Notes: I-It could happen. (Shut up. Everything makes sense in my head!)

Over the Fence

Erza sniffed the fabric in front of her wearily, but conceded that it smelled only faintly of freezer burn and boy, then pulled it roughly over her head, loose in the shoulders and tight across her chest. It was sort of comfortable, really. "I don't see what the big deal is. I'm not throwing a fit, am I?"

There was a muffled curse as Gray tripped over god knows what and slammed painfully into the dressing room wall. His pants came sailing over it, and she grabbed them before sending her skirt over. He sounded highly disgruntled, and more than a little embarrassed. "Whatever. You already dress like a man."

"I wear a skirt," Erza protested indignantly.

"It's more like a kilt—ow." Gray's sulky mutterings were cut off yet again as he managed to impale himself in his desperate struggles. Erza took a moment to fasten his belt uncomfortably low around her hips, and then stepped out and knocked on his door.

"What's the matter with you?"

"It's this—this thing!" he wailed, and she waited patiently for him to stop sniveling.

"Come on, open the door."

"WHAT." He sounded highly scandalized. Erza thought of happy things.

"Gray. Come on. Do you really think I haven't seen it all by this point."

"But I don't—I've put on weight." he said too quickly. She crossed her arms, hanging limp in their too-long sleeves.

"Good. You needed it, you twig."

"What." he squealed, or would have if his vocal range were capable of it, "I am built."

"I have more muscle mass than you do," Erza said imperiously. She stared resolutely at the dressing room door. Really, what a baby.

"Your gender remains questionable," Gray said darkly, in a tone hinting that she Shouldn't Push It. Erza tucked some hair behind her ears.


"HEY NO SHUT UP I AM RIPPED YOU SEE THIS?!" Gray burst out of the dressing room, pinching his bicep between his fingers, flushed with emotion. It was then that Erza saw the cause of his distress—her braw, diagonal over one shoulder and backwards. She smothered one hand over her mouth. "Mmf."

Gray paused in this frenzied tirade of how 'ripped' he was to glare at her suspiciously. "What. Are you questioning my manliness? Because, you've got—you know, skinny girl arms."

She pinched him in the soft skin at his elbow, and he almost keeled over. "Okay, okay, your skinny girl arms kick my ass, your point is proven."

"You idiot," she indicated the bra he had donned so unsuccessfully, "It's not that hard."

"Oh, shut up," he muttered darkly, "I learned how to take them off."

Erza treated him to a highly unpleasant look. Gray smiled in what he hoped was a very, very charming sort of manner. "You know Erza, you have lovely eyes. Actually, they're sort of charming when they—look at me like they're considering homicide."

"Hopeless," Erza muttered, and did up the bra for him, straightened his skirt, and led him out of the room, where she posed daringly and Gray tried to hide behind her.

The entire guild considered them. "Damn it," Lucy slapped a twenty into Natsu's hand. "Fine. You were right. Gray makes a better girl than Erza does a man."

Natsu cackled. Gray made strangling gestures in his general direction, until Erza looked at him pointedly, and he had to settle for passive-aggressive backwards cat-calls.