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Dean continued to hug his brother, trying to transfer what little warmth he had in his body to Sam's.
His mind raced back to the moment where they watched their father die, where he had to watch John's body burn on a pile of sticks. He shuddered at the idea of doing that to Sam. No, he wouldn't do that to his brother, ever. He couldn't. He felt the snow fall harder, and faster on him. He eyed Sam again and saw how still his brother looked, how silent. No, not again.
"Sam? Sammy!" His voice was sharp, the overprotective tone he used for his brother in it once again. "Sammy!" Sam moaned, but his eyes remained closed.
"Come on Sam," Dean growled, lowering his voice. "Come on, you gotta open your eyes for me. Okay? Can you do that?"
"Tired," Sam mumbled and Dean sighed.
"I know Sammy, but I need you to keep your eyes open for me. You can't close them."
"Tired," Sam whispered in a barely audible voice.
"I know, Sam, but you gotta keep them open. You can't close them." Dean squeezed Sam's body tightly. "Don't worry, Sammy, I'm not leaving you alone."
"You should," Sam said, his voice so weak he could barely talk. "Get help."
"For the last time, Sam, no." Dean's voice held a no nonsense tone now.
Sam knew better than to protest. He tried to hide his shiver but he knew Dean saw it for Dean inched as close as he could towards Sam's body.
"Keep me awake," Sam suddenly begged and Dean frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know...."Sam was struggling to speak. "What was she like?"
Dean paused before hesitating. He hated talking about Mary, hated the pain that crept up inside of him whenever he did. But he'd do it damn it, he'd do it for Sammy.
He caughed and cleared his throat.
"What do you want to know?"
"I don't know..."Sam struggled to speak. "What do you remember?"
Dean's lips had turned so blue it hurt to bite down on them. But he did so anyway as he struggled to remember.
"I remember laughter," his voice was barely audible as he spoke. "I remember lots of laughter...dad was big on laughter...so was mom."
"Dad?" Sam managed to turn and look at him. "Are you serious/"
"Yeah...he was a different person completly when mom was alive."
Sam didn't respond. A part of him was always jealous that Dean got to spend those four happy years with his parents, without any worries. How Sam envied him sometimes, wish he could have just one of those years to remember what it was like to be normal. To not be some kind of freak.
"She loved stories," Dean continued. "She'd always read to me and dad would always be listening at the doorway." His throat closed as he remembered happier times, simpler times. More peaceful times. "I...I remember when they told me she was pregnant with you." He shook his head while smiling a bit. "I haven't even met you and I already hated you."
Sam gave a snort as a response.
"Somehow I don't find that hard to believe." His voice was weak, but he was still awake and still listening, so Dean continued.
"I was jealous," he admitted. "I had mom and dad all to myself, I didn't want to share...but than Dad sat me down and told me that I was going to get more responsibilites now. They were going to have to be able to trust me with you...that it was my job as an older brother to protect you, look after you no matter what."
He paused for a few minutes. "I was only 3, but I remembered every word of that conversation. And I remember when they brought you home for the first time...mom and dad started to tell me how to hold you but it was like I already knew how...I already knew I had to be careful...and how to take care of you." He glanced over at his baby brother. "Something I'm not too great at, apparenetly."
"You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Dean," he managed to rasp weakly.
Dean shook his head.
"No, I'm not being hard enough. You...you're the most important thing to me right now Sammy...I can't, I wont' screw this up."
Sam opened his mouth to protest but Dean froze when he heard rustling from the bushes. He ordered Sam to remain silent and both laid there, completly frozen. Both knew if something wanted to attack or hurt them right than and there, there was nothing they could do to stop it....
Kind of short, but please review! Hopefully Dean's memories weren't too cheesy! :)