mmph mmphmmph!" Kenny said apologetically, showing the $50 bill Cartman had given him.

"Mmphmmphmmph mmph" Kyle sighed, not really mad at the poor boy in the orange parka. Even if Cartman hadn't paid Kenny to watch him, Cartman had wasted no effort making it virtually impossible for him to escape the ropes tied around him. First he's bound his arms and legs, then wrapped the rope around from ankles to chin, so he sort of looked like he was wearing something like a rope straight jacket. And having Kenny there added the benefit of his sympathy. That God for that.

Cartman at last returned, arms full of copies and USBs that contained the picture. He quickly blindfolded a mmphing Kyle and hid these variously around his room and then had Kenny help him hide them around the rest of his house and backyard. He returned to the bedroom and at last removed Kyle's blindfold and gag, but not the ropes.

"DUDE! What the HELL?!" Kyle screamed as soon as the gag came out.

"Now no matter how hard you look, you'll never find them all!" Cartman laughed "So I'll always have the upper hand now Kahl!"

"You know what Cartman? Fuck you. You can just go fuck yourself you fucking faggot son of a whore!" Kyle shouted and Kenny tried to interject.


"Kenny, this is between me and Kyle so can you leave now? I'll call you if I need anything else" Cartman sighed.


"Get out of here Kenny"

Kenny stared at Kyle who had said that "Mmph? Mmph?"

"Because I know that Cartman will probably end up doing something disgusting to make you leave ad I'd rather not be subjected to that."

"Mmph" Kenny shifted uncomfortably before adding uncertainly "Mmph, mmph mmph mmph mmph" the be-parkaed boy left the room, glancing back over his shoulder as he went and walking straight into a large knife protruding from the wall at died.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny! You bastards!" Kyle gasped, then sighed "It just doesn't sound right without Stan. Why the hell is there a knife sticking out of your wall anyway Cartman?"

"I don't know" Cartman shrugged "Maybe my mom had that knife throwing guy from the circus over again last night"

"God, your mom really IS a whore Cartman" Kyle sighed. He would've shaken his head but the ropes prevented that.

Cartman twitched as he shut his bedroom door so Kenny's dead eyes wouldn't be staring at them. He looked at Kyle "Okay, you know what You're right. You're fucking right Kahl. My mom is a dirty whore. There. I admitted it" Cartman watched Kyle's expression.

"Um… okay…" the Hebrew replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes Kyle, my mother is a whore" Cartman, standing over the Jewish boy "And your mother is a big fat bitch."

"HEY! DON'T CALL MY MOM A BITCH CARTMAN!" Kyle shouted in anger.

Cartman put his finger to Kyle's lips and shook his head. Kyle looked about to talk anyway so the fat boy clamped one hand over Kyle's mouth.

"Kyle, your mother is a bitch. I admitted my mom is a whore because it's just true and I'm not going to fight you about it anymore. But your mom is a bitch Kyle, that's also true."

"Mmph mmph MMPH!"

"Yes it IS Kyle!' Cartman growled "She KILLED Terrence and Phillip! She gets mad over everything and sent you to bi-curious camp! And I assure you that worrying about your mother kicking you out of the house for a picture like that is not normal! Your mother is a bitch. And when I remove my hand Kahl, I want you to admit it"

Kyle glared "Mmph MMPH MMPH MMPH!"

"Look Kyle, I'm fucking right okay you little Jew rat so admit your mom's a bitch! She fucking IS! Just close your eyes and THINK about it!" Cartman shouted. Kyle twitched and closed his eyes.

In Kyle's mind the 9-year-old Jewish boy went over all he knew about his mother. All her rants. All her riots. All her lies 'for his own good'. Everything. And he realized that he knew. He knew that his mom was a bitch, a big fat one at that. But to admit that would be to agree with Cartman. To agree to one of his basic insults.

Still… Cartman WAS right. He couldn't escape that fact. He sighed deeply and opened his eyes.

"Mmph" Kyle sighed and Cartman carefully removed his hand "Fine. My mom's a bitch. Are you happy now?" Kyle asked in irritation.

Cartman then leaned downand kissed Kyle, very softly, on his lips "Yes Kahl, I'm very happy"

The Jewish boy flushed as red as his hair.